The Celebrity Apprentice and the dirty half dozen

Here’s my boy, Clay Aiken. He’s done so well on The Celebrity Apprentice thus far. I’m like a proud Claymate. Except … I know Clay’s not exactly wild about that term for his followers. So I’ll just call myself a supporter. Wait. That sounds kinda smutty. And I hate the term “fan,” because that makes me appear like I think he’s better than me and I should worship him and all. You know, as in wait for his every tweet and hang out backstage hoping for the chance to pull out a hunk of his hair.

I only feel that way about one man. And one alone. My Gordon Ramsay.

So, let’s just suffice it to say that I dig Clay and leave it at that.

I’ve mentioned before that Clay always seems to keep his head during this whirlwind show. Yes, he did get a might ruffled at Penn on a couple of occasions, but not without due cause. For the most part, Clay has been adept at sailing through the tasks, contributing his strengths as well as downplaying and going under the radar when he can see that other folks are shooting their own selves in their own tootsies.

However, we all have our breaking point. (For me, it’s the added excitement of reviewing this show while my husband turns to the hockey playoffs during each commercial, making me wonder in angst if I’m going to miss the beginning of the next segment even though I’ve told him I can go watch it in the other room thank you very much there honey.)

And for Clay (and obviously yet again Lisa “Crazyhorse” Lampanelli), that collective straw was in the (yeah beautiful, so what?) personage of Dayana Mendoza.

If you’ve read my past reviews, you know that it’s been way beyond me how this chick has survived so long without being fired. (Until tonight, geez Donald it took you long enough.) I finally realized that her strategy was simply the one that truly lovely girls everywhere employ.

“I’m not listened to or respected.”

I’m tellin’ ya. I tried to keep “track” (and no Dayana that word does not rhyme with the word “man”) of how many times Dayana whined out that phrase and I simply lost interest … I mean count! I lost count! Lisa’s right … she is the female Lou Ferrigno. Only instead of saying “I gave a hundred and ten percent,” she’s adopted the no respect angle.

In a nutshell? I was kinda surprised Dayana’s team lost, if you want the truth. Their jingle was better, the performance was markedly superior and organized … I just didn’t understand the executives for Good Sam on this one. Unless it was purely about brand messaging. So in that case, if a team puts on T-shirts and hands out pamphlets and writes your company name on their arms … they win? Um. Okay.

At least since Dayana’s gone though, we won’t have to see any more boardrooms of twenty odd minutes of her and Lisa going for each other’s jugular. Round and round. Good Golly. We’ve been a witness at least five times, and I’m glad the Big T finally put us out of our misery. I was starting to feel like Child Protective Services should be intervening on our behalf.

Or as my sister says, “This was the same party, but I was wearing a different dress.”

Enough already.

Other Thoughts I Had This Week:

A.  I’m sorry. I know Dayana just learned English a few years ago, but I had to chortle about how stunningly dumb she sounded when she asked the band if they could play things “with a little more pink and yellow.”

B. Aubrey. Don’t you wish she’d get a dose of reality and shut up? She’s not that great. Not as great as she tells us she is, anyway. The cheerleading idea was ridiculous, and not what the executives wanted. The jingle she wrote? The only reason it stood out in the executive’s mind was that it was repetitive to the mundanely extreme.

C. I’d be worried about Arsenio’s blind trust in Aubrey, if I believed a word that comes out of his mouth. I don’t. He’s a cagey one. There’s a smirk behind the smile. There’s a method to his madness. Frankly? He scares me a lil bit.

What did you think of this week’s show? Are you overjoyed that Dayana is gone? Did the right team win?

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Apr 30, 2012 @ 09:00 EST5EDT