I was drawn to watching it because I couldn’t believe a show was on the air about beards … but that was nothing compared to my disbelief following the show: there is such a thing as competitive facial hair growing!
That’s right, Whisker Wars is about the competitive sport of bearding, and it follows competitors as they duke it out around the United States, on their way to Norway and the World Championship Competition.
A lot of drama seems to stem from the Austin Facial Hair Club’s consideration of seceding from the “union” that is Beard Team USA. I’ll be honest … for much of the time that they were discussing secession, I thought they were referring to Texas Governor Rick Perry’s inference — whether interpreted accurately or not — that he’d consider seceding from the United States. It didn’t dawn on me until the end of the episode that it was the handful of guys who make up the Austin beard club who wanted to separate themselves from the rest of the competitors vying to be called Beard Team USA.
Okay, so that’s about the extent of what I can say about this show without just making fun of it, so I’ll leave it at that. Instead, I’d like to consider what other “recognized” competitions are out there that you and I never knew about. Here’s a sampling of what I’ve discovered:
The Rock Paper Scissors World Championships Unlike bearding, I know people “compete” at this game … but a world championship? Better yet: first prize is almost $10 thousand!
The International Birdman Championship Crazy people build flying machines and jump off of high platforms in an attempt to see who can stay aloft the longest. Isn’t this the basis of some cartoon character’s life?
World Sauna Championships Does anyone ever outlast the old Russian Mafiya guard?
Papa Look-Alike competition I wonder if undergoing plastic surgery is considered “juicing” in this contest to see who looks the most like Ernest Hemingway.
The Hangang High Wire World Championships Walking eighty feet above ground on a high wire, set the fastest time for traversing a half mile. Is this without a net?
Tug Fest Tug-of-war is nothing new, but this competition sets one team on one side of the Mississippi River … and the other team on the other side. Losing team gets dunked in the largest river in the country.
World Rubik’s Cube Championship I wasn’t shocked at this one, but perhaps because it isn’t surprising for this competition to exist it’s not quite as simple as solving a Rubik’s Cube the fastest. Apparently competitors must be prepared to solve the little cube while doing other things, like juggling or blindfolded, or even with their feet!
The One-Foot High Kick Kick a dangling item suspended high in the air with one foot … and then land on the ground on that same foot. I imagine it must be harder than it sounds. Has to be, right?
So now how odd is it that people out there are competitive beard growers? Okay, still pretty unusual … but at least they’re not alone! Any unusual contests of your own? Add them in the comments below!
Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Aug 30, 2011 @ 11:00 EST5EDT
