This week’s episode of Modern Family, titled “Send Out the Clowns,” began with a very somber occasion: the funeral of Professor Ringmaster, as we learned about a part of Cam’s past that hadn’t come to light on the show yet. That’s right, ladies and germs. Cam used to be part of the infamous clown partnership known as Fizbo & Lewis, but he gave up his dreams of the dazzling limelight in order to become a family man.
Apparently it’s difficult maintaining a balance between a relationship and a clown career (who knew?), so Cam put away the banana cream pies and seltzer bottles and hung up his oversized clown pants the moment he knew he was smitten with Mitchell. It took the death of his long-time mentor at the clown college for Cam to “put the seltzer under the bridge” long enough to reunite the duo that once “had an unspoken language and could finish each other’s balloon animals.”
Cam: “For several years, I was one-half of the renowned clown duo Fizbo & Lewis. We were huge.”
Mitchell: “In children’s parties.”
Cam: “Anyway, I disbanded the group shortly after I met Mitchell. It’s hard to have a relationship and a clown career. That’s the reason there are so many single clowns.”
Mitchell: “Just one of the reasons.”
Cam: “Anyway, Lewis hasn’t spoken to me since. He’s still bitter, and I don’t blame him. It’s kind of like I broke up the Beatles.”
Mitchell: “Of children’s parties.”
I haven’t seen a funnier clown funeral since the classic episode of The Mary Tyler Moore Show, titled “Chuckles Bites the Dust.” The episode featured Mary repressing her laughter all week-long as the rest of the news gang cracks jokes about the untimely demise of Chuckles the Clown, who was killed by a rogue elephant during a parade. Mary’s laughter finally emerges during the clown’s eulogy, much to her surprise and embarrassment. Watching Mitchell try to suppress his laughter as the clowns each paid tribute to Professor Ringmaster in their own way was television déjà vu at its finest.
Seeing all of the clowns cram into a small-sized car for a night on-the-town was also priceless. Guest-starring Bobby Cannavale as Lewis, Fizbo & Lewis were finally reunited (they said it would never happen!), and it felt so good. I always knew Cam had a hilarious alter-ego just waiting to be drawn out. And would you expect Cam to have anything less than a fabulously over-the-top clown name such as Fizbo? A common, boring name like Frank the Clown would just never do.
Thanks to this week’s Modern Family, I also now know what it takes to make a grown man fake-cry. According to Phil and Luke, all it takes is the knowledge that “the Three Stooges are all dead.” I was about to find this a tad clichéd, but then my boyfriend, who was next to me on the couch, exclaimed, “Aww, that is sad … but the new movie about them comes out soon!” Then he proceeded to re-show me the movie trailer and gush like a schoolboy about Curly. And there you have it, folks. You can cue the circus theme music that’s been running through my head any minute now.
Other stand-out quotes from the episode:
Luke (about his mom signing up for Facebook): “Social networking or social not-working?”
Claire: “Oh, you know what we gotta do? We gotta get a picture of us all together on a boat. I think that’s a thing now. So, what do you say? Accept my friend ‘thingy.’”
Alex: “Sorry, mom. I didn’t get a friend ‘thingy’ from you.”
Haley: “Yeah, you know they have a lot of blocks on there to protect kids from weirdos.”
Claire: “Mmm … okay. Good, good, I’ll send it again.”
Alex: “Great, please do.”
Alex: (To the camera): “Please don’t.”
Haley: “We got her friend request the first time but ignored it. I can’t have her on there snooping around, seeing what I’m doing at parties.”
Alex: “Or posting pictures of us from family vacations wearing old, dorky clothes.”
Phil: “I’m like a boxer before the big fight. That’s why I didn’t have sex with Claire last night. Sorry, honey. But as soon as I get this listing, ‘ding.’”
Manny: “…the librarian told me one day I’ll be a great catch.”
Phil: “Mitzy Roth, a notorious poacher in the world of high-end residential real estate. We call her the Nightmare on Elm Street because she sold a lot of houses on Elm Street.”
Lewis: “Good to see you too, Chuckleberry. Look at that, your oversize pants are starting to fit.”
Cam: “I am a clown. It’s who I am. If you squeeze me, do I not honk?”
Claire (referencing Facebook): “Okay, you two are deliberately not confirming me. Everybody else has accepted my friend requests: your father, Uncle Mitchell, Adele. That’s right, Adele has agreed to be my friend and my own daughters haven’t.”
Luke: “I was fake-crying before I could walk. How do you think I got out of eating all those salads?”
Clacked by Kim Tibbs
on Mar 15, 2012 @ 15:45 EST5EDT
. . . . .
Thanks, Kim. When I saw this on the mainpage, I about had a heart attack.
*POST AUTHOR*
Do you have a phobia of clowns? lol
I had to go look up Eric Stonestreet after this episode. I discovered that he actually performed as an auguste clown named Fizbo when he was younger. So that part actually is a little of fiction imitating reality. Interesting, no?
*POST AUTHOR*
I didn’t know that…no wonder he looked so comfortable as his clown character! That is interesting…I love the name Fizbo! Thanks for sharing that :)