Julia: Oh thank God, I thought I was the only one picking up on that innuendo. I shouted out a totally inappropriate “THAT’S WHAT SHE SAID” before reminding myself that even though clearly my brain disagrees, this is supposed to be family-friendly.
But on a very serious and shallow note, Cenred. Hi. How are you? Welcome to the show. You make being evil look awesome.
Ruby: And Morgana is back and more stunning than ever (come on, those luscious dark curls have to be magically enhanced). I enjoy seeing the freakishly good-looking Gorlois sisters together. They’re so beautiful, the glare from their combined beauty hurts my eyeballs (in a good way).
Julia: What is it about evil that makes people look so good? Or have such awesome hair? If I conquered a small island nation, would my eyes suddenly become ten times more piercing? Would my hair float on an invisible breeze? Because even when she came out of the woods all crazy, Morgana was still ten times hotter than me on my best day, and that’s just uncool. And they smirk so well!
Ruby: I felt the smirking was hamming it up a bit. I mean, how many evil smirks can you do before you enter Disney villain territory? Someone needs to go back and count those smirks, maybe start a new drinking game.
Julia: What I thought was weird was most of them were cut-away smirks, like the camera wasn’t even on Morgana and then wham, there she is smirking. I feel like the directors were like, “Yes, Katie, you look lovely smirking just … smirk some more! That’s it!” And then they edited them in, just in case you missed the memo that she’s super-duper evil. Which, you know, Merlin did.
Ruby: I didn’t buy Morgana’s sobbing and boohooing for one second. “I’m so sorry, Merlin! It’s all my fault you had to poison me because I was being naughty!”
Julia: I’m pretty sure only Merlin was stupid enough to believe that. I’m pretty sure even Gaius didn’t buy that. At least, that’s what I divined from his eyebrows.
Ruby: Shouldn’t Gaius have been a little more worried about Merlin and the whole I-poisoned-Morgana thing? He’s like, “I don’t want to think about that. I’ll think about that tomorrow.” That didn’t exactly work out for Scarlett O’Hara, Gaius! One word from Morgana, and Uther would have killed Merlin with his bare hands. I think he should have at least said, “If it makes you feel any better, Merlin, we’ll sit down after dinner and plan an emergency escape route, just in case Uther comes after you with an axe.” He was off his game. You know what else he did? He left the guy who was stabbed — the only witness — alone and helpless in an unlocked, unguarded room. “Gaius, shouldn’t we post a guard or something?” “Eh, he’ll be fine. Come on, let’s go see Uther acting crazy. I’ll bring the popcorn.”
Julia: Uther, to be fair, is not exactly in top form here either. I don’t get exactly why he was so verklempt about Morgana, since they hadn’t exactly left on the best of terms and he seemed to be saying he missed her beyond the confines of a father-daughter bond to the point where I raised my eyebrows and repeated this is a family show, this is a family show to myself a few hundred times. But then again, I am attempting to apply rational thinking to Uther Pendragon, so I should stop right there.
But seriously, the guy’s going crazy. He’s seeing a tiny dripping boy, which they seem to have gotten from the same warehouse where they got Mordred, called, I think, Creepy But Adorable British Children R’ Us.
Ruby: In case you didn’t catch it, here’s the recipe for Instant Crazy: 1 tear-soaked hanky, 1 mandrake that screams like a little girl, and 1 giant vat of Jell-o chocolate pudding.
Julia: Here is my problem with Morgana and Morgause’s plan of turning Uther crazy. One, they seem to have forgotten that Arthur exists, so even if Uther’s crazy, it’s not like Camelot is kingless. Plus, Arthur’s pretty darn good with a sword and in battle, and so even if they manage to make Uther totally off his nut, Arthur would do just fine defending Camelot on his own.
And let’s not forget there’s a very good chance their plan never gets that far, since it seems to rely on a servant never cleaning under the bed and noticing a giant dripping root. Which probably smells. Oh, logic! When has that ever been this show’s strong point?
Ruby: This is why one of the funniest lines of the week was Cenred describing Camelot as “impregnable.” It’s not that difficult to escape from Camelot. Morgana waltzes out every night, and nobody notices. And then she waltzes back in too.
