The worst thing I saw on TV in 2011

by Bob Sassone

There are a lot of terrible things on television, but one thing stood out last year.

I know it’s the start of February, but do you mind one more “end of 2011″ column?

I am so over lists. I used to do Top Ten TV Shows of the Year lists, and I understand their appeal, but I agree with Emily Nussbaum over at The New Yorker. Not only are lists too geared towards what a critic “likes” and not really just about what is “best” (something that is inevitable), the list is immediately skewered towards what the critic actually watches. A TV critic can’t watch everything, unlike a movie critic who pretty much can see almost everything is released during the year, for the most part anyway. So “best” lists are usually “favorite” lists, with some universal “bests” thrown in and maybe a surprise or two (maybe). What does a list really say about TV anyway?

You could also say that lists in general have become way too commonplace on the web. Actually, you could have said this in 2007. It’s almost an easy way out for a writer or critic. I don’t want to take the time to actually go into detail about why something is good or bad, I’ll just make a list. Everybody loves lists! Yay!

Sigh.

But while I no longer do best and worst lists at the end of the year, I can point out the very best or the very worst thing I saw during the TV year. I can’t point out the very best thing — there were many — but I can easily pick the very worst thing I saw on TV in 2011. It’s something that isn’t just bad television, it’s bad for humanity, and may actually be unhealthy for you to watch.

I’m talking about the promos for CBS’ The Talk.

I’m not talking about the show itself, though The Talk itself is always inane and frequently horrifying. To paraphrase an old joke that has been paraphrased many times, The Talk makes The View cast look like The Algonquin Roundtable. I’ve seen less silly discussions on Romper Room.*

Remember that episode of Seinfeld where Kramer goes into convulsions just by hearing the sound of Mary Hart’s voice? That’s me with The Talk promos.

Making consistently bad promos probably isn’t the easiest thing to do. How can you be off-putting and annoying in 30 seconds? It helps that these promos run several times a day between the hours of 7am and 2pm, but even if they ran the promo once a day it would still be awful.

Bad jokes? Check. Annoying canned laughter? Check. Banter that makes you actually hate the hosts of the show even if you were previously prone to love them? Check. It hits every note badly. It’s like a quickie lesson on how not to do a TV promo, and it runs every … single … day.

The typical promo will have Julie Chen saying “Today on The Talk …” followed by a glimpse of the guest (CANNED LAUGHTER). Then we’ll see Aisha Tyler or Chen standing next to each other (CANNED LAUGHTER), making some awful pun about the guest or a segment about relationships on the show that day, some topic in the news, or their sex lives (CANNED LAUGHTER FOLLOWED BY THE HOSTS LAUGHING AT WHAT THEY JUST SAID IN A “BLOOPER” SORT OF WAY). Then Sharon Osboune comes on the screen and says “Today, on The Toooooooooooorlk.

It’s all supernaturally maddening.

I would love to say that Sara Gilbert is above all this, because she seems like the reasonable, calm one on the show, but I’ve seen no evidence that she’s above all of this. She’s even a creator and producer on the show, so it would be great if she stepped in and said “STOP THE INSANITY.”

I know, I know, I’m not the demographic for this show. I’m a male of a certain age so I’m not going to be the people that this show is designed for. But I also don’t believe that women are this stupid, but the show seems to believe they are. So the only thing I can do is jump for my remote when the promos for The Talk come on during Let’s Make a Deal and The Price is Right or learn to live with it, and since I don’t have reflexes that quick I have to watch these damn things.

And there it is, the worst thing(s) I saw on television last year. If the start of 2012 is any indication, it might be the worst thing this year too.

*I am old.

Photo Credit: CBS

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Clacked by Bob Sassone
on Feb 01, 2012 @ 14:51 EST5EDT

4 Responses to “The worst thing I saw on TV in 2011”

Ivey West

February 1, 2012 at 4:08 PM

See, it’s funny Bob. I specifically anchored my 10 Ten list over at CliqueClack Flicks on the idea of things that I like. I think it is a much better approach than a holier-than-thou film critic looking down his or her nose at popular cinema and talking about movies that most people have never heard of.

That way, I can have a list that has Columbiana and Ides of March next to each other. (https://cliqueclack.com/flicks/2011/12/31/favorite-films-of-2011/)

Plus, I think it is much more interesting for someone to tell me why they personally liked or disliked something instead of someone trying to tell me what was “the best.”