Michael: Well! Here we are … back to the land of make believe … as in “let’s believe this is a ‘must-have’ product.”
Again, I ask you: Who comes up with this stuff?
Tara: I kind of want one. Which I know you’re going to give me heat for. But there’s nothing worse than constantly pulling down on your shirt so it won’t ride up when you wear low waisted pants. I’ve got a couple of pairs of those jeans (do not judge me) and I think the Trendy Top is … nifty.
Michael: Hey … whatever trips your trigger. But, you’re going to wear the jeans, … then whine about them because there’s too much exposure? To wit: “Love those low-rise jeans? But hate when you’re bottom is seen?” As far as I’m concerned you can’t have it both ways. This is just one more incomprehensible thing to me when it comes to women and clothing. Which leads me to ask: What is the point of low-rise jeans anyway?
Tara: Coming from someone who’s idea of fashion is cargo shorts in Winter.
Michael: Hey … it’s not about fashion. Sometimes freedom is key. I’m not complaining if I’m wearing shorts and snow blowing. It’s a choice
But let’s not get off point here. “Protect your ‘rear view’ and hide those sides.” That’s what they proclaim in the video. I have a better idea: Put on jeans that fit and don’t show off what color underwear you have on.
Tara: But low rise jeans are cute! Are you trying to make me believe you’ve never (yes I used that dreaded word) appreciated a pair of them on some shapely female before? ‘Cause you’d be lyin’. Ten-to-one odds, you’d be lyin’.
Michael: Then call me a liar, because I can honestly state I haven’t witnessed glimpsed someone in low-rise jeans and said to myself “You know? I really appreciate the fact that girl wore low-rise jeans today.” You will never get me to admit that … because it just hasn’t happened.
And I don’t understand the handspring part of this commercial. I get they’re illustrating the Trendy Top stays in place, but I’d be willing to bet cash money no one – no one – is going to be doing handsprings while wearing one of these things.
Tara: That is silly. If you’re a chick over the age of thirteen? You don’t perform another handspring your whole life. I mean, unless you become a professional gymnast, of course. And how many of those do you know?
Michael: One. And I asked: She doesn’t own a Trendy Top.
And another thing: Isn’t this thing a misnomer? “Trendy Top.” It doesn’t cover your top … it covers your bottom! Seriously: Isn’t it simply a misplaced tube top?
Tara: I suppose you could call it such. But nobody (who has taste) really wears tube tops anymore. So you could argue that they’ve simply put a spin on it. And! Did you see the added bonus of it holding in belly protrude-ishness? Maybe they should have called it “Trendy Torso.”
I’m not thinking it’s this product that’s yanking your chain so much as the choice to don a pair of low risers. Maybe you should get over them, because I was out shopping the other day and they’re all over the stores. I don’t think the trend is disappearing anytime soon.
Michael: Oh … I’m not concerned with the trend. I’m mocking the fact the infomercial clearly calls out “Love those low-rise jeans? But hate when you’re bottom is seen?” Like I said, it’s one or there other … or $17.95 on top of the price you paid for your low-risers. The logic simply escapes me.
Tara: Men! *rolls eyes* Look. I know you’ve heard the term “making a sacrifice for fashion.” This is a perfect example. If we want to look a certain way, sometimes we have to invest in other doo hickies to accessorize and make that happen.
Besides? You get four for the price of two! It’s a bargain. And heaven knows women dig a bargain.
You know? I’m thinking the Trendy Top people should add me on as their spokesperson for all I’ve defended them in this post.
Michael: You have been. Do you have stock in Trendy Top?
Tara: I wish. It’s probably really cheap to make and I bet it’s the wave of the freaking future.
Clacked by Michael Noble 
on Mar 30, 2012 @ 08:11 EST5EDT
If there’s muffin top it means the pants don’t fit. Either get in the gym and lay off the double Quarter Pounders or wear jeans that rise above the crack.
That bandage isn’t going to keep the pants up on the tuchus. It will roll up or down depending on where the wearer carries the most weight. Then where will they be? Instead of just fending off the offending low rise dipping lower they will be struggling to keep that displaced tube top in place.
**whew**
These make me of the line by Dolly Parton in “Steel Magnolias”…”Well, these thighs haven’t gone out of the house without lycra on them since I was 14.”
How many great lines did “Steel Magnolias” contain, I ask you?
The answer is many. Many.
And Marissa? That’s quite a word picture you’ve created. Your woman in my mind definitely should not be thinking about low riders to begin with, methinks.
No one who could wear these things without rolling them really needs to be wearing them. Okay, I understand the 40 year old who has always had a body to brag about wanting something to do what her stomach muscles no longer can do. But these products target the wannabees, not the once-coulds. It’s a mind game, and anything that promises to control the uncontrolled must be tried.
I remember the days of lycra from knees to chest, and it wasn’t pretty. I had a female boss who layered the lycra until you could bounce a quarter off any part of her torso. She is the person this ad wants to suck in. When she went on an airplane, she still had to have an extender on the seat belt, but she thought she was chic and fashionable because lycra controlled the jiggle.
Tara, you have a right to wear whatever makes you feel good, and wear it in complete freedom to reflect your own style. But there are very few who look better in low rise and a whole lot who look much worse. Low rise jeans were designed for the same models who originally convinced the world that bikinis or thongs were attractive. Never having even shopped in the same store as anyone that size, I pass on the entire trend.
Well … alrighty then.
So after all that does anyone know if they actually work?
*POST AUTHOR*
. . . . .
ahutch:
Of course it works. Didn’t you see the back-flippin’ gal in the video above?
I was going to do a test run on it … but Tara wouldn’t let me.
And that was probably a wise thing …
I’m not sure I was right in stopping you from doing that test run. Could have gone viral …
Trendy Top To The Rescue!
https://i708.photobucket.com/albums/ww81/8030split/TrendyTopToTheRescue.jpg
Bob. That girl needs to layer about fifteen Trendy Tops.