Quotation Marks – 9 times out of 10 Laverne and Connie are big, burly guys

The show is currently airing its 21st season. It recently powered through its 450th episode. It has made “D’oh!” part of our vernacular. And most impressively, it has become part of our zeitgeist. But I like to think that its greatest accomplishment yet didn’t happen until right now. And that’s because, for the first time, The Simpsons has made it into our weekly quotes compilation. Well, maybe for the first time (at least in this decade) … but don’t quote me on that!

Bones

“Yep, I remember you now. The creepy one.” – Officer Conway, about Brennan

“A girl like this, she wouldn’t have given me the time of day. Which makes her that much hotter.” – Sweets
“Sweets, I’m sure you really didn’t want to say that out loud.” – Booth
“Slipped out.” – Sweets

“And you don’t need to fight. You both did well … [Walking away] I run a kindergarten.” – Cam, to Wendell and Hodgins

Glee

“You’re a really good dancer.” – Brittany
“Thanks, but I wasn’t really moving my feet.” – Finn
“That was the best part.” – Brittany

“I’ve got a full ride to a little school called the University of California in Los Angeles. Maybe you’ve heard of it. It’s in Los Angeles.” – Jesse

“Did you see what Rachel was wearing today? She looked like Pippi Longstocking, but, like, Israeli.” – Santana

“Did you know that dolphins are just gay sharks?” – Brittany

“I am engorged with venom … and triumph.” – Sue

Human Target

“Yeah, I got a name that sounds like a girl’s name. I also carry a 45, I got a history of disciplinary problems and this ain’t my first drink today. You got another comment?” – Laverne Winston, meeting Chance for the first time
“You can call me Connie.” – Chance, as Conrad Hall

The Middle

“Look around, Mike. This is our future.” – Frankie, in the bingo hall
“No, this is your future. All of the men smarten up and die.” – Mike

Modern Family

“I am losing my mind. As much as I love Lily, which is more than life itself, I am not cut out to be a stay-at-home dad. But, you know, it’s Cameron’s turn. It’s Cameron’s turn to be out in the world. Interacting with other grown-ups while I get to stay at home and plot the death of Dora the Explorer…. I’d fill her backpack with bricks and throw her in the Candy Cane River.” – Mitchell

“Why do I always have to come to these things?” – Alex
“Because you love your brother.” – Claire
“So why don’t you make him come to my orchestra things?” – Alex
“Because we love your brother.” – Phil

“Father-in-laws are tough, because you can’t push them around, and you’ve also got to show them respect. It’s like walking a tightrope, which, by the way, I can do, because I went to trapeze school. Did Jay? I doubt it.” – Phil

“What’s my coaching philosophy? Give a kid a bird, and he becomes one of those weird dudes that walks around with a bird on his shoulder. But give him a pair of wings, and he can fly. Unless he has absolutely no hand-eye coordination.” – Phil

“Well we don’t have to stand here. You know what we should do?” – Claire
“Get pregnant.” – Gloria
“I was going to say get ice cream.” – Claire
“Okay, we do yours first.” – Gloria

The Simpsons

“Play with Lisa.” – Marge
“Mom, you don’t play with Lisa; you play despite her.” – Bart

“Bart, I’m not thrilled either, but one day we might need each other for organ transplants so we better keep the lines of communication open.” – Lisa to Bart

Supernatural

“You know that Sam and Dean Winchester are psychotically, irrationally, erotically codependent on each other, right?” – Zachariah

The Vampire Diaries

“Have I entered an alternate universe where Stefan is fun?” – Damon

Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Apr 18, 2010 @ 11:00 EST5EDT