Sometimes when I try to sit down and review an episode that’s not so great, I have a lot to gripe about. Then there’s the episodes where you think the producers, writers, and actors have knocked a homer out of the park, left it all out on the field, and had nothing really to add by talking about it (That is way too many baseball references for someone who’s not a big fan of the sport).
Ted, Barney, and Robin were outstanding. Barney’s almost-slap of Marshall was probably one of the best call-back references in this show, ever. Punchy’s appearance was probably a big clue to my most pressing question about the season. And, well, then there were beavers. And The Beaver Song, which we here at CliqueClack HQ have transcribed for you!
The Beaver Song
Hey, Beaver come on
When you feel alone
Just pick up that phone
And I’ll be there to share my ice cream cone
We’ll lick it side by side
And deep inside you’ll know
Before the day is done
Two beavers are better than one
Da da da da da da da da da da da da
Two beavers are better than one
They’re twice the fun
Ask anyone
A second beaver can be
Second to none
Two beavers are better than one!
Da da da da da (You’re my favorite beaver)
Da da da da da (Space Teens are forever)
Da da da da da (Don’t forget to do your homework)
‘Cuz math’s cool!
We’ll share a root beer float
And learn aboot how friendship weighs
A metric ton
Two beavers are better than one
Da da da da da da da da da da da da
Two beavers are better than one
They’re twice the fun
Ask anyone
A second beaver can be
Second to none
Two beavers are better than one!
Two beavers are better than one!
Two beavers are better than one!
Two beavers are better than one! (Beautiful, beautiful beavers!)
Notes & Quotes
- “Why are you wearing [the flower]?” – Robin
“Why does Barney do anything, ever?” – Ted
“Exactly. Science! There is a 83% correlation between the times men wear boutonnieres, and the times they get laid.” – Barney
“I guess suits are pretty boring without them.” – Robin
“Aaaaaah! Madam, that is an insult that cannot be borne. I demand satisfaction!” – Barney
“What, are we going to duel?” – Robin
“No, I’m going to show everybody this embarrassing video of you. It’s Robin Sparkles Three, y’all!!” – Barney
- “I cannot wait to see what’s on this DVD!” – Barney
“Oh, you haven’t watched it yet?” – Marshall
“Of course not, I wanted my first time to be with someone I cared about.“—Barney
“I get that a lot. Well, once.” – Marshall
- Porn Flakes, Pornucopia …
- “Great job using long division to catch that space burglar, eh?” – Glitter
“Well, what can I say? He’ll be in galactic jail for the remainder of his life.” – Robin Sparkles
- “Robin, this show is so dirty, I don’t know whether to hug you or run a shower for you so you can sit their alone clutching your knees.” – Ted
“Guys sorry. We’ve got to ration this. It’s like we’re on a desert island. This video is a really hot naked chick and she’s got like seaweed on her and a seashell bra. You guys feel me.” – Barney
- Lily’s ability to tell how old a kid is down to the month is a bit freaky.
- “Two dudes on a couch together watching porn? That’s kind of weird.” – Barney
“It’s not porn, it’s a kids show!” – Robin
“Two dudes watching a kids show might be worse.” —Ted
- “So, before you Lily all over the place, maybe you should try hanging out with Robin and not talk about babies.” – Robin
- “Oh my god, you’re not even pregnant yet.” – Robin
“What’s that supposed to mean?!?” — Lily
“It means that a fertilized egg has not yet attached itself to your uterine wall! See, I read your Facebook updates!” – Robin
- Did you catch all of Barney’s “Being kicked off a reality show montage?”
- “Honey when you have a baby, all that best friend stuff … Hockey, bow hunting for caribou, math … that all goes out the window.” – Jessica
- Punchy’s getting married? Well, I guess that throws out all of my other theories about who’s wedding we saw in the season premiere.
