CommercialClack – Dorothy Gray Salon Cold Creme

Tara: Holy Minoley! I laughed like an idiot all the way through this! Here’s some observations.

1) This poor model probably dropped dead 3 months later, from intense radiation exposure.

2) “Recommended for use on young skin.” Um yeah, because young skin always looks fantastic anyway, so we’ll just take the credit, thank you!

3) Ticking devices should not be used near your brain-al area.

Michael: This was a rather interesting commercial, wasn’t it? In response to your numbers above:

1) Amazingly — and believe it or don’t — she’s still alive. It seems the dichotomy of the cold cream paired with check-ups from her local radiologist prolonged her lifespan. She doesn’t speak anymore … but she’s terrifical as a nightlight.

2) Of course it’s “recommended for use on young skin.” What they don’t tell you is this product ‘fuses your youth’, thus the ‘anti-aging’. Ultimately, it failed.

3) So … a) You shouldn’t hold your watch to your ear to listen if it’s ticking?; b) Any other area is okay for ticking devices? I don’t understand that …; c) Didn’t you mean “inane-al”? Because there are quite a few blondes out there who went for this stuff back in the day.

Tara: First of all your response to number 1 made me chortle so loud I scared my cat.

But! No one wears watches anymore. You get the time from many other technical-ish places now. And you spelled “blondes” wrong. There’s no “e”. However, I’d like to buy a stupid blond girl night-light please. I bet they rock.

Also, did you notice that the opening theme music is strangely similar to that riff always used in “I Love Lucy?” That dang Desi Arnaz had his nose in everything!

Michael: I. Wear. A. Watch. Enough said.

And, hey! Don’t be ragging on Cuba’s national treasure, Desi Arnaz.

But … back to the commercial. You know the eerie thing about this? ‘Dorothy Gray Salon Cold Creme’. It’s a bite out of Oscar Wilde’s “The Picture of Dorian Gray” … !!! And we all know the story there!

Tara: I. Have. A. Portrait. In. My Attic. Too. The woman in it looks god awful. Yet, I remain dewy. Whatever it takes. See, we women have to do WhatEVER it takes. That’s why these poor ’50s Desi-lovin’ chicks bought into this crap.

Hey! I’ve got an idea. First … take off your watch so it doesn’t get dirty, ya mamby pamby. Next, make a commercial with “Miami Vice” music subliminally in the background. Then. We show pollution overhanging major cities super imposed over women with crater faces. THEN. We repackage Pond’s cold cream into a lovely jar and sell it for three easy payments of $59.95! Are you in or what??

Michael: Good Gordness. You’ve been abusing facial creme masques at night … haven’t you? I think the chemicals have seeped into your brain, suffocating your gray matter from receiving precious oxygen needed for rational thought.

That … or you haven’t been getting enough sleep. Here’s a thought: Go to bed and close your eyes. Stop perusing those late night infomercials and burning a hole in your credit card.

Tara: *putting on PJ’s* OK. But you’ll be sorry when I make my first million. *yawn* I’m goin’ to watch the Home Shopping Network for a bit….

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Aug 27, 2010 @ 10:00 EST5EDT