Two and a Half Men – The “one more shot”

CBS’ Two and a Half Men‘s site states the program “… is TV’s #1 show! 42 million viewers can’t be wrong!”

Far be it from me to dispute the viewing habits of 42 million viewers. But … I am.

I’m told by reliable sources (*cough, cough*) that this role that Ashton Kutcher has landed himself in is not too far off the mark from his other work. This amazes me.

I’m told by those same sources that Kutcher is adding “a realism and a fresh approach to the show as Walden Schmidt” … to which I reply (borrowing from the sage and wonderful Mr. Hand (Ray Walston) of Fast Times At Ridgemont High):

“What are you, people? On dope … ?!?”

It’s clear to me now that I didn’t get the memo as to when comedy changed. Can someone tell me exactly when this happened? Was it in September? Six months ago? Was I asleep? At Disneyland? Driving? Watching the Orioles beat the Red Sox last week? Because it’s a whole different animal than I remember, as is evident by the first trilogy of episodes of this show this season.

People dig kids peeing in bushes outside someone’s front door? Folks (women, presumably) will swoon over the half-wit (and I’m being really generous there) character of Walden Schmidt just ’cause he’s got a pretty face and reasonably decent abs? They’re willing to put up with a food fight in the middle of a restaurant between a child and Schmidt? That’s comedy … ?!? I mean … people are actually content to soldier on with that type of writing being handed to them on this show? I’m amazed and horrified simultaneously.

Two and a Half Men is a train wreck. A train wreck that “42 million viewers can’t be wrong” about.

But at least I’ve found one redeeming item in the three episodes I’ve seen the last few weeks. This week’s was during the final scene when Herb (Ryan Stiles) screwed up his face at the mention of Judith (Marin Hinkle) liking beards, despite the fact they make her itchy. Herb’s facial expression mirrored my sentiments about the show precisely.

I’ve done my duty. I’ve watched all I possibly can. I can’t take any more.

Quotes:

“Remember: At grandma’s you have to pee sitting so you won’t splatter.” – Alan
“You pee like that anyway.” – Jake

“How many zeros in a million, Jake?” – Alan
“Million. Em. Eye. El. El. Eye. Oh. En. MILLION. One.” – Jake

“Berta … could you get the door?” – Alan
“I’m off the clock, Zippy.” – Berta
“You’re a live-in.” – Alan
“And I’m livin’.” – Berta, hoisting a beer while sitting on the couch

Clacked by Michael Noble
on Oct 04, 2011 @ 12:00 EST5EDT