“Who likes good news? (Everyone raises their hand) Everyone? Then good news everyone! Our next delivery isn’t to some dangerous outer-space planet. It’s to Earth!” – Professor
“Earth is dangerous! I fell off my chair there once.” – Fry
“Jeeze, I better be more careful. I don’t wanna hit on anybody I already had sex with.” – Bender
“Isn’t it true, Mister X, that you were slandering this innocent mafioso to distract from your own felonious past, including a crime you made up yourself called burgalarsonarsony?” – Defense lawyer
“That’s a wholly-owned trademark of Rodriquez Crime Concepts, Inc.!” – Bender
“You are charged with two counts of burgalarsonarsony. How do you plead?” – Judge
“Not … innoguiltycent!” – Bender
“Honey, if you’re marrying Bender, you might want to get a black dress for the wedding.” – Donbot
“That’s gonna look hot!” – Donbot’s daughter
“Don’t be scared, Bender. We’re putting you in the witness relocation program. You’ll be given a new identity, a new place to live, and this iPod — I don’t want it anymore.” – Fed robot
“So I gotta hide forever?!” – Bender
“No. Just until the robot mafia finds and kills you. They’re pretty good at that.” – Fed bot
“Sorry mister, but I’m no Bender. I’m just a simple farmer. Name’s Billy West.” – Bender look-alike, Billy West
” (Laughs) Billy West. What a stupid, phoney, made up name.” – Fry
“Recon I was born a farmer. Folks say my mama was a hoe.” – Billy West
“So that moon hillbilly who got murdered was just an innocent husband and father!” – Leela
“YAY!” – Everyone