Quotation Marks – Afternoon Delight

We all knew that Glee‘s Emma was a bit … Odd. Though, as Chuck has pointed out, in recent weeks she has improved. But even I know what Afternoon Delight is about. Did our favorite kids from McKinley High give us the best quotes of the week, or was it Bob’s Burgers? Tell us in the comments what you think!

Glee (Review)

“Don’t you think it’s time for the Warblers to do a Joan Armatrading medley?” – Kurt

“I’m not interested in any labels … unless it’s on something I shoplifted.” – Santana

“Afternoon Delight is a dessert! It’s made with coconut, pineapple and Marshmallow Fluff.” – Emma

“Girlfriend, what’s up with that? He’s hot; you’re 30.” – Holly wondering why Emma and Carl have not had sex

Bob’s Burgers (Review)

“Why is everyone reading (Tina’s) diary?” — Bob
“It’s well written.” — Gene
“She’s better on the page than in person.” — Louise
“And what if the Nazis get us and it’s all we have of our family?” — Gene

“Dad, you won’t regret this. When I kiss Jimmy Jr. under the disco ball, it will be like we’re all kissing Jimmy Jr. under the disco ball.” — Tina
“I call first!” — Gene
“Really?” — Louise
“Well if I’m going to kiss him, I’m not going after you guys …” — Gene
“I’ll go last. I’m fine with that …” — Lynda
“We’re not kissing Jimmy Jr. … !!!” — Bob

“So … ‘Marshmallow’ … how’d you get your name?” — Louise to transvestite hooker
“Because if you show me a sweet potato pie, I am on top of it …” — Marshmallow

“It’s go time, Tina. I want his kids to have hickeys….” — Louise urging on Tina just before her first kiss

“Come boys: You’re the peanut butter! Girls: You’re the jelly! Let’s make some sammiches … !!!” — DJ Gene encouraging everyone to dance

“Guess who learned a lot about transvestites last night?” – Bob
“I was only on that website for like two seconds!” – Gene
“… No, I was talking about me. I picked up a group of transvestite hookers who showed me a side of this town I never knew existed. And Gene, you’re banned from the computer for two days.” – Bob
“After what I saw, I’m fine with that.” – Gene

“I’m tired and I might be a pimp.” — Bob
“You’re going to need a bigger hat!” – Louise

CBS Sunday Morning

“I have been often asked what ski school have I attended. And you know what my answer is? ‘What flying school did the Wright Brothers attend?'” — Lou Batori, 100 year-old skier

Desperate Housewives (Review)

“Let me tell you something about life. Anything that’s worth doing is hard.” – Gaby
“That’s what life is?!” — Juanita

“So, have you killed someone?” — Rev. Sikes
“Excuse me?” — Bree
“I’ve always found the treats you prepare for my visits are a reliable indicator of your level of spiritual turmoil. The more exquisite the baked goods, the more anguished your soul. This is a hazelnut, chocolate chip scone with currants! So I ask again, have you killed someone?” — Rev. Sikes

“Donate a kidney? Have we met? I’m like a hundred and twelve.” — Mrs. McClusky

“As the gayest person at this brunch, I feel it is my duty to say … FAB-ulous!” — Lee

“Sorry about last night. I bought this for the baby.” — Renee, handing Lynette a crystal star paperweight
“Wow. Expensive, fragile, pointy. If only it were flammable.” — Lynette

Top Chef

“Howard Johnson’s called — they want their garnish back.” –Tom Colicchio

Raising Hope

“Can I get you something to eat?” — Virginia
“No, no need to spray cheese on anything.” — Bruce

“For your information, Mike went on a spiritual quest about six months ago; moved in with a large group of like minded people and as there’s been no reports of mass suicides on the news — we assume he’s doing very well.” — Burt

“I wish your Dad were here for this, but he’s busy being a big throbbin’ tool. Let’s call and rub the happy news in his face.” — Burt

“Make sure you keep your distance, so you don’t let him lure you in like he did with that cult that worships Josh Groban.” — Virginia
“I wasn’t that caught up in that. I swear to Josh! I mean … God.” — Jimmy

American Idol (Review, Review, and Review)

“It built from the beginning to the end … by the time it ended, it was just soaring like a volcano; that was beautiful.” — Steven Tyler

“… Charlie Chapman, but (someone states offscreen: “Chaplin”) … Chaplin?” — Thia Megia

“I want to be felt.” — Casey Abrams

Rules of Engagement

“Remind me not to come over to your place for a pillow fight.” – Adam to Audrey, after she told him that one pound of feather and lead are the same thing

“Tomorrow’s my anniversary.” – Jeff
“Hey, congrats man. How man years?” – Adam
“Sixteen.” – Jeff
“If your marriage was a girl I could date it.” – Russell
“That would be eighteen.” – Jeff
“It is? When did they change that?” – Russell

“Your relationship is different than mine.” – Adam to Jeff, after hearing Jeff’s plans to beat Audrey at their anniversary

Off the Map (Review)

“In all the years I’ve been down here, I’ve never seen anything that will take down a village faster than waterborne illness [Watches water taxi crash] … Except maybe that.” – Keeton

“You want to know what else is funny? Kidney failure, blindness, stroke, massive heart attack….” – Minard
“Guess I’m going to be screwed.” – Patient
“….and impotence, so, um, no.” – Minard