MasterChef – Wow’em with your nipples, not with the food

Wow.

Did I ever have problems with this episode of MasterChef.

And, since I don’t really see any way of getting around them, I might as well jump in head first:

• Problem #1: Michael and his burnt, grilled onions. And unseasoned to boot. Cooking 101 doesn’t even begin to explain this.
• Problem #2: You don’t put a blind person on the service line. Come on … common freakin’ sense.
• Problem #3: Don’t don’t don’t don’t don’t put food on a tray using your hands. And don’t give me any crap about “well … at least they were wearing gloves.” I saw damned tongs. I know I did. Use’em for crying out loud. If I was served food right in front of me where the protein was placed on the receptacle I was holding with someone’s hand, I’d give it back.
• Problem #4: Frank’s memory. He said right in the middle of the time allotted prior to the Marines arriving “I hope we have enough pasta” … yet he was serving double portions throughout … ?!? What the hell … ?!? Is he goofy?
• Problem #5: Raw pork. This must have been a carry over from the Hell’s Kitchen episode where the pork was still squealing an hour earlier. Raw pork was the apparent running theme on Fox Monday. (Guess I should have tuned in to the local news to see if I could catch a trifecta.)
• Problem #6: Scott’s apple pie. Three words: No. Pie. Bottom.

And I saved the best (or … worst, rather) for last. Care to guess? Yep … you got it …

• Problem #7: Ryan The Asshat. Are you flocking fuguing flicking fudging ducking forking freakin’ kidding me … ?!???!? His “If there really was a time to flash a nip, ladies …” where he was “supposedly” kidding in noting such to the girls to garner additional votes for his team was reprehensible not to mention condemnable.

I’ve had an intense dislike for this dude ever since the season 3 premiere, right on through the last few episodes. But now? He’s downright disgusting in my book. What an asshole.

Last season it was the attitude and cockiness of Christian Collins on MasterChef (knowing a lot of it was smoke and mirrors and editing), but Ryan Umane leaves a slimy, bad taste in my mouth every time I see the guy. And trust me: There’s no editing that’s causing him to say and act the way he’s been thus far on the show. I don’t see the possibility of anything — ANYTHING — he could do to redeem himself after that comment. What a douchebag.

Oh … and there was stuff about Marines and pasta and cole slaw and apple pie on this episode.

And Michael was eliminated for baking cheese into his pie.

And that’s all I have to say about that.

*walks off fuming*

Quote:

“He may as well have baked his apron into the pie.” — Joe about Michael’s apple pie with cheese

Clacked by Michael Noble
on Jun 19, 2012 @ 01:06 EST5EDT