Quotation Marks – Devito’s got quirk, Glee’s got luftballons, and Psych’s Shawn’s got bananas

Pulling quotes from our favorite TV shows is one of my favorite things to do (true story), but why limit our quotes to just the shows, when celebrities — and some of CliqueClack’s greatest — say some of the darnedest things?  So, from time to time, we figured we’d share some of those funny lines.

Quotes from the Ether

“A chil[sic] day. Reflection.Shower No shave. Sneak in an episode of “Deadwood!” Ian McShane … What the F! Holy shitballs the M F C S is great!” – @Danny_Devito — who shared with us the above … er … picture. (via Twitter)

“Now I’m not just a good pooper, but an optimum one.” — David Duchovny, in his new Pedigree commercial

“sorority row opens today! bring on the blood the boobs and the comedy!!!” – @IMKristenBell — speaking directly to Brett’s heart. (via Twitter)

Glee

“Iron tablet?  It keeps your strength up while you’re menstruating.” — Coach Sylvester
“…I don’t menstruate” — Mr. Schuester
“Yeah? Neither do I.” — Coach Sylvester

“Ok, let’s compromise. If you quit the club, I’ll let you touch my breasts” – Quinn
“Under the shirt?” — Finn
“Over the bra.” — Quinn

“Did you just throw up?” — Miss Pillsbury
“No…. ” — Rachel
“You missed the toilet.” — Miss Pillsbury

“…Now remember, if the balloon pops, the noise makes the angels cry.” — Quinn

“What’s a luftballon?”  – Rachel

“That was the most offensive thing I’ve seen in twenty years of teaching. And that includes an elementary school production of Hair.” — Coach Sylvester

Leverage

“You do not let Vicki Vale into the Batcave; ever.” — Hardison, on attorney Tara Carlisle tagging along with the team

Psych

“The most important thing about playing second base is the foot work. Ready?” — Henry
“I was born ready, dad!” — Shawn
“Actually you were born breach, son; it took hours to get you out. But I appreciate the enthusiasm.” — Henry

“Gus, may I ask you something? What was the very first thing you did after the shooting?” — Henry
“I called my folks to tell them I was okay.” — Gus
“And what was the first thing he [Shawn] did?” — Henry
“He ate a banana.” — Gus

“Jules, it’s not important that it was me that saved Lassie’s life, or that I was right, or that he should have listened to me from the start because I was right. The important thing is that [Lassie is] unharmed, and it was because of me because I was right.” — Shawn

“No, I don’t lose it, I place it somewhere that later eludes me.” — Shawn
“That’s the same thing as losing it, Shawn.”‘ — Gus
“Maybe to those of us without the nuance chromosome.” — Shawn

So You Think You Can Dance

“It felt a little off-off-Broadway.” — Nigel, critiquing one of the less successful auditions
“Like, in Cleveland off-Broadway.” — Adam

Project Runway

“I’m just obsessed about boobs. That’s my thing.” — Heidi Klum (or Brett … who knows?)

Supernatural

“I need you to get a message to Sam and Dean. OK?” — Carver
“Look Mr. Edlund, yes I’m a fan, but I don’t appreciate being mocked. I know that ‘Supernatural’ is just a book, OK? I know the difference between fantasy and reality.” — Becky
“Becky, it’s all real.” — Carver
“I KNEW IT!” — Becky

Greek

“It was magical … ly disgusting. She made noises like a banshee; it was like a farm animal in late-stage labor. Leaving me feeling as soiled as a veterinarian’s glove.” — Dale, telling Cappie about his night of passion with Sheila
“Are you sure that you did it right?” — Cappie

“Anyone else turned on right now? What? … Those aren’t my daughters.” — One of the random ZBZ dads to a tableful of them, as the singing ladies of ZBZ fought onstage

“Are you saying that Jack is just as scared of me as I am of him?” — Rusty to his dad, after injuring Jordan’s father in the football game
“Well, you did almost paralyze him, son.” — Russell Cartwright

Mad Men

“During the depression I saw somebody throw a loaf of bread off a truck. It was more dignified.” — Don, on the firm signing up a crazy client

“Don, look at this. Victory medal, France. I should have another for beating the clap.” — Gene, showing off his medal

“Well, I’m fun, and I like to have … fun,” — Peggy, talking to a new potential roommate

Selections from the Virgin Diaries

House, M.D.

“I have a question, and I need to go to the bathroom.” – Ian
“Which would you like to do first?” — Mrs. Walsh
“The question.” — Ian
“Okay.” — Mrs. Walsh
“Where’s the bathroom?” — Ian

“I have The Plague?” — Patient
“Don’t worry, its treatable. Being a bitch, though … nothing we can do about that.” — Dr. House

Buffy the Vampire Slayer

“It’s just that in high school, knowledge was pretty much frowned upon; you really had to work to learn anything. But here … the energy, the collective intelligence, it’s like this force. This penetrating force … and I can just feel my mind opening up, you know, and letting this place just thrust into and spurt knowledge into…. [pauses] That sentence ended up in a different place than it started out in.” — Willow

Angel

“So, um, are you still … ‘Grrr’?” — Cordelia
“Yeah. There’s not actually a cure for that.” — Angel

“Oh, God, I’m sorry! I’m getting all weepy in front of you. I probably look really scary. I finally get invited to a nice place … with no mirrors, and … lots of curtains…. Hey! You’re a vampire!” — Cordelia
“What? No, I’m not.” — Russell Winters
“Are too!” — Cordelia

“So what are you looking for?” — Angel
“Me? I guess it depends on how many daiquiris I’ve had. Wow, way to come off as a drunken slut.”  — Kate