Quotation Marks – Chuck, Community and Psych

The big networks are ramping things up before most shows take a couple of weeks off in hiatus. That means more quotes for this week’s installment of Quotation Marks. We had some really great ones this week, but if we managed to miss yours, be sure to share it with us in the comments!

Chuck (Review)

“When he gets all plugged in he goes overboard with the Chardonnay. Calls it his ‘thinking juice.'” — Morgan

“Right, I’m gonna take orders from Ward and June Cleaver.” – Verbanski

“Close your eyes. Imagine David Beckham. Lester’s a shorter, feminine version of his wife.” — Morgan

“[Entering as Casey is getting jumped by several inmates] You touch one hair on his head. And, I will pull your plug. Mark my words, son. Stop back or your nights will get real long. Real long. Step back!” — Lester
“What the hell?” — Casey

“I forgot something: I’m really good at this.” – Chuck, on his hacking skills

“There’s someone who hasn’t forgiven your dickish behavior. And, you need to right that wrong. I’m talking about John Casey.” — Jeff
“I know, dude. I’m not brain damaged. I’m sorry, too soon?” — Morgan

“We could have been something.” — Verbanski
“Still can be.” — Casey
“Perhaps someday.” — Verbanski

“Sarah, I was wrong about quitting the spy life. Because right now, we’ve got to be the best spies we’ve ever been, OK?” — Chuck

Grimm (Review)

“Is this about the teacher that became ratatouille?” — Monroe asking Nick about the teacher who was eaten by rats

How I Met Your Mother (Review)

“Kids, have I ever told you the story of how I met your father? Well, I’ll just skip ahead to the moment I told him I was pregnant.” – Robin

“My stepdad Clint made us get rid of anything that reminds him of the commercialization of Christmas.” – Ted
“I thought you said he dresses up as Santa?” – Lily
“Yeah, but to protest gender stereotypes, he plays Santa as a woman – though he keeps the beard. The result … is … disturbing.” – Ted

“Robin is upset. She and Kevin are having trouble. He cheated on her!” – Ted
“No way, Kevin is an honest, decent guy who never on his best day couldn’t pull a hotter chick than Robin.” – Lily

“I wouldn’t go to Cleveland for $125 million dollars paid over six years.” – Robin
“Still? Still with the LeBron jokes? Where’s that ring huh? Where’s that ring he’s supposed to have by now?” – Ted

“Kids, your Aunt Robin never became a pole-vaulter. But she did become a famous journalist, a successful businesswoman, a world traveler … she was even briefly a bullfighter. That’s a funny story; I’ll get to that later. But there was one thing your Aunt Robin never was – she was never alone.” – Ted

 Hot in Cleveland

“I want to invite both of you to dine with me at the Captain’s Table tonight.” — Captain LeBeau to Victoria and Joy
“Of course. What time?” — Victoria
“2100 hours.” — Captain
“From now?” — Victoria
“No. 2100 is military time, it is the same as two bells on the first watch.” — Captain
“Well that clarifies it handsomely.” — Victoria

Psych (Review)

“[Looks longingly at Nicole] I’m going to die and come back as that peach scarf.” – Gus
“I thought you wanted to come back as the Skinny Elvis?” – Shawn
“No, you wanted to come back as Skinny Elvis. I wanted to come back as Black Michael Jackson.” – Gus
“And now you’re downgrading to a scarf?” – Shawn
“You know that’s right.” – Gus

“The only understandable thing in the witness statement was a doodle of three large circles.” – Lassiter
“Maybe the snowman did it.” – Shawn

“These plums are God’s candy.” – Gus
“If God meant for them to be candy, then why did He invent candy?” – Shawn

“Dude, this is like Footloose, brawling with townies. That means I’m Kevin Bacon and you’re Lori Singer.” – Shawn
“Why do I have to be a girl?” – Gus
“Because you just swung like that [mimics a rather girly punch].” – Shawn

