As I celebrated my birthday last week (and where was your gift?) my lovely wife, who has put up with my crap for the last 11 years, gave me one of the best gifts: the Glee soundtrack CDs. I took no time in sliding them into the car stereo (because that’s where music sounds best) , turning up the volume and letting all the Glee-fullness envelop me (get your mind out of the gutter).
If you haven’t purchased the CDs or downloaded them from iTunes, I would highly recommend doing so. Not only will it allow you to remember everything that happened over the first half of the season, but it will give you a general sense of happiness. And, just to give you fair warning, here are seven additional things that will happen while listening to the Glee CDs.
You’ll bang your hands on any surface: On your dashboard, your baby’s bottom, your boss’s shiny, bald head… Once you start groovin to “Don’t Stop Belevin’,” “Somebody to Love” or “Proud Mary,” your hands will immediately look for a hard surface to start banging.
You’ll sing out loud in public: Oh yes, people are going to start looking at you as you belt out one of the songs (pick one, they’re all singable) from the soundtracks. If you play pretend drums as well you may have folks calling the police on you. Try to avoid stop lights, elevators and bedrooms during intimate times with your partner/one night stand.
You’ll perform dance routines with your kids: Start playing “Proud Mary” with a bunch of kids hopped up on sugar and you’ll soon have a dance routine perfected. Right down to the hand-rolling when they sing “Rollin'” over and over. Hip-shaking and the obligatory Jazz Hands at the end help the performance.
Your hairs will stand on end: Take a listen to Kurt and Rachel’s version of “Defying Gravity” on the volume 1 CD (it’s the last track). If you don’t get chills up and down your spine you’re a member of the undead. It’s a magical number, minus Kurt’s flub at the end of the song in the original episode. “Somebody to Love” and Rachel’s “Don’t Rain on my Parade” are also chill-inspiring. Speaking about “Don’t Rain on my Parade”…
You’ll tear up (even if you’re a guy): It’s not the song itself, which is sprightly and switches tempos like nothing. It’s the power of Lea Michele’s voice, particularly at the end, that will make you well up. Same could be said for the Michele and Kristin Chenoweth duet “Maybe This Time.” Avoid listening during “Guys Night Out” poker games and the locker room at the YMCA.
You’ll be slightly disappointed: Unless you purchase your CDs from Target you’ll be missing the Acafellas version of “I Wanna Sex You Up” and Emma channeling Audrey Hepburn in “I Could Have Danced All Night.” Totally missing are the first two mash-ups performed by the Glee cast. Here’s hoping they’ll be on the next release.
And finally…
You’ll curse FOX: for having to wait until friggin’ April until Glee returns to the schedule. You’ll just have to listen to the music to soothe your anger.
Clacked by Richard Keller 
on Jan 26, 2010 @ 14:00 EST5EDT
You can also download the complete Kurt solo (with no flub) and Rachel solo performances of “Defying Gravity” as singles on iTunes.
(And by “download” I mean “buy”, of course–I was just trying to say that they weren’t on the CDs, but were available. I bought Kurt’s version.)
*POST AUTHOR*
Thanks for the information, Scott. I’m more of a fan of Kurt’s parts of the song then Rachel’s. I can’t put a finger on why.
Where’s “You’ll want to hunt down & assassinate the people responsible”?
In the UK we’ve been subjected to that goddawful version of ‘Don’t Stop Believing’ for the last few months in the run up to the show coming on air & I never thought that I’d ever dislike Journey (they are good cheese) but now I do.
Shame, they were awesome at Donington last year!
LOL, this list only included things that people with GOOD TASTE would do while listening to Glee songs.
If you don’t like Don’t Stop Believin’ than my advice is don’t watch any episode of this show, don’t read any post having to do with this show and basically just avoid anything Glee related. It’s clearly not your cup of tea.
America doesn’t share your opinion whatsoever.
I read that as “you are welcome to an opinion as long as you don’t share it”
Wow!
Not my intent at all. In fact, that is specifically why I started the post with “LOL” to convey the fact that I was just busting on him. It’s sad that very few people have a sense of humor anymore and that everyone needs to take things so literally.
LP, before you dismiss the show after only one song take some time to view the show. It’s not really about the songs (which are very good) but the good feelings that the show provides.
Ironically, Rich, I like her verison over his. I didn’t know it was available.
I also didn’t know the Accafellas single was available on the Target version of the disc. Might be worth purchasing just for that. Don’t tell Deb, though :)
I bought both the Colfer and Michele versions, then went looking for the Menzel and Chenoweth ones as well.
I’ve been looking for the extended soundtrack with the three extra tracks for a few months, but it’s no longer being sold on the primary market, as far as I can tell, and not on iTunes or Amazon MP3 either.
Paul and Caroline, let your last comments be your last comments. Do not start a flame war on this post.
My apologies, Richard. I was just trying to have a little fun. It was clearly taken the wrong way and I just wanted to clarify that I wasn’t trying to be mean-spirited.