So. You and I are just down to the nitty gritty with The X Factor now, aren’t we? There’s no more “Save Me” songs. The judges are out and it’s up to the voting public. Let’s talk about each contestant in excruciating detail. Shall we?
Marcus Canty: OK. I will state the obvious. It’s time for Marcus to go. Statistically he’s been in the bottom two enough times to tell us that this is inevitable. (And I was super bad at math in college, and this is even clear to me.)
So now that we’ve gotten the pesky facts out of the way? Let’s jaw about his performances this week. I don’t know about you, but Marcus just leaves me saying “Meh” a lot in my head. He’s milquetoast. He’s going for the whole “New Luther Vandross” thing, I think. But the problem is that he doesn’t have the charm or the chops to back it up. Luther’s style of music (along the lines of Celine and Mariah and suchmuch) I’m not a huge fan of. It’s over the top a bit for me. But I can appreciate it, and I know there’s a huge contingent of love struck teens and romantic women out there who crave this sort of schmaltz. Really, that’s fine by me! Luther had it down pat. He had emotion plus. He meant what he sang and his voice was just lovely. (Yes, lovely. I use the word often so get over it.)
Marcus just … can’t. See ya!
(At this point I’m going to introduce you to what I will now refer to in this post as “SNCs” or “SPCs”. These are acronyms for the ridiculous things said by judges Nicole Sherzinger or Paula Abdul that I noted. As in “Stupid Nicole Comments” or “Stupid Pauler Comments.” These comments include corniness and insane drama. Get a Dramamine!)
SNC about Marcus Canty: “To me? You’re already a champion and a winner.”
Onward to …
Chris Rene: This guy is so likable he should run for Congress. His back story and his personality and struggles are what has kept him around for this long, I truly believe. The judges keep pointing out his voice is “not the strongest in the competition.” That’s true. It’s not a strong voice. It doesn’t have power or carry to the rafters. But at the same time, I think his mentor (L.A. Reid) is not seeing where his potential lies. Chris has shown us in the last two weeks that he’s a musician with some skills. When he’s alone at the piano he is at his best. I said last week he reminds me of Jason Mraz. Not a rapper, L.A.
And if he’s marketed this way, and unleashed to explore that sort of style? Well, I would just love to see that.
SPC about Chris Rene: “Your heart resonates with the World.” (I just gagged.)
SNC about Chris Rene: “Your spirit transcends across the Universe.” (Hey! A hairball just came out! Where did that come from?)
Onward to …
Melanie Amaro: Well, she didn’t make any speeches tonight, which was a plus. I was not at all surprised that Simon chose “Feeling Good” for Melanie. If you’ve been playing along, I’ve stated that this chick is going to be the next Jennifer Hudson, and she’s made a hit of this. So, a no brainer.
She’s awesome. Admit it. She killed that tune so dead it was unreal. Nuff said. She’s on to the finals.
SNC about Melanie Amaro: “You’ve grown into being the woman that you are. That was your freedom anthem.” (Uh oh. I just coughed up Jimmy Hoffa! So that’s where he’s been!)
Onward to …
Josh Krajick: Yep. He’s my pony and all my meager wealth is on his nose. Look. I don’t like the song “Hallelujah.” I just don’t. I don’t know why. Maybe because it’s overused and over sung so much and it’s sad and semi cheesy. But if I had to be subjected to it one more time? I have to say Josh pulled it off for me. And his “Pepsi Challenge” Beatles tune was just awesome. Bravo!
However, you know me, and I have to speak the snarky truth sometimes. Why can’t these makeup people at Fox clean Josh up? He always looks like he just crawled out of a dumpster! Get some pants on him that fit! Shave that woodchuck on his face! Cut that greasy long assed mop off! What’s the problem? I’m telling you I laugh every time they show him backstage before a performance with the makeup people tweaking at him. What are they tweaking?? They haven’t done anything!
SPC about Josh Krajick: “You attack our souls.” (Huh. Jimmy Hoffa just sat up and asked me to join the Union. This cannot be good.)
Onward to …
My Brain Just Flies Around:
A. Steve Jones is just an idiot. Where did they find him? I have secret thoughts that anyone with an English accent is fair game to become a host of “something” now.
B. The dramatic music and introduction of the judges is so beyond the beyond corny that I’m ashamed of you Simon Cowell for tolerating it.
C. I was right last week. Rachel did say to her Mom, “You promise?” Not “You promised!” As in “You promised me I’d win this.” I saw it on playback. So there.
D. Hearing Nicole get voraciously booed for her behavior and decision regarding Rachel last week? It made me smile.
Onward to …
Your Thoughts! Please leave them below. I want to hear them. I really do!
Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Dec 15, 2011 @ 10:17 EST5EDT
I agree almost completely with every single thing you wrote here (with the exception that Melanie is my pony instead of Josh).
You’re right about the “You promise?” I heard it more clearly after watching the replay. But it’s also fairly obvious that Rachel was acting like a 8-year-old drama queen. When I see kids behaving like that, I feel no sympathy – what I feel is (I imagine) like having sandpaper applied directly to my brain.
*POST AUTHOR*
Ruby? I’ve never had or wanted kids. I love them. But the best part is handing them back to their parents.
Ow! Tara’s mean.
You’re on a roll. I’m still in total agreement with you. (Whoops, that sounds like I’m saying you’re mean… Oh well, I’ve already outed myself as a mean, child-avoiding machine too).
. . . . .
It’s been time for Marcus Canty to go since the beginning. (Though … I have to give him a nod for making me gag with his electro-house “Careless Whisper” travesty. Steve Jones can’t always monopolize the train wreck sequences, you know.)
I understand Melanie Amaro can sing … sometimes to terrific effect. But something’s not right. And “Feeling Good” didn’t help. (What was your first clue I loathe Bublé?)
Chris at the piano worked wonderfully for me. But then … he had to get up and showcase his weak voice. Can you say sympathy vote one more time?
“Come Together” was brilliant. “Hallelujah” was understated and tasteful. Yes … it sat near the top of the huge pile of versions sung over the last few years, but it was understated and tasteful.
I believe Chris and Josh will be in the finale pitted against one another … but, really, there’s no contest there.
*POST AUTHOR*
Michael, I think that Chris won’t be able to get the votes to pit himself up against Josh. But hey! I’ve been wrong before, and you never know how things will turn out on these shows.
And I like Buble. So put that in your pipe and smoke it.
My daughter has not been watching this show, but has heard me talking about it. One of the things I had mentioned was my opinion that Nicole just might be the only judge they could have gotten that could make Paula look smart.
We got to your first SPC – “Your heart resonates with the world.” – and daughter turned to me to say, “I thought you said Paula was smarter.” I clarified that Paula wasn’t smarter, she just looked smarter next to Nicole.
Then we had your first SNC – “Your spirit transcends across the universe.” – and daughter’s only comment was “Oh, I see what you mean.”
I have to believe Marcus will be out and we will be left with Chris, Josh, and Melanie. [Any other result is too weird to contemplate.] Melanie isn’t the ultimate performer yet, but I expect her voice to carry her to great things after X Factor. Chris may pull off a win, but he shouldn’t. Josh has been my sentimental favorite from the beginning, but I wouldn’t bet the farm on it.
PS – I saw the same replay you did, and I think Rachel said, “You promised me!” Then her mother said, “I promise you it will be okay.” THEN Rachel said, “You promise me?” However, live dialogue does not come with punctuation and a whiny voice makes for horrible diction. So, who knows?
Basic Mom 101 says “Do your children a favor and don’t make promises about things you can’t control. Then, when the uncontrollable happens, you aren’t the bad guy.” Too bad Rachel’s mom missed the lecture that day.
*POST AUTHOR*
I so love that you read my review with your daughter. That is awesome! I’m not kidding. It warmed my heart.
At first I thought Michael wrote this and I was shocked that I agreed with everything. Then I read the comments and saw his post and I went up and saw Tara’s name and finally the world made since. It was Tara I was agreeing with of course.
My favorite is Josh hands down. My second choice would be Chris and third Melanie. I love Josh cleaned up or not. He is a rock singer and most of them are messy and look like they need to wash their hair so maybe he is sticking to the role. Who knows. Chris is just wonderful. No maybe he doesn’t have the best voice of the three but I like his style.
Boils down to this for me I would buy tickets to see Josh and Chris. I would buy Cd’s made by both of them. I would not go see Melanie or buy her CD. Do I think she has a beautiful voice—yes one of the best I have ever heard. But I don’t own a Celine Dion Cd or a Whitney Houston Cd. I do however own some Bob Seger, Enimne, ZZ Top and the likes of those. So there you have it.
PS Sorry Michael….
*POST AUTHOR*
ginas, you made me laugh! Of course I wrote this! I’m glad the World makes more sense to you now.
. . . . .
< ----- *glares at ginas*
Oh yeah I forgot to comment on the judges—-no nothing to say you covered it all!!!
Agree with all your comments. Did you notice the Melanie lost the “accent”?
*POST AUTHOR*
Maureen, I did notice this and forgot to point it out. I’m so glad you did! Freaking annoying, isn’t it? I mean – pick a personality please!
I know Tara. It was like she was thinking it would make her stand out and than she changed her mind. Weird. I bet someone told her people thought she was being annoying. Which of course is true. HaHa
NO shockers in tonight results.