2 Broke Girls, Two and a Half Men, and six random thoughts about television

Ah, the “random thoughts” column. The go-to angle for lazy writers and writers infested with ADD (which pretty much describes everybody these days). Let’s get right to it!

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I don’t watch Unforgettable (I keep forgetting to watch it — ha! humor), but adding Jane Curtin is an interesting bit of casting. It would be even better if she played her Allie Lowell (sorry, Allie Barsky now) character from Kate & Allie. The show is set in NYC, right? Maybe the plot could be that her kids are adults now and on their own, Kate finally married Ted, so Allie went back to school (again) and got a degree in forensics. And since both are CBS shows they can have a few flashbacks to her previous show!

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It’s weird to remember that the “MS” in MSNBC stands for Microsoft. Seems like a weird relic from the days when Soledad O’Brien hosted a show where you talked to a computerized guy in a coffee show. Shouldn’t the network change their name to NBC News Channel or something similar? Or maybe they want to keep the brand completely separate from the network because of the way they lean.

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Here’s a commercial I hate:

This is irritating on many levels. First, even the people who made the ad know it’s a shaky argument to begin with, so they have to come up with some ridiculous scenario that would never happen in real life. So not only is this guy SUCH a Luddite that he still uses one of those pens that are sooooo 20th century, the pen actually leaks so everyone can see the stain and know what a doofus the guy is.

I’ve been using pens for almost half a century and that has never, ever happened to me. But they have to have a slapstick visual to sell the spot, but it’s that same visual that shows how stupid the argument is. Let’s see how all of these tech geniuses would do if we took all of their pens away forever. Actually, they’re laughing at the guy so they already must not use pens. Must be hard to sign for things.

Yeah, the guy is such a Luddite! That’s why he has a smartphone where he can order anything in the world instantly.

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I always get a little hollow feeling in my heart when I see that my favorite late night talk show is in repeats for the week or if it’s a new episode but there are really lousy guests. But here’s a solution: go to YouTube and put together your own talk show episode! Kim Kardashian and LMFAO are the guests on Letterman? No problem, here’s a clip of Amy Sedaris from 2006 and here’s Marshall Crenshaw from 1991! And if you miss the commercial breaks, you can find watch some ads too.

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I love Let’s Make A Deal, but there’s something about it that doesn’t make sense. No, it’s completely normal for people to dress like vegetables and jump up and down. I’m talking about the part of the show where a contestant takes the money instead of picking another number or box for the big prize. Now, I admire this, because I think too many people go for the big prize when they should take their cash and run back to their seat. But the part I don’t understand is when Wayne Brady asks them what they would have chosen had they continued on with the game instead of quitting.

This makes no sense. How do they really know that’s what they would have picked if they had continued. It would have been a few minutes later, the audience would have been yelling suggestions, and their mindset would have been completely different. They probably would have picked another number or box, so it’s a silly exercise that means nothing.

And while we’re at it, why do the contestants even ask the audience what random number or box to pick? Does the audience know something the contestants don’t know? It’s random, it doesn’t matter what the audience says, just pick a box! (/rant).

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Monday nights from 8:30 to 9:30 on CBS might be the most vile hour of television currently on the air (and yes, I’m including The Jersey Shore and Nancy Grace). Neither show really has any ideas so they just go to the penis, vagina, vomit, yeast infection, bowel movement, and lesbian jokes. On the Charlie Sheen-era Two and a Half Men, which now seems like Thurber in retrospect, there was some real humor, and it all made sense since we had the Charlie Harper character. Now it just seems like they’re making unlikable, gross characters do and say despicable things, and boom, there’s your episode for the week.

2 Broke Girls is even worse, since the sex jokes don’t even seem to mesh with the plots the show has, they’re just included because it’s … hip? Edgy? A way to ease viewers into Two and a Half Men at 9PM? I don’t know either, but the writing room on that show must be a humid, sad place. And it’s too bad because the show had so much real potential — an Odd Couple for the 21st century! — but then it quickly degraded into gutter humor and some of the most offensive, cliched characters you’ll see on a TV show.

I don’t pay anything to watch 2 Broke Girls but I still want my money back.

TOPICS FOR DISCUSSION THIS WEEK

1. If you dressed up for Let’s Make A Deal, what would you dress up as? And does this indicate some deep problem you might have?

2. How should Two and a Half Men end if this is the last season? Should Charlie Harper be still alive and he comes back and kills everyone and finally lives in the house all alone?

3. Do you still use pens?

Clacked by Bob Sassone
on Mar 28, 2012 @ 15:55 EST5EDT