Dreams came true for a lot of people this week. Seinfeld staged a reunion show on the season finale of Larry David’s Curb, Martha Castle is set to meet a calendar’s worth of firefighters, Ted and Robin were gifted a slap, and Cam got to dress up like a clown. Unfortunately for billions of turkeys, their dreams to make it to the weekend didn’t pan out. Plus, Thanksgiving being inconveniently on Thursdays and all, NBC lost a week of providing us with their always quote-worthy comedy line-up. Maybe next week they’ll bring double portions!
Castle
“Every student has a three-day voluntary internship at one of the city’s agencies: Law Enforcement, Sanitation, Fire…” – Alexis
“I’ll go with Fire — they have the best calendars.” – Martha
“Did that ever happen to you with me? One day you look and you see that your boy has all grown up?” – Castle
“I’m still waiting for that moment actually.” – Martha
“That was pretty cool, how you filled in the story there. I think I must be rubbing off on you … that sounded dirtier than I meant it.” – Castle, to Beckett
“A wife and fiance catfight — please can we stop for popcorn on the way?” – Castle
Cougar Town
“OK, excuse me … quick announcement. I’m about to bring Kylie in, so I need you all to act like normal human beings. (“boo”s from the family) I know it’s going to be hard, but I can help. Mrs. Torres, Kylie doesn’t have an eating disorder, she runs cross country; think of a new opening question. Mr. Torres, I don’t care how much you eat, let’s keep our pants buttoned. Laurie, your breasts are bigger than hers. There, I said it. You don’t need to tell her. Neighbor guy, I see you brought your fruity little guitar. Let’s keep that holstered. Mom, you have multiple problem areas, so when in doubt just say to yourself, ‘That’s a bad idea.’ Dad, I think we both know it’s best you don’t say anything.” – Travis
Curb Your Enthusiasm
“Whatever happened to ‘E’ for effort? ‘E’ for effort!” – Larry
“‘F’ for favor!” – Mocha Joe
“‘C’ for coffee!” – Jerry
“Do you respect wood?” – Larry to multiple people
“You have a three-legged goat here.” – Jerry to Larry, on Seinfeld without Jason Alexander
Glee
“I admit, I like a challenge as much as the next guy, but Rachel somehow manages to dress like a grandmother and a toddler at the same time.” – Kurt, on giving Rachel a makeover
“Most of the time I find it hard to be in the same room with you. Especially this one, which looks like where Strawberry Shortcake and Holly Hobbie come to hook up.” – Kurt, to Rachel
The Good Wife
“It’s not a three-way, it’s a threesome.” – Zach
“Yeah, but you can still say three-way.” – Grace
“No you can’t.” – Zach
How I Met Your Mother
“Life is short, I figured slap-e diem.” – Marshall, to Ted and Robin, on bequeathing them the fourth slap
The Middle
“Wait, wait, wait. So you’re saying that we’re working on Thanksgiving? Mr. Ehlert, that is just wrong.” – Frankie Heck
“Well so’s taking the country away from a bunch of Indians. But aren’t you glad we did?” – Don Ehlert
Modern Family
“We can’t get Luke a crossbow. He pokes himself in the eye every time he uses a straw.” – Gloria to Jay, about Luke’s birthday present
“People are going to stare. They’re not used to seeing one clown in a car.” – Cam
Ugly Betty
“Everything is not about fashion, Marc.” – Wilhemina
(Marc slaps her hard across the face)
(Glares for a long moment) “I will let that slide — because we both know I deserved that.” – Wilhelmina
Clacked by Aryeh S.
on Nov 29, 2009 @ 14:38 EST5EDT
One of my favorites from the week from Accidentally on Purpose (yes, I watch and yes, I think it is a funny show):
“You should see this list of baby essentials. When all is said and done that single orgasm is going to cost me $450,000″ -Zack
*POST AUTHOR*
Sure … if he skrimps on private school and college. ;)
(And we’ll leave your confession hanging in an uncomfortable silence…. :))
That number is probably closer to 800,000. Have you seen how expensive baseball bats are these days?!