Well, there she is. Holli They-Never-Say-Last-Names. The winner of Hell’s Kitchen season seven. It’s great to see a fellow chicky win such a coveted title. Now she’ll move to London with her cute baby son, and head up Gordon’s restaurant at the Savoy. From banquet chef in Redlands, California to posh sophistication in England! And, as I’ve heard tell by the male of you species, not so hard on the eyeballs either. What a bitch! Hmmm? That was uncalled for? C’mon! I’m sure you were thinking the same thing.
And again, I find myself seriously thrown off. First, my boy doesn’t win Last Comic Standing this week, and now Jay loses! I’ve a good mind never to venture out of my house again. Um. But there’s no A/C in here for the most part. So, I will venture! Yes I will! And I will continue to pick the second best people on each show I review. That’ll show ‘em.
I must say, the finale had all the bells and whistles we’ve become accustomed to, and then some. I’ve never seen two competitors, erm, like each other as much as Holli and Jay do. Even until the bitter end. But I suppose when you’ve literally rubbed the competition’s “bitter end” in a hot tub, well then, all’s fair!
Let’s get to it, shall we? Of course, the show opened with the final challenge. Gordon sent a limo for Holli and Jay, and they knew the shoe was definitely going to drop. In this lovely montage, we were privy to Holli in her bra getting ready. Um. Kinda sexist! I mean we women didn’t get to see Jay … yergh. Forget it.
If you ask me, a big part of Jay losing this whole thing was his inability, and refusal, to look the part. With each time he advanced, he should have been thinking about his image as well as his cooking. My Gordon is a spiffy guy. He is not going to let his head chef have blue hair and wear jeans! He’s going to be turned off by that. Hey. Relax now. I’m all for individuality! I myself have several tattoos on my face of Elvis. But I cover them with makeup before heading out the door! See what I’m sayin’? The package has to be the entire package. Look the part, act the part, be the part. You’re welcome to share that with others as you see fit.
Anyway! The limo took Jay and Holli to a swanky Hollywood eatery with tons of crowds and hoopla for their challenge. Here they were asked to prepare five dishes for celebrity chef friends of Gordon’s to judge. They had half an hour. Yes. I said half and hour! And wouldn’t you know they pulled it off with no outside help! Ummm hmmm. Tell me another one FOX producers. I am supposed to believe that these two pulled together an amuse bouche, cold and hot appetizer, fish, and meat dish in 30 minutes? Wait. I forgot. It’s television!
Jay wins the challenge, and we set up for the most important dinner service in the history of Hell’s Kitchen! My Gordon brings back the usual suspects from earlier in the season to help out. I was chortling here, as Jay was one ticked off puppy. You see, he wasn’t focused on how this could help him win. No. To quote Jay: “I was hoping to sleep with Holli tonight at some point.” The others showing up and bunking in the dorms prevented any final booty slapping with Holli! Geez, Gordon. Can’t you think about somebody else for a change?
The return of Fran, Jason, and Siobhan went as expected. I really thought that Jay did a better job overall managing his people than Holli did. He realized Jason doesn’t react well to yelling and babied him. Jay’s menu seemed more appealing to me. It was fresh, well presented, and simple. Just like Gordon preaches. But, what do I know?
It seems that Gordon chose Holli because she improved the most overall. That makes sense. She did win a lot of the challenges. And I have to admit, when the confetti was flying and her toddler was screaming “I can’t believe it! You’re the winner! Mama! I love you!” that, well, darn … that was too cute. And in just a couple of years, that little boy will be talking with an English accent. So all’s well that ends well.
Jay didn’t seem too upset at losing. His last words to us after congratulating Holli were “Hopefully I can take her pants off tonight.” Ah. Romance.
And speaking of romance! My last words to Holli are these: Gordon is mine. Don’t forget it!
It’s been an “Amuse Bouche” my friends…. Thanks for sticking with me!
Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on Aug 11, 2010 @ 10:00 EST5EDT
There is no other explanation for Jay losing other than his stupid blue hair.
*POST AUTHOR*
His blue hair WAS stupid, Enrico. Agreed!
Jay had a dish returned because it was overcooked.
I thought Holli might just have a chance when one of “Teh Gordon’s” chefs was a woman, and marketing wise, Holli will be one hell of a draw at the new restaurant.
I agree, if in about week 5, Blue Jay had cut and colored his hair back to some semblance of normal hair I think he would have won. Gordon don’t want no chef who gets more pictures in the paper than him!