Gossip Girl – Man, I really wanted to see Lady Gaga as Snow White

“Dude. I’m Chuck Bass. Even Europeans must know what that means.”

Chuck was sadly underused in this episode, but really, that line made up for all of it. In fact, that one line was so perfect, that it’s not even worth sullying it by talking about the beyond-boring Jenny storyline in which it appeared. Jenny Humphrey is not, nor has she ever been, an interesting character. If they insist on putting her in every episode, they should at least put her in school so we can see Constance 2.0 in action. Otherwise, more Chuck time, please.

Here’s my new theory after watching this episode: Serena is a sociopath. Doesn’t it explain her behavior over the past three seasons? Her inability to maintain social relationships for more than a handful of episodes, her robot-like demeanor, her ability to shift from one “emotion” to the next without so much of a blink? I hope that my theory is correct, or Serena van der Woodsen may just bore me straight to death.

I really enjoy Blake Lively, but she does not have chemistry with anyone on this show, so the cinematographers have to work overtime to zoom in and highlight the supposed crackling chemistry between her and Trip. She tells Nate that she hasn’t felt like this about a real person ever, yet a few scenes and a couple of shots later, she’s completely forgotten about him and ready to move on with Nate. Of course, as soon as Trip literally comes back into the picture, Nate is all but forgotten. The woman has no emotional attachment to anything, so as a viewer, it’s really difficult for me to get invested in any of her storylines. Plus, her outfit was distractingly ugly, so that definitely didn’t help.

Now, on to The Most Boring Threesome Ever™: at the very least, we got to see some sort of action this time, imaginary though it may be. However, I really liked Olivia, and more importantly, I feel as though the relationship with her and Dan had potential. Dan Humphrey dating a huge movie star could lead to many more interesting storylines; so to have her exit be because of a threesome between her, Dan and Vanessa is just kind of sad.

They hinted around about a Dan/Vanessa pairing back in season one, and it was great that it didn’t happen. Nobody wants it to happen, and what’s more, it doesn’t even look as though it will happen, since Vanessa left him standing all alone, with a solitary tear rolling down his face, as he swayed silently to the siren strains of a Lady Gaga song.

Clacked by Kona Gallagher
on Nov 17, 2009 @ 11:30 EST5EDT