MasterChef – Things that don’t belong in risotto

When I was a kid, one of the comfort foods my mother made on a chilly morning before school was rice and raisins. Basically, it was rice (duh!), raisins (duh!), a little butter, sugar and condensed milk. I’ve since expounded on that recipe with various nuts, fruits and brown sugar, but it’s still a comforting breakfast dish I pull out of my hat every once in a while.

My point is this: Unbeknownst to me, it was a “kiddie version” of risotto in a manner of speaking … and the only one I’ve ever known to contain fruit.

Segue to last night’s MasterChef: Pistachio? Cranberry? Gooseberry? Cherry? I love all those things, but even I know none of them belong in a risotto. Something Tali Clavijo didn’t, however. (To be fair, he did state he’s never cooked risotto before, but he did know what it was and where it belongs in the scheme of a meal.) Despite the hideous idea of those ingredients in his dish, somehow there was another worse off … and Tali skated through by the skin of his teeth.

Joining him in the worst risottos cooked were David Mack (yay!) and Helene Leeds. Personally, I would have rather seen Helene get the boot in the end for undercooked rice and (per Joe Bastianich) scallops that were “a joke.” But it was David and his unwashed mushrooms (and the blatant fact Joe spit out his dish in front of him) which was the downfall.

But before all the risotto monkey business, there was the mystery box challenge with the main ingredient a duck breast. This was an interesting opening challenge as one of the contestants would be eliminated straight away based on the dish they created … or, rather, “fowled” up. And while this was a pretty cut and dried challenge — a straight away preparation of a pretty simple protein with whatever flair a contestant decided to put on it (such as Felix’ Chinese 5 spice seared duck breast with eggplant and sweet potato chips which was rather nifty) — three hopefuls were called out right away for their dishes … but for all the wrong reasons. Turns out they were the worst three of the challenge.

Now … my joy shot through the roof when Ryan Umane (who I abhor) strutted up to the front of the class with his dish along with Scott Little and Samantha De Silva. That joy ramped up even further when Scott was removed from the chopping block to leave Ryan and Samantha alone with their travesties. Then the fun began: Ryan began groveling and pleading for his life. It was sad and humiliating. Not only is he one of the worst sort of cocky asshats, but he’s a big, fat whiner as well who is more than willing to throw anyone he thinks can usurp him underneath an oncoming bus. I do not like the guy. Actually, my dislike for him is much deeper, but I’ll reserve it for additional shenanigans the dude will no doubt reveal. Sadly, Samantha and her raw duck “won” the day and she was ousted instead of Whiny Boy Ryan.

Spiffy little beginning to MasterChef with some nice drama thrown in to spice things up. Next week we get to see everyone in a group challenge. That should up the ante …

Notes:

• Whenever I see Helene from this point forward (and I doubt she’ll be around much longer), the Ohio Players’ “Fire” will be playing in the recesses of my mind.
• We saw a little preview of drama where Christine was concerned on next week’s preview. I’m definitely interested in that.
• I certainly hope every caught the various clues when it came to preparation: No cute food baskets, wash your vegetables and other item thoroughly, don’t laugh at misfortunes such as things catching fire, for Pete’s sake cook your food, don’t mix weird ingredients, etc.

Quotes:

“This is bad on so many levels it’s kind of hard to explain …” — Joe to Samantha on her raw pan seared duck breast

“A little too sandy for me. Big mistake.” — Joe spewing sarcasm at David on his mushroom risotto as he spit it out in front of him

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Clacked by Michael Noble
on Jun 13, 2012 @ 12:36 EST5EDT