Raising Hope – No one wants to be dumber than a baby

It seems like it’s been forever since we last saw a new Raising Hope, but the time off didn’t diminsh the snappy writing and terrific acting. In the episode, Jimmy was worried that Hope would always be smarter than him, and the fact that Burt and Virgina have spent a lifetime bailing him out of academic challenges by way of the internet, doesn’t help matters. So Jimmy decides to go back to school to get his GED, but Burt and Virgina don’t want to be the dumb ones so they decide to join him. They all discovered that none of them had the brains for a wide range of subjects, but each of them did have their own specialty and came up with a clever way to earn that diploma — each one would put Jimmy’s name on the test in their area of expertise. It was a brilliant plan that ended a pretty brilliant episode that was filled with great dialogue. Enjoy!

“Burt, we got a word!” — Virginia, after Jimmy needs to know what a caper is
“Damn it. [Busts through red Solo cup wall and goes to computer] What’s the word?” — Burt
“Capers.” — Virginia
“C or K?” — Burt
“Try K. No, C, it seems like a sneaky word.” — Virginia

“Maw Maw, come here and ask Jimmy a math question.” — Virginia, eating a popsicle
“If a radius of a circle is 6, what is the area?” — Maw Maw
“A math question, Maw Maw.” — Virginia
“That is math. [To Jimmy] The formula is Pi r squared.” — Maw Maw
“Is she even lucid right now? Square pies.” — Burt, also eating a popsicle
“I think there are squares in math.” — Jimmy
“Pies are round. Cobblers are square.” — Virginia
“Lemon squares are square. Brownies are those long thin squares … I could use something sweet right now. Anybody else hungry?” — Burt
“I could eat.” — Virginia

“Burt, get out here. There’s a dog on TV that can bark dirty words.” — Virginia

“I don’t want Jimmy to get smarter than me.” — Burt
“Well, if you get smart then I’ll be the dumbest one, and I am not going from the Moe to the Curly in this trio. Put down the book and go watch TV. And nothing smart, no PBS and no NBC sitcoms.” — Virginia

“If you guys get your GEDs it’ll be like the three blind mice, only two of them got their eyes fixed with that latex surgery and I’ll be the only one bumpin’ into things.” — Virginia

“This is a right triangle. What kind of triangle is this?” — Mr. Swift, referring to the triangle drawing to the left of the right triangle
“Wrong triangle.” — Jimmy
“Idiot.” — Mr. Swift
“Left triangle.” — Virginia

“Can anyone tell me what happened in the Bay of Pigs? [Jimmy, Burt and Virginia raise their hands] There were no actual pigs involved. [Hands go down].” — Mr. Swift

Song Maw Maw teaches Virginia to help her remember her history:

The British ran like sissies
When we threw away their tea
And won the Revolutionary War in 1783.

It would have ended sooner
If Nixon dropped the bomb
But it wasn’t until 1973
We got out of Vietnam

That evil Saddam Hussein
Was a thorn in W’s paw
So he ran him out of Baghdad
In a night of shock and awe

And that was every war
In American history
Now I can’t wait to see who we fight
When it comes to World War III

“By houses, Shakespeare doesn’t mean buildings, he means the two families — they hate each other. I don’t know if you ever saw the soap opera Santa Barbara, but it’s pretty much the same.” — Burt, explaining Romeo and Juliet

“Hope, what is 3.14?” — Burt
[Hope points to a pie on the counter]
“Oh my god, she knew the number for Pi.” — Jimmy
“Or she’s pointing out that we haven’t fed her in seven hours while we’re all busy failing this stupid practice test. Either way, we’re idiots.” — Virginia

“I got a 90 in math.” — Virginia
“It’s out of 800, mom, that’s a terrible score.” — Jimmy
“Oh. That makes me feel less good about my 70 in english.” — Virginia

“Dad, you remember that TV show you made me watch about the tough guy with the silver hair?” — Jimmy
“Maude?” — Burt

“The first section is math and science, which will be very important in your careers whether it’s making change or making meth.” — Mr. Swift, handing out the tests

Clacked by Chuck Duncan
on Jan 18, 2012 @ 00:09 EST5EDT