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Poll: Who’s the lamest TV vampire?

We already know you hate ‘Twilight,’ but what other vampires get your gourd? Who is more annoying - the vampires in ‘True Blood’ or ‘Being Human’? Tell us which vampires suck the most!

Are there any vampires that started out with promise but then fizzled? How about specific vampires that annoy the hell out of you?

I have a couple.

  • I never liked Spike (Buffy). Ever. I hated his helmet hair and that terrible knockoff British accent. It was like a watered down Billy Idol with an overtly prozaced girlfriend.
  • Angel (Buffy): Come on. David Boreanaz is hella hot, but his character stalked a teenager, WHO COULD KILL HIM, across the U.S. Then, he starred in a far inferior TV show. Note: Not Bones.
  • Mick (Moonlight): I loved the show, but in the pilot Mick was just an ab-tacular vampire with a wooden voice and a 1970s glass block fireplace. All he did was oil up his body and stare mournfully at the sky.
  • The Annointed One (Buffy): The allegedly most evil vampire ever foretold does nothing but hang out in the basement with his groupies. They didn’t turn him; yet, somehow Spike managed to kill the STILL HUMAN child with sunlight?! Lame.
  • Mr. Trick (Buffy): He started off badass and awesome, then the used-car-sales-ass-looking mayor comes along, steals his territory. And, Tricksy doesn’t even blink? What?!
  • Nick (Forever Knight): First of all, he’s a Canadian Vampire. CANADIAN. In the centuries of vampire lore what cool vampire ever came from there? Second, his first season surrounded terrible special effects and a mentor with a love affair of pancake makeup and red lipstick.
  • Barnabas (Dark Shadows): The dude is a walking Xanax. And did you LOOK at those sideburns?
  • Nikola Tesla (Sanctuary): Every single vampire that he meets kicks his ass. EVERY SINGLE ONE. EVEN the vampires he created! And, come on, his long nailed vampire transformation isn’t scary. It just means he needs a manicure.

What does everyone else think?

Below find thoughts from the rest of the CliqueClack gang.

Ivey: Sounds just like the “favorite vampires” poll, just with An being all negative.

Bob: Billy Idol stole HIS look.

Katie: Rebecca on Being Human was super lame, not for trying and failing to give up killing people, but for her fake bravado while she still was. Also, daddy issues.

Bob: They show those stupid Twilight movies on TV now, does that count? Because that sparkly lame ass would win hands down.

Katie: Bob, I had the same idea. The poll options would go into the 30s.

Brett: How did this get so far without anyone bringing up Bill Fucking Compton? Unless that is just a given, and the poll is for the winner of the Bill Compton award.

An: Lol. I forgot about vampire Biiilllll. Anyone else for vampires that suck?

Carla: Well, technically all vampires … suck.

You can vote once per day. The poll will close on Monday, November 28 at 11:59 PM ET.

  
Photo Credit: CBS

67 Responses to “Poll: Who’s the lamest TV vampire?”

November 14, 2011 at 9:37 AM

*gasps in horror at An’s nomination of Tesla*
The third place winner for Favorite TV Vampire cannot be on this poll! ;-P

November 14, 2011 at 7:33 PM

I know, I know. But, in all honesty, I always viewed his vamp claws as lame. And, come on, every single vampire he meets kicks his ass! How can you be the most awesome vampire around (when you admit you’re the ONLY vampire?) :)

November 15, 2011 at 11:02 AM

Yeah, but what makes him awesome is his sense of humor. And his brain – I mean, he’s Tesla, the genius, the wizard of electricity. I love it when he uses electricity instead of his claws to fight.

November 15, 2011 at 10:22 PM

Ruby, you’re proving my point :) Agreed, I prefer electric youth Tesla over double-T (Twilight Tesla), but, if his electric powers are better than his vamp out factor, that’s just saying his vamp capabilities are lame :)

November 14, 2011 at 1:59 PM

I gasped in horror at Barnabas being in this poll!!!! I know he didn’t have the abs or the hotness of future vampires..but I remember that show scaring the crap out of me as a child! I thank him for my love of vampires!

