FOX Wednesday night lineup – Clacking the dream

FOX really makes me sad. I feel as if I remember a time when I actually cared about what it aired, but as I review what it offered these last three decades, I keep finding myself being disappointed. Sure, there were shows here and there, and Sunday night has historically been very strong for the network, but what about the rest of the week? And what does it say about FOX that it’s put the most effort into the night that no one else much focuses on?

But certainly it’s never been as barren for me as it is this season. My TiVo only tunes to FOX for two of its animated series these days. Sure, with the return of 24 and American Idol that balance is going to tip quickly, but the numbers will belie just how sad things have become for me and the adrift network.

Anyway, lets get down to business.

8:00-8:30 FOX aired its first Wednesday primetime schedule in 1992, and the initial inhabitant of the hour was Beverly Hills 90210. You have to lead with your strengths, I suppose. I’ll admit that I watched the teen soap for most of its run, but I also know that the show was for a demographic that I just don’t belong to. I watched it online recently for sentimental value, but I don’t think I ever stopped rolling my eyes. Malcolm in the Middle spent a little time here, but unfortunately it’s already accounted for in my week (Sundays). In the 2000s, 8PM saw a flurry of series, including The Bernie Mac Show (I’ve caught snippets of this but never really enjoyed it) That ’70s Show (same as before), Simple Life 3 (kill me), Bones (sorry folks, but kill me again), ‘Til Death (kill them already), Lie to Me (no thanks), and So You Think You Can Dance (close your eyes and hope they go away). American Idol aired something here in 2007 and 2008, but the show’s so scattershot that, even if I wanted to, it would be tough to lock it into a set timetable. In fact, the only thing that interests me here is Back to You. I’ll admit it took me a little while to get into this 2007 Kelsey Grammer and Patricia Heaton vehicle, but by the time the third goldfish died, I was hooked. The show also aired at 8:30, but using my prerogative to glance ahead at what the other networks offered on Wednesdays at 8:00 and 8:30, I think my safest bet for ensuring that Back to You makes it through to the next round is to slot it here. Gary Crezyzewski, use this opportunity wisely.

8:30-9:00 And that kind of forces my hand here. Since most 8PM shows were hour-longs, there isn’t even much to choose from on the half-hour. The first, in 2000, was something called Normal, Ohio, which I can’t place but apparently starred John Goodman … sorry? Grounded for Life’s tagline read: “Raising kids can be tough. It’s even harder when they’re really raising you!” … and so we move onto Cedric the Entertainer Presents, a sketch comedy series that bombed before its second season. Idol aired here at some point in 2002 and 2003, but then the same can probably be said for FOX’s entire primetime schedule, save for Sunday. A Minute with Stan Hooper barely lasted that long, while Quintuplets was another failed attempt by Andy Richter to make it on TV. Stacked starred Pamela Anderson as a bookseller, so you know why that didn’t make it, ‘Til Death didn’t get any better at this hour, and Back to You is accounted for. Which leaves me with only one option: Free Play. Enjoy!

9:00-10:00 Not a bad hour as far as successful television shows go. Melrose Place was slotted after 90210 back in 1992, but like it’s night-buddy, Melrose was not and is not for me. I saw some of the cross-overs after Jake left for the rundown housing complex, but that’s about it. Models Inc. followed Melrose, both in its airing and its place in my heart, and while I saw some of Party of Five the early years, it too never made more of an impression on me than a familiarity with some of the characters who starred on the show. Anne Hathaway’s lucky no one remembers Get Real, The $treet (2000) showed up a little late to catch the boom, and The O.C. … I know a lot of people get insulted when I deride The O.C., so I’ll just move on. Nanny 911 sounds frighteningly awful, Kitchen Nightmares’ title doesn’t do it any favors, and the rescheduled Bernie Mac Show, ‘Til Death, and Lie to Me did no better for me at a new time.

The Moment of Truth was actually somewhat enjoyable, but I think only online — the voyeuristic side of us that craves that type of entertainment should be contained in a small room in the dark. I never really understood how Head Cases saw the light of day — did they really get Chris O’Donnell and Adam Goldberg to sign up for this? — and I think that Glee (I have the right to an opinion!) should have never made it past the idea room. So is there anything left? Well, I’m glad you asked! Justice debuted in 2006 to poor numbers, and got batted around the week in the hopes that it would gain traction on some night; it never did. But what it did manage to achieve was leaving me happy that it had some opportunity for life. I feel like Justice fit neatly into the genre that Boston Legal, Eli Stone, and The Practice (sometimes) carved out, one that, it would seem, is still trying to gain mainstream eyeballs. For me it was a great show, and I particularly enjoyed how it was the only legal series that told us how the crime really took place at the end. Justice it is, for all.

A short night for sure, but definitely one that will leave me smiling. What does your perfect Wednesday night on FOX look like?

Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Jan 06, 2010 @ 14:00 EST5EDT