What a weird, wonderful, bizarre and jaw-dropping episode of Survivor! Where do I start? I guess it’s just easiest to say that karma truly is a bitch.
Things got off to a really nasty start as the Manono tribe returned from voting Monica out, and Colton and Alicia — truly two of the most unpleasant people to ever play the game (even more-so than Russell, because he could at least try to charm people) — decided to revel in the blindside, and giddily harass Christina by rubbing their success in her face, telling her she’s nothing but a cockroach, refusing to give her room to sleep … it really was one of the worst demonstrations of being a bad winner and poor sportsmanship that I’ve ever seen on the show. Kudos to Christina for not giving them the satisfaction of breaking down in tears, because I was so furious by the behavior that I wanted to throw a shoe at my TV! I do find it pretty interesting that the new object of Colton’s hatred is the other minority on his tribe. Coincidence?
At the reward challenge — a trip to the Survivor ice cream parlor was the prize — it sure seemed to me that Christina was not trying. I loved that Jeff called Alicia worthless after several tries at throwing a coconut onto a net trampoline to try to break a target. Seeing that poor performance (and Colton didn’t do any better, having a coconut actually come back in his direction), if I was Christina I would have tried harder to score a few points … but that didn’t work out so well for Monica, so she was probably better off not giving her worthless tribe members the satisfaction of winning ice cream and then voting her out.
Knowing she was on the chopping block, Christina started working Jonas and Leif to vote against Alicia … while Alicia was standing right behind her. Let’s just say that did not go over well. Then, karma came a-callin’ as Colton woke up with a pounding headache (which Christina tried to soothe, and they both knew it was a strategic move), then a pain in his abdomen that got worse throughout the day. Colton slunk off into the jungle like a wounded animal hoping no one would see him curled up in a ball — and how long would the camera crew have left him there before someone from his tribe showed up? — and Christina again came to his rescue.
Suddenly Jeff and the medical team arrived to give Colton an exam, and after pressing on his abdomen (she really should have punched him) and making his heart rate double, the doctor made the determination that Colton had to be removed from the game! Oh, happy day! But, Colton, what on earth will you do with your hidden immunity idol? Give it to your new ally Alicia, because she would be the most in danger without your protection? Take pity on Christina for being such a bastard to her? Give it to Tarzan … who would probably forget that he even had it? Or keep it as a souvenir? Yeah, you guessed it, Colton kept the hidden immunity idol for himself. Because, you know, as a Republican he doesn’t like handouts (and that was his quote a couple of weeks ago, I’m not making a political slam). Let’s just say Alicia was less than pleased because she knew if Manono lost the next challenge, she would be going home (although she has Tarzan so bamboozled that he was trying to sway Leif not to vote her out while Jonas tried to assume leadership).
And then things took another crazy turn as there was no challenge and both tribes met Jeff at Tribal Council. Salani was briefed on Colton’s medical evacuation (he apparently had acute appendicitis and had to have emergency surgery), some players mentioned their own bouts with appendicitis, Kat proved how clueless she is by not even knowing what appendicitis is, and Alicia delivered Colton’s message to Sabrina regarding the idol … which only threw the Salani tribe into a tizzy because they didn’t believe that he really did keep it. And then Jeff dropped another bombshell … Salani and Manono are no more. One World is back. The tribes have merged! Six men and six women are going back to where they started. It’s going to be real interesting to see if the original tribes regroup as men against women or if the new tribal alliances will stand. Of course, as much as we all hate Colton, the most interesting personality in the game is now gone, leaving us with a bunch of interchangeable players, one total bitch (Alicia) and one nut (Tarzan) … both of whom can not be gone soon enough for my taste. Tarzan is useless and Alicia is a trouble-maker and neither of them deserve to get anywhere near jury, much less the finale.
But I do worry now that what had been a pretty gripping season, mainly because of Colton’s antics, will rapidly descend into mediocrity. On the other hand, I’m so relieved that Colton is gone that I almost don’t care.
“Tell Sabrina I said thanks for the souvenir.” — Colton to his tribe before he was airlifted off the island
Clacked by Chuck Duncan 
on Mar 21, 2012 @ 22:52 EST5EDT
I love the karma comment about Colton. Soooo happy he’s gone. Such a douche to the end, not giving the idol to someone who could actually benefit from it. Hope it fits into the color scheme and motif of his mantel.
Here’s the thing, best thing to happen to this season, ever. The men who were under the bus when the misfits gained control have a new sense of security with the tribe mix up. The women under Alicia’s control have new alliances. Christina has a chance because she has no alliance with her current tribe. If the women are smart, they have the opportunity to control the votes for awhile. The men are so much more fractured.
I’m glad Colton is gone, because with him around, the show would have been so predictable. He wouldn’t have won, but he was likely to go to the end, and have been in complete control of who went to the end.
So now, it’s completely unpredictable who will try to take power, and whether they will be successful. I’m excited to see the dynamic that unfolds in the next couple of episodes. It’s been awhile since the game has been this intriguing.
*POST AUTHOR*
I’m kind of thinking it’s going to go back to men vs women, unless the four Salani member alliance sticks together but they have to do it in stealth mode. I have a feeling Jonas will try to talk to the other guys about getting rid of Alicia ASAP, and he knows they’d have Christina’s vote. But if Tarzan becomes a problem, as it seems in the preview, he could find himself booted out sooner rather than later. Colton’s removal from the game and the merger does put a whole new spin on things, but I’m still worried that with him gone, there really aren’t any compelling people to become engaged with. As much as I hate him, I wanted to see what he was going to do next. I do not have the same feelings toward Alicia. And the fact that all we saw in the preview for next week was Tarzan losing his temper worries me that they didn’t have enough good stuff to tease us with.
Watching Colton and Alicia bullying Christina was incredibly uncomfortable. The scene reminded me of middle/high school girls picking on another girl. Russell at least made an interesting villain and could find immunity idols by his wits. I respected him as a player until he insulted his nephew on live TV – Russell could’ve been more reserved with his words.
I’m glad Colton is gone as I don’t enjoy covering my eyes, ears or squirming in my chair as he laid such insults on Christina. I give her props for wanting him to feel better (though if she is like me – passive aggressive :) ) – she was hoping that something was wrong and he would be gone and with him Alicia would follow. Six more days for Christina.
Tarzan is a nut job! I’m not sure I would go see him for plastic surgery.
Ahahahahahahaha!
I was bursting out with laughter seeing Colten in pain. Alicia is a total mutt of a thing and I hope she slits he wrist.