“If you want to speak, you have to score the gourd.” – Eli
“You’re kidding, right?” – Lassiter
“I never kid.” – Eli
“[Juliet gives Lassiter a look] Oh shut up.” – Lassiter

“Don’t listen to him, he’s a slave to his own cynicism.” – Eli
“I’m a slave to love, Jack. And fashion, and movies where dogs cover their eyes when couples get intimate around them.” – Shawn

“This guy’s like human froyo.” — Troy on Mr. Rad, Glee Club leader

“I feel like we let Mr. Rad down.” — Annie
“No, he let himself down when he left the house wearing a sweater vest.” — Jeff

“It was almost like being on ecstasy, only instead of having pointless conversations and dancing like idiots — wait, it was exactly like being on ecstasy.” — Britta on being in Glee Club

“I wish there was a way we could stop all this. I realize the stakes aren’t actually that high, but somehow that just makes it extra scary.” — Britta

Castle (Review)

“I’ve told you, it’s none of your business.” – Lanie
“Of course it’s none of my business; that’s why I want to know.” – Castle

“So do you have a story to explain all of this? The old woman in the cage, John Doe with his identity removed, us handcuffed but still alive?” – Beckett
“I don’t think that’s a story you’d want to hear.” – Castle
“Why not?” – Beckett
“With those elements, I can’t think of a version that ends well – not even a Disney version.” – Castle

Parks and Recreation (Review)

“The fact that Yahtzee is not in the Rec Center is a tragedy on par with human trafficking … slight exaggeration.” — Leslie

“There’s nothing we can’t do if we work hard, never sleep, and shirk all other responsibilities in our lives. Are you with me?” – Leslie

Bones (Review)

“Is she trying to get on the platform with a ‘Buy 10, Get one free’ yogurt card?” – Cam

“FBI open up. Come out with your hands up, in the air and your pants on!” – Booth

Beavis and Butt-Head

“There’s a law of intelligence?” — Beavis
“Yeah, you better hire a lawyer, Beavis.” — Butt-Head

The Big Bang Theory (Review)

“Hi, did Sheldon change the Wi-Fi password again?” – Penny
“Yeah, it’s ‘pennyalreadyeatsourfoodshecanpayforwifi.’ [pauses] No spaces.” – Leonard

“Was this fella who peed in your Hawaiian Punch?” – Sheldon
“No, that was a different guy.” – Leonard
“Was he the one who wedgied you so hard your testicle re-ascended and you spent your whole Christmas break waiting for it to come back down?” – Sheldon
“No that was a different different guy.” – Leonard
“Was he the one who used your head to open a nut?” – Sheldon
“No.” – Leonard
“Oh oh oh, was he the one who made you eat your arm hair?” – Sheldon
“No, that was actually this guy’s sister.” – Leonard

“You know the holidays are just around the corner, maybe he wants to see if he can lodge the other testicle up there.” – Sheldon
“I told you that was another guy.” – Leonard
“That’s too bad. We could have spent New Year’s Eve waiting for the ball to drop.” – Penny

“I’m going to see him, and finally say all of the things I should have said in high school: ‘Why don’t you go pick on someone your own size’ … ‘No you did not have sex with my mother’ and ‘Yes I do know why I’m hitting myself.’” – Leonard

“I don’t think I could be the girl who was mean to me, Tammy Bodnick. One time when I was in gym class she stole all my clothes and left an elf costume in my locker.” – Bernadette
“Oh that’s awful!” – Penny
“The worst part was it was too big.” – Bernadette

“[running down the stairs] You did it Leonard, you stood up to your bully!” – Sheldon
“Yeah, I feel pretty good about myself. You think we can out run him?” – Leonard
“I don’t need to outrun him. I just need to outrun you.” – Sheldon

Raising Hope

“Good morning. Do you want eggs or toast for breakfast? Keep in mind: If you want eggs, you’re going to be disappointed.” — Frank to Jimmy as Jimmy wakes up on Frank’s floor