To call this episode of The X Factor a tribute to rock and roll would make my tongue swell inside my head. I’m so frustrated! Why create a theme night in order for the judges to just take the word in the broadest sense and run with it and shape it like silly putty to do exactly whatever the hell they want to do anyway?? Last week? Iconic movie week, with nary an iconic song in the bunch. And in this week’s “rock” topic? I counted seven contestants who by no means performed “rock” songs. Yes yes. R.E.M. and Bob Seger and U2 are considered to be rock artists. But that doesn’t mean you can pick a freaking ballad that the group is famous for and pass it off as conforming to the theme! Hazoose!
Josh Krajick (pictured above) was the only person who did this genre justice. I’ve been so waiting for a performance like this from him. I’ve been calling for it in past reviews. I begged for some Pearl Jam or something of that ilk for Nicole to give him for weeks now. He blew it out da park. (And if you think for a moment that his “mentor” actually had anything to do with that Foo Fighters tune he sang? Well, I got a bridge I can sell ya. I think Josh finally pushed her to listen to him for a change.)
All the smoldering banter between the judges about which song was technically “rock” and which wasn’t, was just hypocritical redundancy. Examples! (All contestants who did not sing rock versions of their songs are highlighted.)
Simon called L.A. Reid out for choosing a reggae song for Chris Rene. L.A. counters that Bob Marley was voted into the “Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.” And Chris made a mess of that song, by the way.
L.A. gave Simon the business for his R.E.M. choice for Melanie. Simon dug himself deep by saying it was a rock song by a rock band, and that Melanie reminds him of Adele and Alicia. L.A. puts out that “they’re” not rock either!
Pauler was the voice of reason in suggesting that maybe the mentors and contestants should stick to the themes at this point, to show their versatility. Huh. Pauler? The voice of reason?? Wooooah.
Leroy Bell didn’t sing “rock.” (Bob Seger is famous for a song called “Old Time Rock and Roll” and Nicole picks “We’ve Got Tonight?”) So typical of the clueless airhead’s song choices throughout this whole thing.
Drew didn’t “rock” it with her slooooow version of “With or Without You.” I like Drew, but a whole album of her songs would only be good for keeping patients in a coma, if you hated them.
Stacy’s Meatloaf song was pure Celine Dion. And! When Stacy referred to her own fans as “Franatics?” I fantasized about pulling out her nose hairs individually with tweezers.
Astros’ version of “Every Breath You Take” not only was not “rock,” but was typically a spin of a hip hop artist’s spin off of a Police tune. (Try to follow me here. What I’m saying is L.A. could take the theme of Christmas music with Astro and find some rap version of it to just let Astro do his “only” thing. Does this kid even sing? Ever?)
Lakoda Rayne didn’t “rock” Fleetwood Mac by any stretch of the imagination. (I told you from the start that Pauler’s groups were dead in the musical waters. They’re alllll gone tomorrow.)
And that brings me to my thoughts on Rachel Crow and Marcus Canty.
Rachel did sing a rock n’ roll song by a legitimate rock n’ roll band. That’s true. But I don’t know what Simon is continually thinking of with this little girl. It gave me the heebies to hear a thirteen year old scream that she “Can’t Get No Satisfaction.” I mean, really. What the hell?
And Marcus? Well, talk about being hypocritical. We saw the huge montage of Marcus being a mentor to small children at church and he spoke of the importance of his remaining a positive role model. Then! He gyrated and crawled on the floor and had scantily clad dancers falling all over him surrounded by fire. Huh? I was glad Simon pointed out how stupid L.A.’s staging was.
My point being that song choice is obviously mostly about the judges in this show. It’s their little musical masturbatory fantasies. Not what fits their team members vocally, or even following the genre for that week. It’s all about Them.
Egos. We’re getting our dose of them.
Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Nov 17, 2011 @ 01:36 EST5EDT
. . . . .
Leroy: Good thing he didn’t sing a 3 minute song. He was fading fast there toward the end.
Rachel: Unbelievable in her performance. No … seriously: I couldn’t bring myself to believe her as she was singing The Stones.
Recognized Josh’s song instantaneously.
Drew: I usually like lilts, but hers is a bit annoying. Though it did work for her this time around.
Good Gordness, Melanie and Stacy were horrific.
Predicition: It wouldn’t surprise me in the least if Astro and Josh were in the finals. Remember where you heard it first.
I was at the Tapings in Chicago and I tweeted that Josh could win the whole thing. I watched through 2 tapings, and he was the only person that I saw that could win the whole thing. I actually haven’t been watching any of this season, and it just happened to be on while I was cooking dinner, and I caught his performance. It looks like that tweet from May could actually come true.
*POST AUTHOR*
I agree Robert. I’ve called him out in past reviews. And although Melanie wasn’t as strong as usual last night? I think she and Josh should be in the finals.
*POST AUTHOR*
Michael – I think Leroy has the Groups to thank for staying around this long. Maybe he should buy Pauler flowers.
Josh killed it. Everyone else was bleh.
Like L.A., I am so bored of Drew doing the same thing over and over each week. But his guys do the same thing over and over each week too.
However, Tara, I don’t think it’s fair to expect Astro to sing. Some rappers can sing (with a little help from autotune), some can’t. The ones that can’t still can make great careers for themselves. We don’t expect Lakoda Rayne to rap, so why should we expect Astro to sing?
*POST AUTHOR*
It might not be fair of me, Ruby. Cocky little kids just bug me.
Tara! Where is your elimination night column?! I can’t wait to see what you have to say about Astro’s “finale” and Simon’s response!
As much as I am NOT a fan of Stacy, if I was Simon I would have definitely voted to send Astro home. It would have gone to the tie-break, and Astro would have probably stayed anyway, but Simon would have made a very important statement about “cocky little kids”.
I’m guessing the concept of looking for the “X” factor means we can’t make the statement “This is supposed to be a SINGING competition!!” anymore, right?