Quotation Marks – South Park takes on Jersey Shore

Enjoy the quotes, because we’re getting into repeat mode … one of the worst times of the year for a lover of TV. Baseball, putting things off for sweeps.  My favorites of the bunch this week goes to South Park v. The Jersey Shore. Colorado FTW! And here we go….

Desperate Housewives

“I was plenty cool in college. The only reason I didn’t smoke back then was because I signed the abstinence pledge with my Dungeons & Dragons club.” – Tom

“I have never seen so many sweater sets. Are you sure this is a closet and not a portal to the 1950s?” – Bree looking for something sexy in Bree’s closet

“I happen to find it distasteful when mutton is dressed as lamb.” – Bree referring to Renee’s sexy clubbing outfit

House

“You’re the Rosa Parks of hooker massage.” – Wilson to House

“Would you mind standing next to the screen?” – House, with the fellows, to Kelly
“Yeah, she’d love to become a target for your ridicule.” – Chase to House
“She isn’t already?” – House

Lie to Me

“She’s a sadist.” – Gillian (about Megan)
“She’s a bloody emotional vampire.” – Cal
“…We need to involve the police. The real ones.” – Gillian
“Spoilsport.” – Cal

Glee

“He’s on Team Gay. No straight boy does his hair to look like Linda Evangelista circa 1993.” – Kurt speculating about Sam’s sexuality

“All I want is a normal salad that doesn’t have chicken feet in it!” – Tina flipping out about having traditional Asian meals with Mike’s mother

30 Rock

“It was pretty scary. I mean, well, not like the stuff I saw while in the air force, of course. Like this one time a bunch of us pilots got together, we went to a haunted house in Germany. That was messed up!” – Carol, on his rough flight

“It was the best of both worlds. I got to feel martyred and indignant all day and then I still got to eat cake off the floor.” – Liz, on everyone forgetting her birthday

Raising Hope

“Jimmy, if you don’t make your move soon, you’re going to end up in the friends zone. And that is a real thing. I saw it. On Friends.” – Virginia

Modern Family

“The Quinceañera is very important in the Latin culture. The moment the father dances with his little princess … Ay, I remember my own father holding my hand. There wasn’t a dry eye in the cartel.” – Gloria

Cougar Town

“Laurie, when you slept with Grayson, you did not know that I liked him. Plus, I had been pushing you to start sleeping with guys who wore shirts to work.”- Jules
“You dreamed so big for me, Jules.” – Laurie

“Sweetie, the fresh-faced girl in this picture died a long time ago. You smothered her when you slept on her face for 20 years.” Ellie

Chuck

“You wear your teeth bleaching system in front of me. We should be able to talk, no?” – Chuck to Sarah

Grey’s Anatomy

“How would you feel if she called your penis angry or snide?” Meredith to Derek after she’d been lamenting the fact a doctor called her uterus “hostile.”

South Park

“As many of you already know, everything east of the Rockies is now part of New Jersey. The Jersey Shore now includes Jacksonville, Miami, the Gulf of Jersey-Mexico, and the Jersey Islands.” – Randy Marsh

“And what about the families of the victims of 9/11? Their feelings matter for another ten months, dammit!” – Mr. Scotch

“That thing’s from Jersey too!” – Crazed citizen
“What is it?” – Randy Marsh
“It’s called a ‘Snookie.’ It’s very famous.” – Crazed citizen
“That thing is famous? Why?” – Randy Marsh
“I DON’T KNOW!” – Crazed citizen

Clacked by Carissa Pavlica
on Oct 18, 2010 @ 09:00 EST5EDT