November 14, 2011 at 7:42 PM

Lol, that’s why I included him. He scared me, yet I simultaneously found his dated look laughable :) Maybe his sideburns scared me more than anything :)

November 14, 2011 at 6:46 PM

Beehl Compton is soooooooooooooooo lame!

November 14, 2011 at 6:59 PM

Beel Compton… the most annoying and lamest of them all…

November 14, 2011 at 7:00 PM

seriously…there is NONE lamer than Bill Compton. NONE. that guy makes me want to watch paint dry. and if i EVER have to hear the dull guy say SOOKEH again I may cry.

December 16, 2011 at 9:51 AM

Than quit watching true blood, Bill Compton is after all the main vamp/star on the show:) And I guarantee him & Sookie will end up back together!!!!!!

December 16, 2011 at 12:31 PM

yeah I’m sure Billy boy is the main “vamp” for you,but then even the lamest things have fans. And not that it’s any of your business whether I watch TB or not,but little old billy boy was never my reason to watch it or NOT to watch it. Other characters easily overshadowed his lameness for me. I want to tell you to shove your opinion of whether or not I should watch the show where the sun don’t shine but I’m going to keep my opinion to myself,try to do other people the same courtesy.

November 14, 2011 at 7:04 PM

Beehl “Chupa cabras” Compton is the lamest of them all… Every time I hear him saying Sookehhhh is minehhh I want to kick the television…

November 14, 2011 at 7:05 PM

Bill hands down! OMG…..so f** annoying.

November 14, 2011 at 7:15 PM

“Beehl Cockblockton” – lamest vamp on TV – EVER!!!!!!!!!!!

November 14, 2011 at 8:04 PM

We need a poll to determine this? ;) I thought it was common knowledge that everyone hates Bill Compton.

November 14, 2011 at 8:05 PM

Even I have to vote for me.

November 14, 2011 at 8:36 PM

Beehl Compton gets my vote! He sucks…and NOT in a good way!

November 14, 2011 at 8:48 PM

No doubt about it…when you look up the word lame in the dictionary, there should be a picture of Bill Compton beside it.

BTW, just have to say that I LOVE Spike (and Drusilla)! And I agree with Bob, Billy Idol stole HIS look! :)

November 14, 2011 at 9:43 PM

Lol, I’ll pass your thoughts on to Bob, VPG :)

November 14, 2011 at 10:10 PM

. . . . .

*sigh*

I have a dog. His name is Bob. Yes … his name is Bob The Dog and it has served him well.

If I ever got another dog? I was going to name him “Bill Compton”. (“Was” being the operative word here.)

Now? After reading all this? Including – and most decisively – the comment from BeehlCompton69?

Well … don’t I feel the fool.

*heads back to the “Fantastic Dog Names To Impress Your Family & Friends” book to give it another whirl*

*re-sigh*

November 15, 2011 at 3:46 AM

Fair enough – call it Sookeh instead

November 14, 2011 at 11:14 PM

My vote will always be for Beehl!

November 14, 2011 at 11:35 PM

I don’t know much about TV vampires but my vote would have to go to the Chicago Cubs. They have to be vampires, they have sucked for over 100 years.

November 15, 2011 at 11:06 AM

Give Theo a chance…
:-)

November 15, 2011 at 12:21 AM

Talk about Lame, these fucking polls are lame. Are you Eric lovers that hard up?

November 15, 2011 at 3:18 AM

Now now Shitley, don’t get your pantaloons in a bunch. Beehl is winning! xox

November 15, 2011 at 4:48 AM

Really Shirley? Because this is such a well known Eric worship site … the EL’s didn’t nominate him in case that escaped your notice.

