America’s Next Top Model – Next stop Morocco

We’re off on the road to Morocco

This camel is tough on the spine (hit me with a band-aid, Dad)

Where they’re goin’, why we’re goin’, how can we be sure

I’ll lay you eight to five that we’ll meet Dorothy Lamour (yeah, get in line)

Road to Morocco video clip

Thanks Bing and Bob, for that musical introduction! It’s time to pack our bags, y’all – the ANTM gang is Morocco-bound for their annual trip abroad! But before we can all slather on the sunscreen and position our pith helmets, we have a little bit of business still here in the States. Like Go-Sees. And complaining.  Six beautiful girls are still hanging around, but Miss Tyra only has plane tickets for five. What to do…

So this is the time in every America’s Next Top Model season – excuse me, cycle – that I stop and take a look at the credits just to refresh myself on who’s still around and who’s been sent packing. Had a lot of “who the heck is that moments” with some of the girls. OK – most of them, save for the ones who are still around. But what I really noticed was how weird the outfits are in the opening credits. Leotards and tights. But very modern. Miss Tyra even has like three costume changes in the whole thing.  Crazy. It reminded me of a futuristic Jane Fonda exercise video. I kept expecting to see her bound in, sporting leg warmers, ready to lead the gang in a set of doggie leg lifts to combat those pesky outer thigh saddlebag issues.

Anyhoo.

In a twist, the standard go-see challenge is held State-side, rather in the international destination. Kyle Hagler of IMG Models drops by the model house to brief the girls on the rules. Four castings, each featuring a different model archetype, four hours, car and driver for each girl, who must navigate herself without assistance from her chauffeur. There’s the usual chaos with girls getting lost, trying to read maps, hedging their bets by checking into the final stop too early and getting competitive with each other at the castings. Molly especially seems unhinged by the requirements of this task – her talking heads are escalating in their angst. The big organic carrot at the end of the go-see stick is that the top three finishers in the challenge earn the chance to go to a fifth casting at the Lana Marks (apparently a renowned handbag designer) salon. With Jaclyn and Brittani only making two of four castings and Hannah not being terribly spectacular (oh, that runway walk), Alexandria, Molly and Kasia are chosen to sell their stuff along with some handbags.  The prize for this is pretty substantial: the winner will be featured in a campaign for the Lana Marks handbag line, will receive a gift bag of items from the go-see casting clients and will get a replica of the Cleopatra clutch Angelina Jolie carried one year at the Oscars. There’s also a question/interview segment, giving this whole thing the feel of a Miss Model America pageant. The red-hot Alexandria wins, much to the ire of Molly, who cannot seem to shake her resentment. Speaking of which, Brittani spends most of her screen time mired in mea culpas and eating humble pie for her breakdown/tantrum from last week. So. Much. Drama.

You know when the highlight of a Nigel Barker photo shoot involves a bird pooping on Mr. Jay that it’s not all that spectacular. With a trash dump as the background, the girls posed among the decomposing ruins in eco-friendly fashions crafted by designer Michael Cinco out of recycled materials. The dresses were cool, though, and the ladies make the best of what had to be a really smelly situation. Interestingly, Alexandria is not the biggest pill on set – that title goes to Molly, who, when she is not on camera, is distracted and disgruntled. That attitude lands her in the bottom two, but she survives and the delightful Southern belle Jaclyn is sent packing, sadly not for Morocco but for home.

Next week: a mid-season recap the producers are calling “Highlights and Catfights.” That sort of sums it up nicely, doesn’t it.

Quote of the night:

“I’m so screwed. The only other map I’ve ever read was in world geography and Lord help me, because I always got in trouble for talking in that class. “ – Jaclyn

Clacked by Jane Graves
on Apr 15, 2011 @ 15:00 EST5EDT