Another television week, and another list of some of the best quotes. It is no secret that someone on our staff is a big fan of The Voice, so the myriad quotes from Blake Shelton and Adam Levine as they do the talk show circuit should come as no surprise. The list kicks off, however, with a little Gossip Girl love, in celebration of their 100th episode that aired this week.
Gossip Girl (Review)
“I can’t stop the feeling that I’ve forgotten something […] I just cannot put my finger on it.” – Eleanor
“I’m sure it’s alright. I mean you never forget anything! It’s one of your best … [Glance from Harold] and worst qualities.” – Cyrus
“Mrs. Grimaldi? What is going on … is this really happening?” – Blair
“Well it better be, otherwise all those commemorative plates are for nothing.” – Serena
“Maybe that’s my issue: paying to much attention to the wrong girls and not enough to the right ones.” – Nate
“Well, if we’re listing our issues, I’m not sure I’d start with that one.” – Dan
“I saw how you were looking at him this morning. Back in high school he always had the same look in his eyes whenever you would walk by: like he was starving and you were a tasting menu.” – Blair
“All day long I have had this feeling I had forgotten something, and then I realized what it was. You! So are you coming to stop this thing or what?” – Eleanor to Chuck
House (Review)
“One of us is in the wrong time zone, and if it’s me I need to talk to a stockbroker and anyone from the Kennedy family, in that order.” — House to the confederate soldier reenactors
Justified (Review)
“I’m thinking about buying a house.” — Raylan
“What area?” — Pawn Shop Guy
“The greater Lexington area of Kiss My Ass.” — Raylan
Key & Peele
“I don’t drive because I smoke weed, and I don’t want to kill anyone.” — Jordan
“Jordan, you could always just stop smoking weed.” — Keegan
“I’m sorry, what’d you say? I’m high right now.” — Jordan
“I just want to say to my critics, I hear your voices and I’m aware of your concerns…” — President Obama
“…So maybe if you’d chill out for just a second, I could focus on some shit.” — Luther, President Obama’s Anger Translator
New Girl (Review)
“Ah! Damp towel! Damp! It’s like a really big wet nap! I feel like I’m being licked by a Golden Retriever! Look at this bathroom: There should not be two girls in this bathroom. You’re too humid. You make everything damp …” — Schmidt complaining to Jess and Julia having just gotten out of the shower
“80% of the products in here are yours …” — Jess
“Blah, blah, blah, yawn, yes … I use sculpting chutney … and once I’m done with my chutney, back in the row it goes … the hair everywhere, the multi-color rubber bands, I’m fine with it. It’s all okay with me … but a damp towel is where I draw the line …” — Schmidt
“Hey, Nick! Want to hang out in your room?” — Julia
“Jess if you’ll excuse us … Julia is about to be very disappointed.” — Nick
“This lesbian community you speak of: Do they look more like this one [motions to Cece] … or kind of Nick-ish?” — Schmidt
“You are Jewish.” — Jess to Schmidt who is in need of a towel
“Schmidt’s like Ellis Island in the 1800’s. He accepts everyone.” — Jess
“Okay, so far Nick Miller’s list of fears is: sharks, tap water, and real relationships.” — Jess
“And blueberries.” — Nick
Being Human (Review)
“I’m not trying to be a wet blanket, but the last person you dated was Rebecca. And that ended badly. With death. With lots of death.” — Josh
“When do we get to meet her? Or when does Josh get to meet her and I get to stand there and judge her silently?” — Sally
“When you say ‘enjoying each other’s company,’ that’s code for … tapping that ass, yes? Are we clear?” — Sally
“You are a classy lady.” — Aidan
“Ok, Dawson? Pacey? Forget about Joey and get your A-games on.” — Sally to Aiden and Josh
30 Rock (Review)
“Kenneth! Just move!” – Jenna, to a full recycling bin
“Getting paid to help a boy become a man? It’s kind of my wheelhouse.” – Jenna, on being paid to appear at a Bar Mitzvah
“Going mano a mano against a real adversary — me. It’s the ultimate game. Jack Donaghy … playing with himself. It’s a Jack off!” – Jack
“No one has ever won a land war in Russia: not Napoleon, not Hitler, not even Balki in the unaired ninth season of Perfect Strangers.” – Jack
“Everyone expects me to dance with a girl today and I don’t know about girls. I mean, I’ve played this Japanese video game where you slap prostitutes to death, but you only dance with this penguin.” – Adam
“You didn’t realize emotion could be a weapon? Have you not read the poetry of Jewel?” – Liz
Vampire Diaries (Review)
“Parents aren’t supposed to outlive their kids, Caroline … this is life, this is what it means to be human.” — Bill Forbes
The Tonight Show
“Have they even driven by the Super Bowl?” — Jay Leno on the Arizona Cardinals
“It’s me and Adam [Levine]. We don’t know how to fight.” — Blake Shelton on The Voice‘s Super Bowl commercial
Parks and Rec
“Tom, this is a publicly funded couple’s dance. I don’t think it’s appropriate for people to be getting ‘wet with sound’.” – Chris
The Big Bang Theory (More Quotes)
“Well if Amy’s too busy, it gives the rest of you an opportunity to make my life easier, thus assuring yourself a footnote in my memoires, tentatively entitled, ‘You’re Welcome, Mankind.’” – Sheldon
“Since when don’t you knock? It’s like the only good thing about you.” – Leonard
“Social niceties have been suspended Leonard; we’re in a state of emergency. The world has descended into darkened turmoil, lawlessness and savagery are the order of the day.” – Sheldon
“Fine, what is it?” — Leonard
“I’m making s’mores.” – Sheldon
Supernatural (Review)
“You do that, I’ll go undercover, go mingle amongst the locals, and see what kind of clues will bubble to the surface.” — Dean
“You’re going to a bar.” — Sam
“Wow. If you want to oversimplify it.” — Dean
“Wherever did you get it?” — Professor, referring to the ancient Greek papyrus
“Uh, er … a crazy, drunk, old genius.” — Sam, referring to Bobby
“Yeah, they always have the good stuff.” — Professor
“You’re just as screwed up as I am … you’re just … bigger.” — Dean
“What?!” — Sam
“I don’t know … ” – Dean
“It was banjo.” — Blake Shelton, telling teammate Adam Levine what the word was after losing a game of Guesstures
“You’re from the country. Banjos are common there!” — Adam
“Women with long, straight, blond hair are considered narrow-minded.” — Yale University psychologist Marianne LaFrance (I’m not going to thrown the person that shared this quote under the bus by pointing them out … Oh wait … oops!)
Clacked by Ivey West 
on Feb 05, 2012 @ 11:13 EST5EDT
