Mike and Molly, a hilarious new Fall series! Or not.

It’s called Mike and Molly. The title sounds cute; a boy meets girl kind of thing. Unfortunately  the title is the best part of the script I just read. Very disappointing with the powerhouses that are behind it. Like James Burrows, who was responsible for more great TV than I can shake a stick at, including Cheers, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, and Friends.

And how about Mark Roberts, who wrote the script, and is an integral part of Two and a Half Men? You have to hand it to that guy. He’s made a successful career out of one long-running penis joke. Not everyone can do that! Add uber executive producer Chuck Lorre! What a mix!

I was excited to see what these guys would come up with. And before I begin, I have to say that the trailer embedded below has a lot of changes to the original script in my hand. It’s a lot softer, and the characters are much less cruel to each other. I smell focus groups! Who had better taste than the writer, producer and director.

For now, let’s talk the original pilot script. Here’s the premise. Obese people! Dating! (That’s Mike and Molly, played by Melissa McCready and Billy Gardell.) I mean, c’mon that’s hilarious, right? They make fun of themselves constantly, and the supporting cast, led by a “mean Mom” (Swoozie Kurtz), can declare open season on them as well! What? A recent poll shows that over half of America is plus sized? Wait. Maybe they might be hurt, offended, or further depress the audience about their body image? Huh. Well, screw ‘em if they can’t take a joke. Onward!

The male main character is named Mike Biggs. Get it? He’s fat, and his name is Biggs! See how they did that? When we first meet him, we find out he’s a cop, and of course being fat is in a diner with his partner Carl. We get to page three before the first dick joke, (whew I was waiting) but the highly offensive fat and religious jokes start right away. When Mike tells Carl he’s going to an Overeater’s Anonymous meeting, Carl replies “Twenty porkers squeezing into a church basement? It’s either an O.A. meeting or the priests have started giving out Nutter Butters as the body of Christ.” Really? I mean seriously James Burrows and Mark Roberts and Chuck Lorre? Seriously?? Do I have to point out on how many levels this is wrong? Geez.

Next we meet Molly. It’s her birthday, and she’s celebrating at home with Mom (Kurtz) and beautiful thin sister Victoria. (Kathy Mixon) These two are so heinous to Molly, that you have to wonder how they treat her when it isn’t her birthday. Examples? OK.

Joyce: (the Mom) “Oh, forget your diet for tonight. It’s not like skipping one piece of cake is gonna make that gut any smaller.”

And a beat later . . .

Victoria is making fun of Molly for eating an entire meatloaf the first time she got her period. Victoria turns to Joyce and says, “You had to rush and stick a tampon in her before she ate the furniture.”

No, I’m not making this up. Mark Roberts did. And James Burrows and Chuck Lorre supported him.

You get the idea. The rest of the script is more of the shame … I mean same. And of course, Mike and Molly find each other at the O.A. meeting, and we leave them on their first date.

Can you tell I hated it? Yeah, I’m not very good at hiding my feelings. And one of my pet peeves is mean spirited crap TV shows, masquerading their hate as comedy. But you decide. Mike and Molly invades on Mondays this fall, at 9:30 on CBS. Huge sigh.

Clacked by Tara Shrodes
on May 24, 2010 @ 17:00 EST5EDT