A Firefly-meme Glossary for non-Browncoats

Believe me, non-Browncoats, I understand how you feel. You’re going through Firefly week here at CliqueClack and thinking, “I have absolutely no idea what they are talking about.” I went through the same thing back when we did Veronica Mars week last winter. But this isn’t the first time you’ve had to deal with Firefly inside jokes … the internet is full of them! You’d really like some context, but you don’t want to have the show spoiled for you. Don’t worry, folks — I’ve compiled this list of Firefly-isms you can often find online and added my own explanation of them. These aren’t necessarily the funniest or favorite quotes (although some of them are), but the ones most used in thousands of forums, webcomics and online articles. And since this is for people who haven’t seen the show, I’m going to keep the explanations as spoiler-free as I possibly can.

Browncoats. — Yeah, what the heck are Browncoats, anyway? In the series’ lore, it’s the nickname given to the rebels of a civil war against the Alliance, the main government of the Universe. The Browncoats were crushed in the war, and those that survived may tend to lay low, but still have disdain for the Alliance. Captain Mal Reynolds (Nathan Fillion) is one of those survivors. In internet terms, Browncoats is used to describe any fan of Firefly, especially those who petitioned FOX to have the film Serenity made.

Captain Tightpants. — The name Kaylee (Jewel Staite) calls Mal when he wears tight pants at a fancy party. Online, it applies to anyone wearing tight pants … or to Nathan Fillion in general.

I aim to misbehave. — The end of an epic speech by Mal during Firefly‘s movie Serenity. Speaker is either ready to do something insanely badass or just really likes Nathan Fillion. Or both. Usually both.

I swallowed a bug. — One of the more quotable lines from River Tam (Summer Glau), a teenage girl rescued from horrific experiments by the government (it’s in the pilot, so not too much of a spoiler). While extraordinarily intelligent, the experiments left River “not quite there,” and this line is a good representation of that.

Let’s be bad guys. — Probably Jayne Cobb’s (Adam Baldwin) most iconic line. Represents the “anti” part of their anti-hero status.

Big damn heroes. — Spoken by woman-in-arms Zoe (Gina Torres) right before they unexpectedly save the day. It’s also the unofficial title to the crew of Serenity and obviously the “hero” part of their anti-hero status.

We shall call it… this land. […] Ah, curse your sudden but inevitable betrayal! — Probably the most well-known lines from Serenity pilot and comic relief Wash (Alan Tudyk). This is actually from his first scene in the whole show. It’s also the first truly funny line of the whole series, setting Wash to be the unofficial breaker of tension … in the best way, of course.

Shiny. — Futuristic synonym for cool, awesome or neat. The adjective is used by practically every member of the crew at one point or another, but especially by Kaylee. It’s also used often by fans as a way of describing anything about the show.

Gorram. — Chinese for “Goddamn.” The dialogue in Firefly (the series) and Serenity (the movie) is a mixture of mostly English and some Chinese added in. The Chinese is almost entirely foul language, a rather brilliant way to get around FOX’s censors. Gorram is definitely one of the most common curses in the show, and the one most used by Browncoats online.

Pretty cunning, don’tchya think? — Used to describe Jayne’s hat, knitted and sent to him by his dear mother. One of Jayne’s sweeter moments in the show. It’s more about the hat than the quote, but the two go hand in hand. Many a-knitting Browncoats have recreated this hat … including my friend Krista, who made one for me. I freaking love that hat.

This must be what going mad feels like. — Spoken by Simon (Sean Maher), the most uptight of the ship’s crew, when he sees a particularly strange sight involving Jayne. Can be used online to describe anything strange beyond words.

A very special level of hell. A level they reserve for child molesters and people who talk at the theater. — Also the level reserved for people who take advantage of naive women, as coldly explained by Shepherd Book (Ron Glass) to Mal. Online, this level of hell can apply to other unusual sins as well.

I call it Vera. — Jayne’s beloved gun. Vera is proof that Jayne can be tender to someone … even if that someone is a gun.

Hey, I’ve been in a firefight before! Well, I was in a fire … Actually, I was fired from a fry-cook opportunity. — Arguably the second most well-known quote from Wash. As one of the least militaristic members of the crew, Wash gets jealous of his wife Zoe and Mal’s relationship and tries to compensate by telling this story of heroics … and french fries.

Also, I can kill you with my brain. — River’s own description of her special psychic gifts. Only works if you say it in a deadpan voice.

I’ll be in my bunk. — Spoken by Jayne after getting hot and bothered by Companion — AKA futuristic geisha/concubine — Inara (Morena Baccarin) and one of her clients. Used online to suggest needing some … adult alone time (sometimes adult together time), if you know what I mean.

Oh god oh god we’re all gonna die? — Wash’s definition of interesting, in regards to rumblings in the engine. Like in the original series, Wash makes the first real joke in Serenity as well.

I am a leaf on the wind. — A sad reminder that at any moment of any series he’s writing, producing or directing, Joss Whedon will break our hearts. And if you really want to know what that means, you’re just going to have to watch the series and movie.

Clacked by Katie Schenkel
on Jun 15, 2011 @ 11:00 EST5EDT