Face it – you backed a lame horse that no sane person would touch with a barge pole. I understand how bitter that might make you, but coming here and blaming people who prefer Eric for this poll is beyond crazy.

Vampire Bill is the lamest of lame, he bemoans being a vampire but the second he can use it as an excuse for being a douchebag he jumps on it. Don’t let his clown tears fool you – he loves being a vamp – he just loves the sympathy for being something he says he hates even more.

November 15, 2011 at 5:56 AM

Chill out! Honestly, you don’t need to prefer Eric to think Bill is annoying… he’s lame all by himself LOL.
I actually was about to vote for Twilight, but then I thought, yeah they’re lame but at least they make me laugh. Bill is just tiresome.

November 15, 2011 at 6:49 AM

Alan Ball, is that you?

January 7, 2012 at 10:22 AM

If not then its Anna or Stephen.

November 15, 2011 at 5:05 PM

And for the first time ever, the Eric lovers robo vote for Bill. ;-)

November 16, 2011 at 9:58 AM

Shirley mah love, go back to OldSteve where it’s safe for yew.

Everyone else, RESPECT HER.

Jk.

November 17, 2011 at 1:51 PM

Ah, come on Tigereyes, can’t you BL’s take a joke? I thought you’d be stoked for your man to FINALLY win a poll….. perhaps you should stick to the Vault where it’s safe for you ;)

November 15, 2011 at 2:21 AM

LOL. Finally, i saw a poll where Bill Compton is winning. He is that lame that i almost gave up the show until they introduced the Sheriff of Area 5.

November 15, 2011 at 6:07 AM

I’m SO saving this one to whip out the next time someone says Bill never wins any polls….

November 15, 2011 at 3:42 AM

First of all, how is Spike even on this list? He’s one of my all time favorites, way more than Angel. I don’t like my vamps broody. Whatever, my vote went to Bill Compton, seriously one of the lamest vampires ever. I’m so glad Eric didn’t make this list.

November 15, 2011 at 3:44 AM

LOL, Queen Bill is at 61% at the mo. Now I never want to hear Bill fans (all 6 of them) moan about him never winning any polls again.

November 15, 2011 at 3:58 AM

There’s no vampire that comes even closer to being as annoying as Bill Compton. It’s kind of amazing how much he irritates me.

November 15, 2011 at 6:52 AM

Way to go Bill! Oh, err.. this isn’t exactly a poll you want to win, Um. Oops. Also, good to see good Stefan up there too. He’s a good second for Bill.

November 15, 2011 at 8:03 AM

Bill Compton is really annoying, have to agree with the people above and this one bill worshipper (of the 5 out there) should stop lurking around on fansites other than nest or vault, go there back to your nest and be grumpy, these guys are actually the vocal minority…

December 16, 2011 at 10:29 PM

Ah, you are so mistaken my dear. you may be very vocal, and you may be on your computers and iphones and ipads and everything else to voice your hate of Bill Compton and your irrational and “I’m in the in crowd” infatuation for Eric Northman – However, the Bill fans are many and from all over the fan base for the show – not just the loud, incessant raving few. They just don’t have to spew their spiteful comments on every site. They, like their favorite vampire, have a more civilized and appropriate way of demonstrating appreciation.

November 15, 2011 at 8:10 AM

Come on guys!
“Any” vampire on Twilight?!
That’s just not fair!
Don’t get me wrong, Edward SUCKS!… actually now that I think about it, they all suck!
Except James! :D
You know, James, the hot nomad who was supposed to kill Bella and put us out of our misery!?!
Anyways… Bill Compton is the lamest vampire ever!

And of course the BEST vampire ever is Klaus! (The Vampire Diaries)

Say no if you dare! (To Klaus I mean)

November 15, 2011 at 8:53 PM

LOL! Self-loathing + dork = Bill Compton = LAME

November 15, 2011 at 8:46 AM

Bill Compton…He’ll keep you alive,but he’ll bore you to death..

