First-time guest clacker Ryan enjoyed snowy Northeast winters for a few years, but now lives back home in humid Hawaii. He wishes it were still cold enough to wear a suit and tie when going out.
Before Friday’s episode of Stargate Universe, I was certain that Robert C. Cooper and Brad Wright had merely taken the Battlestar Galactica character sketches, filed off the serial numbers, and tossed them through the Stargate. I now know the truth, which is that they stole them from Arrested Development instead.
Dr. Nicholas Rush (Michael Bluth) is definitely the main star of the ensemble cast. As such, I couldn’t figure out why they had made him so unlikable, childish and condescending. The mistake I had made was in not viewing the entire show from his perspective. He is the good son of the family, surrounded by self-absorbed, narcissistic imbeciles. All he’s trying to do is fulfill their destiny by trying to get the Destiny (Bluth Construction, and also the model home) up and running smoothly, solvent and assets unfrozen by the Ancients (the SEC). But at every turn he is stymied, mocked and waylaid by these grasping mouth-breathers, always whining about wanting to sell off all their shares in the company and selfishly retire back to Earth. Here he discovers how they’ve been sucking the Destiny dry through commingling and embezzlement of its precious resources (cash) to fuel their decadent lifestyles of showering, button-pushing and breathing. But he’s cut them off from the company ledger, and I think we’re all going to learn a valuable lesson from this. Tough love!
Col. Everett Young (George Bluth, Sr.) should have been running things, but had been sidelined by his injuries. He’ll also be trading his place in jail from time to time with Col. David Telford (Oscar Bluth). Oscar was a milquetoast whereas Telford’s an ass, but they’re about equally as dumb. Those who have read the SPOILERS for upcoming episodes know that there’s at least one “I’m Oscar” moment coming up.
1st Lt. Matthew Scott (Gob Bluth) grew up without the love of his parents, and consequently is a horndog who can’t keep it in his pants. Ill-equipped for his new responsibility, he likes to bluster and talk tough, but doesn’t have the competence or confidence of his brother, Rush. The part in the pilot where he barks at Rush to help them and then leans in to whisper “please” was a classic Gob and Michael bit.
Eli Wallace (George-Michael Bluth) is utterly unprepared to be thrust into this family. He’s nervous, makes lame jokes, and even stammered a little this week, but generally can be counted upon to come through with a good idea or moral stance. Right now he’s probably the closest to Rush of any of them. Oh, and he’s also already made a close connection with…
Chloe Armstrong (Mae “Maeby” Fünke), who is privileged and spoiled, but also politically savvy with some daddy issues. There may be some compositing with Ann Veal, who was also bossy, sanctimonious, and quite annoying to Michael. We’ll know for sure if Rush starts referring to Chloe as “Her?” Or if Scott does start making out with the girl whom Eli likes, as the previews seem to imply.
1st Lt. Tamara Johansen is definitely a composite (Lindsay and Tobias Fünke). Now perpetually stuck between careers (and without a medical license?), she did show this week that she can get along well with Rush in the rare moments when she isn’t as stupid as the rest of the family. If she starts to exhibit sexual identity confusion, it might help to draw in more viewers. Tobias’s blowhard/martyr side was sectioned out and is currently vacuum-sealed in Shuttle One.
MSgt. Ronald Greer (Kitty Sanchez), despite his anger issues, is thus far unflinchingly loyal to Young and hostile to Rush. Though thankfully he opts for a beatdown in lieu of flashing the man while screaming “Take a good look, ’cause it’s the last time you’re gonna see these.”
Camile Wray (Lucille Bluth). Just kidding. The character wishes she could be a soused, manipulative Bitch on Wheels. After some laughable scenes in the pilot and zero dialogue in the third episode, I did not have high hopes. At least now she’s resuming her mutually respectful relationship and joint governance of the family with Young, so we’ll see where they take her from here.
And General Jack O’Neil has definitely become Michael’s attorney, Wayne Jarvis. He was supposed to help them but so far has contributed nothing.
So will the first humanoid alien to join the crew be young, good-looking and dumb (Steve Holt), innocuous but treacherous (Hel-loh “Annyong” Bluth), or a hot whackadoodle (Charlize Theron’s Rita Leeds)?
Clacked by Keith McDuffee 
on Oct 18, 2009 @ 10:00 EST5EDT
While this is too far outside my sphere to fully appreciate it (I have never seen Stargate Universe, nor do I have any idea what it’s about) I suffered through all of Arrested Development, and can see that you definitely have a rather interesting hypothesis going. Too bad I can’t put YOU through the wringer ;), but nice post! :)
Thanks for dropping in. It would have been fun to debate the characters I paralleled, but as this is pure satire, fairly pointless. I did have a couple candidates for Buster, but not being regulars they could be airlocked at any time, so didn’t include it.
It’s pretty safe for you to skip SGU for the time being. If it improves LDP-wise, I’ll drop you a note.
So was your wife the AD fan then?
I watched the entire series on Hulu within the last year, because I gave credence to the enthusiasm with which people champion the show. It was a conscious decision not to stop that I can blame on no one but myself, but man was it painful. :)
I wish I would had watched AD now ;) Clever.
Don’t feel bad about your humidity – I’m still battling over 100 degree heat!
We’re battling the 40s on the East Coast … where do you live, the sun? :)
I can handle weather up to 104 degrees easily as long as it’s dry (found that out in Mexico and Turkey), but a little bit of moisture saturation knocks me right out.
I found all of Arrested Development season one on Hulu and recommend you take a look. They used to have the other two seasons as well. The complete set seems to go on sale for $30 at Amazon every Christmas.
One caveat is that if it’s your type of humor, it may very well ruin you for every other network television comedy you will watch for the rest of your life. The show’s fans are obsessed.
Stargate has certain qualities that make it unique. Obviously, Stargate, basically, plays out in quads. Another words: Shep, Rodney, muscle babe and dreadlocks. Or, the four or five on the SG-1 team.
Secondly, their using the ship as the McGuffin and not the gate. Granted it worked on Atlantis, but here it feels claustrophobic.
And I don’t see a strong female lead emerge yet, another important quality. And more and more…
The whole Arrested Development seems irrelevant as a justification for deviating from canon.
Remember that Atlantis also started with a lot of memorable recurring characters. They just ruthlessly slaughtered them off in the first few seasons, bringing it back more into line with SG-1. They don’t seem to want to do the same with Universe, but it’s not out of the question. The Pegasus Galaxy was also supposed to be too far from Earth for support.
The Destiny as the MacGuffin can work, but only if they actually explore the whole ship, and have recurring contacts with spacefaring aliens. The show is more expensive than the previous one, but I don’t know if they can afford all the shipboard sets.
It seems that Chloe is supposed to be the female lead, which is odd since she seems quite the ingénue thus far. I had thought from the casting it would be Ming-Na’s Wray, but she’s been backgrounded. Of all the women, 2nd Lt. James and the scientist who escaped through the gate have been the most memorable, and the former is regrettably over-sexualized while the latter is dead or abandoned.
I agree with other posters: if you want a strong female lead, you should probably switch to watching Sanctuary instead.