It’s that time of year again … time for a fresh crop of unknown “celebrities” to gear up and vie for the ultimate in useless prizes: the title of Donald Trump’s Celebrity Apprentice.
I know I say this every year, but this season’s cast truly is a who’s who of “Who?” Let’s meet the un-famous contestants!
Adam Carolla is best known — by me — as the voice of Death on Family Guy (not that I knew that before right now). Aside from that, word has it that he’s one of the creative minds behind both Jimmy Kimmel Live! and The Man Show … I suppose it’s fair for a behind-the-scenes guy to be an unknown entity. Still, “celebrity?”
I do, of course, know Arsenio Hall. However, as much as I “know” him from The Arsenio Hall Show, my real familiarity with the comedian comes from Coming to America. No matter which of his four personas in that movie was your favorite, I can guarantee that Arsenio will bring some of his multi-face skills to this game.
As an original member of Danity Kane, Aubrey O’Day is a quasi-known entity, so I suppose it would be unfair to label her merely as window dressing. But why does Donald Trump insist on stocking his show with women he can ogle in the boardroom? I’m rooting for Aubrey to be a force to be reckoned with; we’ll need that to balance out the countless interactions between her and Trump that’ll leave us feeling like we need to take a shower to de-slime.
Cheryl Tiegs has the potential to be this season’s “Gee, isn’t it a shame he/she had to stoop to this?” contestant. The former supermodel has a name recognized the world over, and she’s been gracing the cover of magazines for years. Isn’t it a shame she had to stoop to this?
Or maybe that’ll be Clay Aiken. American Idol’s season two runner-up was a giant sensation for a few months … then his extended fifteen minutes ended and he took it upon himself to make sure we never went long without discussing him. Now he’s competing on The Celebrity Apprentice … altogether now: Isn’t it a shame he had to stoop to this?
Miss Universe 2008, Dayana Mendoza, will be competing with Aubrey O’Day for this season’s most objectified contestant. Does Trump, owner of The Miss Universe Organization, get a two-for-one deal by casting one of his former contestants?
Debbie Gibson is an old and established name in the music business, whose name hasn’t been on many lips of late. She joins fellow legend Cyndi Lauper, who competed on the show a few seasons back, in that category. Will Gibson be as … interesting as Lauper? Cyndi did set the bar pretty high.
Dee Snider, lead singer of Twisted Sister, has already appeared on Celebrity Apprentice, when John Rich brought him in to star in a 7-Up commercial. Will Snider be this season’s Meat Loaf, a temperamental, old-timer one-time star? God I hope not.
George Takei will be appearing. That’s right, that George Takei. Okay….
Comedian Lisa Lampanelli will hopefully bring the funny. Keep in mind that we’ve seen the show make this play before to middling levels of success. Anybody remember the year of Tom Green, Andrew Dice Clay, and Mama Rivers? Maybe Ms. Lampanelli will set a new, positive standard for the show.
I’m surprised Lou Ferrigno agrees to do this stuff, after everything he’s appeared on as “Himself” — The King of Queens and I Love You, Man immediately spring to mind. Is he trying to make sure we always remember him … or that we forget that he ever played The Hulk?
Michael Andretti, former Formula One driver and owner of Andretti Autosport, looks to be this season’s athlete (of sorts, but let’s not get into that). After Lennox Lewis, Tito Ortiz, Herschel Walker, Natalie Gulbis, Goldberg, and Summer Sanders, let’s just say he’s got a lot to live up to … and also the potential to be as great as they were!
Fans of Arrested Development (yes, both of you!) will recognize Patricia Velasquez as Gob’s season one girlfriend Marta Estrella, star of Spanish language soap “El Amor Prohibido.” I’m hoping for a surprise ala Brande Roderick.
Paul Teutul, Sr. can usually be found riding a motorcycle on American Chopper. Interesting choice in the “already a reality TV staple” category. Prediction: Teutul will either be phenomenal at this game, or he’ll be an early round bust. There will be no middle ground with this contestant.
Penn Jillette is the non-mute half of the world famous Penn & Teller. I’m kind of surprised that a guy who’s regularly doing sold-out shows in Vegas would book this gig … ostensibly it’s all about the charity, but we all know that “celebrities” come here to up their Q Quotient. On a separate topic, I think Teller might have made a more intriguing addition to this year’s cast.
NeNe Leakes was a real housewife of Atlanta; introducing Teresa Giudice, real housewife of New Jersey. I’m gonna guess same objectionable personality, worse accent. Here’s hoping Teresa’s not quite as weepy.
Ah Cassandra Wong, Wayne Campbell’s lady love. It’s been a long time since I’ve heard either of those names … apparently Tia Carrere, who played Cassandra in Wayne’s World, is back to correct that oversight. Rock on Wayne!
Everyone loves someone who’s famous for being the offspring of a convicted mob boss … welcome, Victoria Gotti. May you have the ferocity of Vincent Pastore, without the first-hand knowledge that could inform such attitude.
Quite a motley crew. Who’s caught your eye from the get-go? Anyone you’re excited to see joining this year’s show? Don’t forget to tune in for the season premiere of The Celebrity Apprentice on Sunday night, February 19!
Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Feb 10, 2012 @ 12:00 EST5EDT
There are some great celebs this season, but the problem is … Donald Trump. I just can’t watch anything that he’s associated with anymore.
I’m totally excited to see Dee Snider, Adam Carolla and Clay Aiken. You’re dismissive but these three will be a hoot to watch. Love them.
*POST AUTHOR*
Whoa, who’s dismissing them? They’ll all be hilarious … I’m just discounting their “celebrity.” :-)
I am thinking I am going to love this season. There are some volatile personalities and a few edgy comedians who will push their buttons..I think there will be alot of screaming!! Can’t wait!
The cast list of CA for the past couple seasons consistently impressed and impresses me me. Trump recently started casting stars I find interesting and view as intelligent. But, each season, the stars whose careers I respected, I found myself disappointed in the most as the show progressed. It’s almost as if the show pulls the worst out of everyone.
*POST AUTHOR*
Oh, An…. :)
From reading this I assume the only one you like is George Takei…it was also the shortest sentence.Unless you actually know these people personnally or have taken the time to check and see what they have done lately in their careers (which it is quite obvious you haven’t done), then maybe you should write about people you actually know.Just because they’re not in the Enquirer or on TMZ doesn’t mean they aren’t working on their careers.
Seems like a fun cast, I hope they all raise lots of money for their charities. You did know this was to raise money for charity…right?
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