Skating With The Stars – Sean Young bounces herself off the ice

So: How do you follow-up a doinky flub-filled premiere where the host doesn’t know how to use his microphone and the expected falls from the mostly-newbie ‘stars’ never materialize?

Well … with even more doinky, flub-filled frolickry, that’s how.

Yes, there was more mayhem on the rink during Skating With The Stars this episode. So much so that it’s hardly worth critiquing the performances of the contestants for all the secondary monkey business that took place over the first two airings.

Here’s what I’ll do – a lightning-fast, bare bones recap, then we’ll get into the fun of the program. What say you? Yes? All right! I knew you’d be on board that train … !!!

The Good: Jonny Moseley and partner Brooke … Brandon Mychal Smith and partner Keauna … Rebecca Budig and partner Fred. All three attained varying degrees of showmanship and second-week brilliance in their performances. All three stars are coming along nicely.

The Bad: Vince Neil and partner Jennifer Wester (brilliant fall and reasonable recovery). Sean Young and partner Denis (Not one but two sprawling falls from Sean. But, trooper that she is, she picked herself back up and soldiered on.)

The Ugly: Bethenny Frankel and partner Ethan. (Even the polka dots couldn’t mask the robotic routine Bethenny committed. It was mentioned at one point that she “kept up with Ethan,” but the fact of the matter was he dialed down his part so Bethany could keep up!)

The End Result: Sean’s awkwardness and double plunges onto the ice got rewarded with her “nixation” from the competition. (You just knew it had to be either Sean or Vince to get the boot.) And there you have it — nothing spectacular, other than the fact the top three actually did pretty damned good for this stage of the competition.

The fun of the program, however, came from the sidelines, not from the routines. Good ‘ole judge Dick Buttons held up a “7” paddle while scoring a routine, but stated “8” when called on. Meanwhile, host Vernon Kay said Dick had held up an “8” while calling out “7”. *snort*

And that Vern: You just gotta love him. Calling Vince’s partner Jennifer Wester “Brooke Wester” at one point, he vacillated several times trying to get her name straight. It’s like a three-ring circus out there with this dude … half the fun of the hour! A bit later – and on the air, no less – you could hear him chanting “… Jennifer … Jennifer … Jennifer …” in an effort to try and remember her name. Brilliant!

“Our second week of competition is well underway,” Vern shot out at one point, but I could have sworn he said “Our second week of competition is … well … underway.” (Personally, I think my interpretation is better.) Of Bethenny and her polka-dot outfit, he commented at the end of her routine: “So cute … like a beautiful Minnie Mouse!”

Lastly, to close out the show, Vern ended with some simply brilliant cheese:

“Next week, the coolest show on the air … heats up!”

Oh … absolutely Vern!

Look: Don’t think of Skating With The Stars as a skating competition – think of it as an hour’s worth of unintentional comedy to end an otherwise dreary Monday. Join me next Monday, won’t you?

Clacked by Michael Noble
on Nov 30, 2010 @ 18:36 EST5EDT