- “I hate most babies. But your baby? I’m going to love that kid so much … I’m going to pick it up and everything!” – Robin
Photo Credit: CBS
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Clacked by Ivey West
on Nov 15, 2010 @ 20:30 EST5EDT
I hope that wasn’t Punchy’s wedding in the season opener. Who cares about Punchy? I was hoping it was Robin and Barney.
Oh man..Robin and Barney?..that is weird..Barney and someone else?..xD..I know-they dated together but wedding?..I hope that isn´t Barney´s wedding..everyone loves Barney like a single man with cool catchphrases..:D
I would’ve gone for trying to list all the Reality Show dismissals or listing all the people who suddenly showed up during the duett at the end (bear, hockey player, mountie, the head of state, the queen, the flag coming down).
Or the things that were funny like grabbing that joystick by the two girls and the Asteroids-like game in the background. Or “how much wood do I need”. Or solving that question and giving the answer here. (Robin’s beaver devours 6 inches of wood every half hour, and Jessica’s beaver devours 8 inches every 45 minutes, how much wood does he need to keep them well fed all weekend long (which would be a 48 hour timeframe)). The answer is 48*6*(60/30)+48*8*(60/45)=576+512=1088 inches of wood – not taking thickness into account (see what I did there? Long setup, additinal joke).
There was so much funny stuff on this episode and you manage to list everything that was in between in your quotes. 75% of this post is quotes. I mean I saw the episode, why again would I want to read what I just saw without any additional things listed, like, say, the inside jokes. Oh I know. Long division. With remainder. Ha…
Or how Robin mentioned her mother having been at the doctor and Lily showing her a crib. A bad taste joke which really made me laugh.
What would be kinda weird though is if you actually laughed at the things you mentioned and didn’t at all the other things. That would be a head-scratcher.
Just please tell me you were a mathlete and that long division jokes really had you in stitches.
Oh and: “so you can sit their”
*POST AUTHOR*
I’m sorry you don’t like the way I cover the show, but I write what I think is interesting and funny, and this week was the quotes. If you’re not interested, I don’t know what to tell you.
I have a different answer for how many inches of wood they’ll need, actually. You might have missed where Alan mentioned it was a 3 day intergalactic trip, which would explain the discrepancy. I worked it out like this: Robin’s beaver goes through 6 inches of wood every half hour (6 inches/.5 hrs), while Jessica’s beaver needs 8 inches every 45 minutes (8 inches/.75 hrs).
I multiplied .5 by 6 and .75 by 4, resulting in three hours each. I then took Robin’s beaver’s 6 inches and multiplied by six for 36, while multiplying Jessica’s beaver’s 8 inches by 4 for 32. You then take how many 3 hour intervals there are in a day (24 / 3 = 8) and multiply that by 3 days (8 * 3 = 24) for the number of times the beavers will need to be fed.
We take this number and multiply by 36 for Robin’s beaver (24 * 36 = 864 inches). Jessica’s beaver only needs 32 inches, so we can take Robin’s beaver’s 36 inches and subtract those 32 inches for 4. Multiply that by 24 (24 * 4 = 96) and subtract the sum from the total received for Robin’s beaver (864 – 96 = 768 inches). Adding the totals together (864 + 768 = 1,632 inches) shows how much wood is necessary for the 3-day intergalactic trip.
I also liked the stealth joke when Robin and Jessica were destroying asteroids right at the end of the first segment of the video. Alan goes “Don’t stop now! Almost there! *Deep voice* 23 times 3?” And Barney cuts the video before someone can scream 69. Classy, HIMYM.
About the “Well, I guess that throws out all of my other theories about who’s wedding we saw in the season premiere”
Why would Marshall be at Punchy’s wedding… and in a tux? Would Punchy invite Ted’s friends?
Even though Im not 100% convinced its Punchy’s wedding, I do think that it makes since. I could see Marshmellow wanting to be at a wedding where Ted was best man. Since they ARE best friends (sorry Barney).