I bet Terra Nova caused Hitchcock to turn in his grave

*sigh*

Apparently, it’s not just me having problems with Terra Nova – it’s the writers who are having them as well.

I wish I was a fly on the wall at the writer’s meeting for this episode. Because I think it may have gone something like this:

Sitting around the table, no one has a clue where to take the show after the premiere:

“Nah … working the mythology of it seems too pushy, like we’re trying too hard.”

“No … playing up that father/son dynamic will feel hokey — it’s supposed to be a science fiction vehicle, not Ordinary People … !!!”

“Word around cyberspace is we really need to get crackin’ on the probe question! Let’s go there!”

“No! Wait! I got it! Let’s recycle Hitchcock’s classic The Birds into the mix, just with dinosaurs, and work mom and dad into a hot, horny lather by trying to ‘get jiggy with it’ in the midst of all the mayhem! Whaddaya say … ?!?”

Brilliant. My senses are all a-tingle.

Seriously. This is what we we’re treated to on Terra Nova? A generic story about flying, pissed-off “pterasaurs” — *cough* — and a secondary plot about the frustrations of not gettin’ lucky 85 million years in the past? *cough, cough* (To be fair, the last time Jim “got any” was 85 million years ago … in the future, I mean. Oh … and add a couple years to that for good measure because he was in prison, remember.) Just shoot me.

Everything — and I mean everything — was ripped straight out of Hitchcock’s classic. Dead soldiers attacked and killed by birds … err … I mean flying pterasaurs. Jim and Elisabeth getting “interrupted” by annoying pterasaurs. The obligatory crowd scene (the Terra Nova marketplace) being swarmed by pterasaurs. The Shannon Family (most of them, anyway) hold up at home while being attacked by pterasaurs. Zoe holed up under furniture while being dive-bombed by pterasaurs.

And the solution to this flying prehistoric problem? Pheromones.  The stink of the call of the wild to attract the annoying little buggers out of the compound and far, far away. (I sighed already up there … didn’t I? Okay … I’ll refrain from sighing once again.)

I thought my issues from the premiere 2-parter were pesky enough … but now The Powers That Be have inflicted this drivel on us, wrapping it in pretty bows and trying to slough it off at us as viable storytelling. Holy crap.

Is this anyway to treat a (once) promising science fiction series?

Surprise! Michael has issues:

• I know! Let’s go outside at night in a prehistoric world of unknown to check out strange noises barefoot … and without any weapons! *yeesh*
• “Dad … how do you know if a boy likes you?” Really? That’s the kind of dialog we’re treated to on Terra Nova?
• Brilliant: Finally, The Shannons get things in order, all is calm and quiet and they get to reward themselves with a little “one on one” time at the show’s conclusion. We see the shadow-outlining doors to their room close as they presumably “get down to business”, knowing all the kids are passed out from the day’s antics with the bir … I mean, pterasaurs. Think one or more of them could possibly wake up seeing undulating shapes coming from mom and dad’s room? *eyesh*
• Dead bodies of soldiers are returned from outside the compound for examination, having been in the wild overnight. What are the chances they weren’t picked clean by the local fauna of Terra Nova leaving Dr. Shannon the opportunity for easy examination of the bodies? (Warning: Blatant, dripping sarcasm headed your way. Come on … say it with me.) “Pretty damned good, Michael!”
• Is Zoe always going to get into some sort of life-threatening situation episode in and episode out?
• The Terra Nova marketplace: Best place for a young love date ever. Ever.

Clacked by Michael Noble
on Oct 04, 2011 @ 10:22 EST5EDT