Who you callin’ a Big Love feminist? While none of the wives on Big Love would deign to label themselves “feminists” — it’d be a dirty word in their home(s) — they made several decisions in the recent “Under One Roof” episode which suggest that there’s more feminist in them than their random independent streaks might suggest, despite the whole all three of ‘em being married to one guy thing.
From Margene’s inspiring working mom “You go girl!” speech, to Nicki’s “Hey this is the REAL me” duds she donned as she rescued her daughter in a way she wished her own mother had rescued her, to Barb’s decision to sign the contract to hire the Washington, D.C. lobbyist for the casino, the Henrickson sister wives embodied very different versions of feminism during this episode.
Margene’s been evolving rapidly throughout the third season, in spite of her slip of the lip with Bennie Boy. The more money she’s made, the more confidence she’s developed and, for the first time in her life, she’s realizing that she’s developed the means to survive on her own, without Bill. The fact that she joined Toastmasters (without telling anyone), is in public making speeches and talking about her power as a “single” working woman has been slowly creating a rift between herself and the Henrickson family, whose members prefer to see her as a self-doubting, non-threatening naif.
While giving a talk to folks from VSN in her ruffled, gray business suit, Margene seemed like a different woman from the one we’ve seen in previous seasons. She said: “I’ve never wanted to have it all, I just wanted to be happy … Don’t you think it’s strange that men own businesses and have families but they’re not accused of trying to have it all? I’m not a feminist or anything, but I don’t think that doing something that makes us feel less dependent on others and increases our self-respect could possibly be bad for society.”
When Nicki discovered Margene’s speeches, she was outraged at what she called the fantasy “fairy tale” nonsense Margene’d been peddling. “You are not independent; you are one of us,” Nicki declared. ” … You could not do the things that you do without us. We are the women behind the woman. We take care of your children, cooking, cleaning.”
Meanwhile, Nicki continued to demonstrate her unique brand of off-beat independence, not only showing up at her mother Adaleen’s “sealing” to her ex-husband wearing an outrageous 1980s outfit — which she said revealed the “real” Nicki who was robbed of her teen years because Adaleen forced her to marry J.J. — but saved Cara Lynn from suffering the same fate. While Adaleen used to seem as though she was a powerful woman who used piles of cash and loads of influence to get her way, with Roman gone she’s powerless and submissive especially in the humiliating face of an abomination like her wedding night with her former son-in-law, the father of her granddaughter.
Barb — who has exhibited glimmers of independence in the past (Remember when she left Bill and enrolled in grad school? What happened with all that going back to school business?) — took it upon herself to sign off on having a lobbyist represent the casino, against Bill’s explicit wishes, as she’s been taking a more active role in running the casino. While I’d like to think that she signed the contract because she thought it made good business sense, in reality, it was simply an emotional reaction to learning that Bill got Ana pregnant during a premarital interlude.
Do you think Margene’s independent streak is temporary or will create a growing wedge between herself and her sister wives?
Clacked by Meredith O'Brien 
on Feb 17, 2010 @ 12:00 EST5EDT
It certainly seems that Margene is moving away from the family. Bill doesn’t like Marilyn because she is a strong aggressive woman..they scare him. I was thinking that at the end of this series Bill will be left without any of the three wives..that they all would have grown enough to realize that he is an ass..a sociopath that does whatever he wants without regard for anyone but himself. He invents the rules as he goes along; invents a new Church when the old one doesn’t suit his needs.He would have gotten along with King Henry the 8th! He will always have followers though, he can talk someone into buying oceanfront property in Arizona!
What I’ve liked is that they’ve gone back to an element brought up in the first season and sort of left dormant: Bill’s history as a “lost boy.” That screwed him up and made him desperate for “normality” even though he’s still a Juniper Creek boy at heart. When Bill is in crisis, Barb’s cancer etc., he reverts back to his Juniper Creek ways. He can put on a facade, but it’s an act – he was created by the compound. I’ve always liked the symbolism of the three wives: Barb is “normality,” Nikki is the compound and Bill’s history as grandson of the prophet before Roman, and Marjean is the lustful element of polygamy – the babysitter the husband lusts for. In the last episode, Barb told us that Bill slept with Marjean before marrying her – I don’t know that we knew that before this episode.