Glee
Glee
It’s a feeling you get
When your brain finally lets
Your heart get in its pants
Glee
It’s like a drug that you use
That turns your pain into shoes
And your shoes into dance!
How’s your piano still playing this song?
Glee is the answer when questions are wrong
You’ll understand if you just sing along
‘Cuz glee is the gift that you neeeeee-heeeed
Glee
It’s what I’ll spread to my friends
Like a virus that sends
Them to a healthier place
Glee
I’ll understand every scene
‘Cuz they’ll sing what they mean
Instead of making a face
Families are closer when families are winning
Everything’s cooler when cameras are spinning
Singing and dancing in unison … inining
Glee is the gift that we neeeeed
Glee!
Christmas Infiltration
What if you were a Jehovah’s Witness that was merely pretending to be into Christmas
Gathering clues and blending in
To take down the holidays from within
You mean like a spy, investigating
Making it seem like I’m celebrating
When actually I’m infiltrating
Santa’s operation?
Yoip!
Going deep cover past enemy lines
Making everybody think I’m on the Chris-a-mas side
Rockin’ warm sweaters
Hangin’ big-ass lights
If the fat man can see me, yo
It’s gotta look right
I’ll watch all the TV specials that I never could
I’ll even cry through the sad ones like James Bond would
And when the big night comes it’s time to set the bait
Cold milk, hot cookies
Decorative plates!
And he’ll come down the chim-in-ey
And then we’ll just be him and me
But he won’t know we’re enemies
‘Cuz I’ll play sincere
Spring a trap
Like that
Hug him tight
Get on his lap
And tell him he can come back every year
‘Cuz I am Jehovah’s most secret witness
So I might have to dedicate my life to Christmas
And act just like I love it ’til the day I die
A-B-E-D!
Connoisseur of Christmas
On the spectrum
None of your business
Thoughts too fast to comprehend
Just wanna do right
By my friends
If years were seasons
This December
Would be the December
Of our December
More blueprints than Howard Hughes
But if there are blueprints
How do we choose?
We have to be happy to get to the end
We have to save Christmas to save our friends
We have to save Christmas to save our friends
We have to save Christmas to save our friends
Baby Boomer Santa
Santa Claus was born in 1945
He had a boogy-woogie Coca-Cola army jive
And when the Commies gave the polio to Doris Day
Santa helped the Beatles chase McCarthy away
That Baby Boomer Santa
He never gonna die
Santa fought at Woodstock and Vietnam
And smoked a ton of acid and burned his bra
And then in 1970 he did more drugs
And his hair stayed long and he … grew a mustache
Baby Boomer Santa
He’s gonna stay ali-hi-hi-ive
Santa invented Spielberg and microchips
Santa invented Coca-Cola and aerobics
He made the Iron Curtain and the Gremlins 2
Fake butter and AIDS and Twin Peaks
Baby Boomer Santa
Thank you for MTV
Baby Boomer Santa
Thank you for everything
You’re welcome
You’re welcome for everything
In the world
You’re welcome
You’re welcome for all that I bring
To the world
I’m Baby Boomer Santa
I bring the gift of the world
Baby Boomer Santa
I’m an American pearl
Teach Me How To Understand Christmas
Teach me how to understand Christmas
Show me how to open a box
It hurts my little head
When I’m lying in my bed
With visions of sugarplum socks?
Teach me how to understand Christmas
Do I trim the tree or the deer?
I can’t keep it straight
And now it’s getting late
Where does the stocking go? Here?
What’s a Christmas Eve? Is that Santa’s lady?
Are snowmen cold or hot?
Won’t you be my daddy
I’m a silly Christmas baby
Tell me what to deck ‘cuz … hehe … I forgot
Bwian huwty undewstandy Cwistmas
Mistletoe for eatie taste good?
You smawty, me dumb
Help pwetty have fun!
Boopy doopy doop boop sex
Happy Birthday Jesus
There’s a magic in the air around us
We all have the sudden urge to bake
It feels like a very special birthday
But whose name should be written on the cake?
We asked our public school to give the answer
But they could only teach us not to pray
The Constitution says the state can’t tell us
Does anyone important born today
Jesus Christ! Jesus Christ is lord!
Happy birthday Jesus (Happy birthday)
Cut the cake
Cut the cake, now
Cut the cake, my lord
Clacked by Keith McDuffee 
on Dec 08, 2011 @ 20:28 EST5EDT
You’ve done Community fans everywhere a wonderful service Keith, thank you.
Thank you for the feeling you get when your brain lets your heart get in your pants.
Thanks kind sir! I just re-watched the entire first part of the season (since “regionals” are almost over), and you were of a great help to my enjoyment!
I think that’s supposed to be “and the Gremlins, too”
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