The Wonder Woman Rant – Monthly Musings

The reason the Wonder Woman television project didn’t work is because there’s something fundamentally wrong with how Wonder Woman is written as a comic character. When I compare Wonder Woman to Batman or Superman, her alter-ego isn’t as fleshed-out. She lacks a solid back-story and is too much of a frat boy’s wet dream. As a superhero, Wonder Woman works; but, as Diana Prince, she doesn’t. Anyone writing Wonder Woman has to start from scratch.  Is it any wonder David E. Kelly had difficulty?

Before I get started, let me lay my Wonder Woman history down for you. I am a longtime fan of comics and Wonder Woman. The first comic I ever read was my brother’s copy of The Cat featuring Greer Grant Nelson. My childhood incorporated Superfriends, Wonder Woman Underoos, a Wonder Woman Fisher Price Storybook: Wonder Woman in Cheetah on the Prowl (which I begged my mother for in the second grade), various Justice League comics and Lynda Carter.

Based on that experience (sarcasm-included), I’ve realized what needs to happen if anyone ever undertakes Wonder Woman as a TV or film project in the future.

If you must use male writers, make certain they can write believable female characters. Male writers are afraid to make female characters strong like male characters (excluding Joss Whedon, of course). Usually, they dilute them with a weepy or flirty personality to “humanize” them. I loved Wonder Woman as a kid. But, as an adult, I never bought her as a believable Amazon. For an alleged feminist, she spent most of her time hanging out with the all-male Justice League and didn’t do much humanitarian work outside their halls. DC retconning her as a peace-oriented Themyisciran ambassador worked, but she still felt muted.

However, after reading the original comics, THAT Wonder Woman with the bad perm, the chunky body, the thigh-length skirt/unflattering biker pants, and the loud-mouthed friend, Etta Candy, made sense. She was unrepenitent in her strength, spent most of her time with the Beeta Lambda sorority, and acted less like a male wet dream. While we credit William Moulton Marston as the creator, his wife, Elizabeth Halloway, a lawyer, editor, and psychologist, suggested making the character “Superwoman.” Plus, she (and his former student/lover/assistant, Olive Byrne) helped develop/inspire the character. Sure, Moulton included bondage themes, but maybe the original character seemed real to me because of her real world influences.

Wonder Woman  has the intelligence of Condoleezza Rice and the physique of Serena Williams.  We should see more of these real world characteristics in her character. We rarely see Superman or Batman break into tears, unless it’s something extreme like … the death of a protege. I don’t want to see Batman cry because the person he met five years ago is dating someone else. Sure, David E. Kelly probably wanted to soften Wonder Woman, but, if that’s what sets her off, she’s in the wrong line of work.

Make her personality more realistic.  Honestly, she’s too perfect. Although DC recently started playing  up her violent nature,  she doesn’t have any drawbacks for writers to pull from. While Superman’s too naive and Batman’s a total dick, Wonder Woman doesn’t have any personality quirks. That was part of the problem with David E. Kelly’s script. His Wonder Woman was too good and too adored by those around her.

Make her body more realistic. Look at half of the serious female athletes out there. Yea, Wonder Woman’s  the world’s strongest woman, but she doesn’t look it. Of course, that’s my biggest complaint with comics. If the hottest women in the world (i.e. Halle Berry as Storm) can’t look like  their comic counterparts, but guys like Michael Keaton can play Batman, then there’s something wrong with the model. My biggest problem with Adrienne Palicki was she didn’t look like a 6′ amazon who could kick ass. Instead, she looked like a model whose ass my two-year-old niece could kick.

Clacked by An Nicholson
on Sep 13, 2011 @ 15:23 EST5EDT