Feminism, gays and lesbians … not necessarily in that order

by Debbie McDuffee

How a discussion about the staff writers taking on regular columns came to this, I'll never know, but Julia and Jay's behind-the-scenes tete-a-tete was screaming to become public.

JULIA: (on why Clacking With Julia hasn’t been a regular column) … I was keeping myself relatively in check because of much public eye-rolling. I was pretty sure I was the only one who cared about the ladies and the gays.

JAY: Not sure exactly what you’re all talking about, but I want to make it clear how much I love gay ladies. I watch their movies on the internet and talk them up whenever I can on the PodClack.

JULIA: Yes, but what if we had gay dudes on TV that did more than tell us how to dress and sang show tunes? What if Steve and Danny on Hawaii Five-0 actually got together instead of just being the least subtle couple in the history of the universe? What if “bromances” were put under the same amount of scrutiny that any male-female friendship was? There would apparently be anarchy.

JAY: Whoa, whoa, whoa. Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. Can’t we just start with Annie and Britta kissing on Community and see where it goes from there?

JULIA: What if when women kissed, it wasn’t for male enjoyment, but because they legitimately had feelings for each other? What if women on television were allowed to be butch and less “feminine”? And what if THOSE women kissed? Because, you know, they’re lesbians. Not bi-curious girls attempting to get a rise out of a male audience?

Again, anarchy.

JAY: All of these are fair points, I assume. I really haven’t been thinking about much else since constructing an elaborate scenario involving Britta consoling Annie about their respective problems with Jeff.

Actually, now that I think about it, the world you paint Julia is actually far, far better than the world of erotic Community Fan-Fiction that I seem to be sliding towards. Sure there is inequality in your world, but in mine? There’s nothing but a laptop, a hotel in Utica, and a sad fantasy that might just get written tonight.

Excuse me for a moment, I need to see if I have enough Tylenol PM to kill myself.

Have fun storming the castle, Julia!

DEBBIE: And Jay, this one’s for you — oh, so close:

Photo Credit: NBC