As a parent, I would like to start my own council that bans stupid, “edgy” threesomes from television. Not because I find them too scandalous, but because they are lame. Gossip Girl‘s much ballyhooed threesome was quite, uh, anticlimactic. Instead of going all out and making it completely crazy, which Gossip Girl could totally get away with, not only did they choose the most boring three people to take part in it, but it was, by far, one of the tamest things I’ve seen on that show, lately. Hell, the skirts that Jenny Humphrey wears in any given scene are way more scandalous.
It’s not that I’m complaining about the lack of a sex scene, because, believe me, I’m fine with that. It’s that they hyped it up so much and it was nothing. Like, literally nothing. Three fully-clothed people kissed one time, they cut away, and when we see the three characters again, they are asleep in bed. The HORROR! They were SLEEPING in BED. OMZZZZZZzzzzzzz.
The fact that Dan, Vanessa and Olivia were going to end up in bed together, was pretty obvious from the beginning, as Dan and Vanessa were trying to give Olivia the “full college experience.” Heh. Anyway, their entire storyline just became a countdown to the inevitable awkward conclusion.
I was on Twitter while I was watching it, and after the threesome participants became obvious, I started hoping for something insane, like the Eric/Jenny/Jonathan one that I suggested to TV Guide writer Damian Holbrook. Or even the much more interesting Rufus/Dorota/Georgina one that he countered with. Just something to make it worth my time. But alas, it was not meant to be.
The funniest thing about the entire situation is that the Parent’s Council worked themselves up into a lather over what turned out to be one of the least scandalous moments in Gossip Girl history. I would like to believe that this was Gossip Girl‘s plan all along: throw out the word “threesome,” get the Paren’t Council all freaked out, causing them to give the show free publicity, then make a truly boring threesome, so everyone looks kind of silly for making much ado about nothing. I’ve often thought that the folks behind Gossip Girl are evil geniuses, so I definitely wouldn’t put it past them.
Clacked by Kona Gallagher 
on Nov 10, 2009 @ 14:00 EST5EDT
when they cut off the threesome right after they share kisses, the group in my living room went “that was it!!!!????”
ah we were fooled. how can we ever expect an American network tv show be as provocative as the other countries. heck, our shows aren’t even allow to curse naughty words, why did anyone think there was going to be actual sex scene.
i was hoping to see jenny/eric/jonathan threesome though, little J is such a mess that i could totally see it happening.