November 15, 2011 at 10:30 AM

Bill Compton is not lame! Lame vampires never kill anybody. Mr. Compton kills EVERYBODY.

Well, mostly women and children.

November 15, 2011 at 2:42 PM

But… but… he’s PROTECTING them when he does that! Sheesh. Don’t you know anything?

November 17, 2011 at 1:56 PM

He’s protecting them and he loves them so doesn’t that squash ALL the wrong he’s done?? ;)

November 18, 2011 at 8:17 PM

Yes, Bill is a great protector. Like when he was “protecting” Sookie by letting the Rattrays beat her, so he could jump in and save her. What a lame piece of shyt.

November 15, 2011 at 9:30 AM

Has to be Bill Compton by a mile, he loathes himself so why shouldn’t we lol

November 15, 2011 at 2:37 PM

This Poll was brought to you by “Idiots are us” ya that’s right the only thing lame about this poll is the idiot who made it and their flock!

November 15, 2011 at 2:55 PM

LOL, thats all to say about your comment…

November 15, 2011 at 3:20 PM

So ,Ummm.. Did you vote?? LOL!

November 15, 2011 at 8:48 PM

Beeehl – someone should put him out of his misery. And ours.

November 15, 2011 at 9:51 PM

Biel Thomas Compton aka Cockblocker.

November 15, 2011 at 11:35 PM

Well now this is the first time I’d ever had a reason to vote and root for Bill. He’s as interesting and self-loathing as Richard in the Anita Blake series. *gags* And I’m not going to even comment on the Twilight (Disney vamps as I call them) so-called-vampires. Ugh!

November 16, 2011 at 2:42 AM

Q: what kind of vampire needs to shoot a witch in the head in order to kill her?
A: a LAME one!

Queen Beeeeel Compton I’m looking at you!

November 16, 2011 at 2:49 PM

WOHOOOOOO! My Bill is WINning! Hahaha in your face rabids!!!!! ;”D *happy dance*

November 16, 2011 at 2:52 PM

oooooohhhhh wait a minute… *scratchs head*

November 16, 2011 at 4:34 PM

I’m so pleased Bill is winning. He really has to, doesn’t he! *grins*

November 19, 2011 at 1:48 PM

Oh yes he does have to win!!!! This is the first, and probably the only time I will vote for him.

November 24, 2011 at 10:34 AM

The ever annoying boring unsexy Bill Compton gets my vote every time!

November 27, 2011 at 4:40 AM

I agree and nominate Bill Compton for this poll as well. What about the vampire from “Blood Ties?” He was pretty lame too.

December 16, 2011 at 10:14 PM

I can certainly see why so many of these so-called TB fans vote for Bill Compton. Because Bill has kept so much of his humanity, and really does try and “live” as a man with values and a conscience – as far as possible for a vampire. OTOH Eric has no conscience, and no moral code. The only code he had was loyalty to Godric. Now that he’s gone, it’s all “me, me, me”- the vampire code of ethics.
So, yeah, Eric is surely a real vampire, whereas Bill is a man of honor who was turned into a vampire by trickery and entrapment. I’ll take Bill Compton any day, ’cause he’s not the vicious vampire Eric is.

December 23, 2011 at 7:27 AM

Have you ever even watched True Blood? Bill let Sookie get beaten so that he could make her drink his blood and have control over her. Oh wow, he’s so human.

December 27, 2011 at 8:59 AM

Oh they watch True Blood…they just watch with their rose colored glasses..lol. They think Beel is this noble, human vampire that has his humanity..lol. No matter what AB and the writers show us, they still don’t get it. Give me the vicious vampire Eric anyday. At least I could trust him.

January 7, 2012 at 10:35 AM

I don’t know about trusting him, but Eric is too proud to hide things and opinions so at least you always know where you stand with him as book Sookie says. And not to mention the eye candy all the while along with the fantasic viking love making. YUM! YUM! YUM!

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