Parenthood – Putting a positive spin on Asperger’s

I probably would’ve cried too I had been in Kristina’s position, telling my son that he’s got something no one else in the family has. I would’ve likely verbally stumbled like Adam did, inadvertently invoked the words “disability” and “tough” when explaining the syndrome to his little boy, something their son Max’s therapist would later say was a mistake.

They should’ve, instead, been more positive about the cool things Asperger’s gives him, the therapist told Adam and Kristina. And then he handed them a script to follow during their next chat with Max.

Nothing sucks more than trying to be sensitive to your child’s needs, and yet you still wind up blowing it because you’re only human; you have your emotional reactions to what’s happening just like your kid does. I felt nothing but compassion for Adam and Kristina as they argued over whether they should use the script the therapist gave them, which Adam thought was a bunch of lies, phony PR talking points, which made Asperger’s seem like it’s fabulous when it’s not. Kristina, however, wanted to give it a try.

It all felt very real, the way they reacted and processed things both emotionally and intellectually. They questioned whether they needed to feed their son what Adam saw as propaganda, or if they should focus on making him feel good about some of the positive things that accompany this syndrome, like an amazing memory, which is going to be with him for the rest of his life. Parenthood could’ve easily allowed this storyline to slip into overly-sappy, emotionally-manipulative territory — Private Practice does this all the time with parent-child storylines and I hate it. But the writers chose a more authentic route, one that was marked by well intentioned parents making mistakes, disagreeing with one another and ultimately muddling through and doing whatever it takes to try to help their child find his way in the world.

This is something Parenthood is doing more and more It’s taking the time to examine parenting decisions, both large and small, and giving us depictions of the thought processes mothers and fathers go through. We see how they decide to handle when your young kid suddenly declares that she’s a vegetarian; when your teen daughter openly defies you and dates a boy you’ve told her she can’t date, when you son won’t clean up his room; or when your grown son, who’s a father himself, sabotages his wedding engagement and you later have to bail him out of jail.

The other side stories — Sarah’s new-found love for writing and her surprising decision to ask the guy from The Event to read her work; Crosby and Jasmine’s tense estrangement, and, related to that,  Zeek and Camille trying to attend to their son’s emotional pain by trying to guilt Adam into forgiving and supporting Crosby — weren’t anywhere near as poignant as th Asperger’s story. But I did like the portrayal of how, no matter how old your children are, parents still try to parent and make things better for their son, even when they know he’s in the wrong, as Zeek and Camille were doing, protecting their “baby.”

Clacked by Meredith O'Brien
on Mar 02, 2011 @ 11:16 EST5EDT