Julia: And in no way does she look suspiciously evil with her swishy cloak or anything. You know, compared to everyone around him, when I think about the fact that Arthur still hasn’t cottoned on to the fact that Merlin’s magical, he doesn’t seem quite so stupid after all.
And when I say “stupid,” I clearly mean that with lots and lots of love, because I’m still hooked enough to sit in front of my laptop every Saturday just waiting for the next episode.
Clacked by Julia Hass 
on Sep 12, 2010 @ 08:11 EST5EDT
I wondered if you guys would be following the UK table, and you are. Yay!
A lovely dialogue for an epic of an episode. (Seriously! What have they done with the cinematography?)
Also: That promo pic makes me cry. Why does Colin look like a monkey? He was so epically pretty this episode — what in God’s name did they do make him look like a monkey? It doesn’t make sense! D:
Me thinks it’s to make Morgana/Katie McGrath stand-out more as Morgause/Emilia Fox’s gorgeousness is making a havoc on this photo shoot ;)
I haven’t watched it yet, and I will do so soon.
I think the only thing that bothers me about this show is there is absolutely no character growth on Arthur’s part. He learns to trust Merlin and his instinct in one episode, and in the very next episode Arthur is questioning Merlin and reminding him that he’s just a servant.
Otherwise, I love the show.
*POST AUTHOR*
I’ve heard a lot of people argue this, but something Bradley James brought up when we interviewed him (that I thought was very interesting and astute) is that Arthur really has no idea that Merlin’s useful. He has no idea that Merlin’s saved his life. As far as he knows, Merlin’s just as useless as when he showed up at Camelot three or four years ago, and he hasn’t learned to keep his mouth shut either. The fact that Arthur still, in spite of this, trusts Merlin implicitly and considers him his friend (albeit secretly, and never voicing it) shows a lot of maturity, though to our modern (and all-knowing) eyes it’s frustrating and seems like Arthur’s just an unappreciative jerk.
Cendred’s “castle” needs to be mentioned! His place looks the most historically accurate medieval fortress in this show. What Show, you finally hired consultants from the academe? Now, let’s see that applied to the painfully inaccurate Camelot, which I suspect has indoor plumbing. BTW, we now know where funds from this show went to… Katie McGrath’s wardrobe. A new dress every scene! Oh and her first scene, so her captors didn’t let her take a bath but she got to wear that purple dress from Season 2. She was wearing the plain green dress when she disappeared! Obviously, the powers that be in this show are boys, who don’t know that girls remember every single dress Morgana has worn, and when (white dress in seeing-Uther-first-time had the sleeves redone, btw.)
Plus, was I the ONLY one screaming “DRAGON, DRAGON, DRAGON!” in that scene, where Merlin was all alone?
Lastly, I love that this review is longer! I would love to see the first draft of this — I bet it was even funnier! I will never understand this show as much as I do after reading your reviews :)
*laughs* Oh I’ve missed your reviews! It’s great to see them again! :D
One thing — the dripping little boy? Scared me just about as much as Mordred did, but there’s one thing: Did anyone else notice the resemblence to Arthur? The blond hair, the pretty blue eyes? I kind of choked on that bit. Seriously, Uther! How the hell did you drown a child that probably looks just like your son did at that age?! *whacks Uther*
I’m so thrilled to see the most epic so-called bromance again. Even if I too have to keep reminding myself that this is a “family show.” *snorts* Family show, my left eye. If this was a family show, the eye-sex wouldn’t be so flipping obvious!
Highly entertaining! See you next week! :D
We have to cut some things for space, but one of my observations was that this episode sometimes reminded me of Lord of the Rings – and sometimes just of The Ring. The dripping dead boy and the decaying queen in the well … that was so The Ring – I haven’t seen that movie in years, but some images stick with you.
I love your reviews. I had to laugh when Julia kept going on about the family show aspect and them mocking her. Hee! I swear the eyesex just got hotter this episode and them talking about bottoms. I can only imagine Bradley getting that script and howling laughter about it. So funny.