The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – In which Scully loses a father, a lover and almost her life

(Season 1, Episodes 12-16)

Sneaky bastards! Apparently there are 24 episodes in the first season of The X-Files, meaning my plan of two three-episode installments was completely pointless. You see kids, 4 goes into 24 evenly. It pays to pay attention in school! And maybe a little bit to what you’re doing as well. So we’ll do five this week to keep on track. Hang on tight, it’s a marathon!

12 – “Fire”
(Original Air Date: December 7, 1993) I get that the weird firestarter guy is crazy. I’m just not sure why he thought it would be funny to freak out the ugly Meg Ryan at the bar by lighting up his arm. It was handy for him, though, that the bartender had apparently doused the entire bar in alcohol for him. Made for a much better flame effect.

Later, the fire on the 14th floor, caused by our firestarter friend “Bob,” was impressively contained. Like a flamethrower just shooting off a nice spout of flames not spreading or anything. All while Bob ran off to “save” the boys of his latest victim. I guess the budget couldn’t afford any actual fire damage to the building set, so they used a replica of the Olympic torch. Just hold it right there. That looks terrifying!

Another helpful production tip from Mr. Jason J. Hughes. If your stuntman doesn’t really look anything like David Duchovny, it’s best not to have him do a slow motion dive into the camera during your dramatic hall diving scene. “Hey, check out that guy’s jet black hair. Who is that and how did he get where Mulder just was? Oh wait, Mulder’s back. That was weird.”

I am proud of Mulder for facing his fear of fire, with the help of his trusted stuntman. As for Bob? Apparently you can fight fire with fire, even if you can’t kill fire with fire. We’re getting to have a whole collection of these weirdos in government facilities out there. Is someone building an army? I don’t think The X-Files had a ton continuity as far as their monsters of the week go, though I know a few recurred.

13 – “Beyond the Sea”
(Original Air Date: January 7, 1994) This is exactly what I think The X-Files excels at. In the end, the viewer is left with just as much doubt as Scully generally has about whether what we just saw was supernatural or not. All of this can be laid on the lap of the brilliant Brad Dourif.

Dourif, as the maybe-psychic death row inmate Luther Lee Boggs, was just astounding in this role. This also is the first time that I’ve seen the acting ability that I know will lead to Emmy nominations for Gillian Anderson in this role. Even with Mulder off the screen for most of the episode, I was just mesmerized by Scully and Boggs’s cat-and-mouse.

In the end it could be that Boggs was psychic in some way; it was certainly filmed in scenes to suggest that he was. But he could have just as easily been the mastermind behind the kidnapping in the first place; all to try and secure a deal. The fact that he helped Scully despite not getting the deal pushes me toward believing some truth in what he claimed. Or general remorse for his past deeds. Not that it helped him in the end.

14 – “Gender Bender”
(Original Air Date: January 21, 1994) “The Addams Family finds religion.” –Fox Mulder

Another solid installment, and again mainly because of the creepiness of the “monsters,” or in this case aliens? The Kindred were an interesting bunch, and of course we’re left with as many questions as we came in with. The tension in the compound while Scully and Mulder were running around was palpable.

Actually less compelling was the gender bending murderer him/herself. I am of course wondering why people they make out with get physically ill; they barely have to do anything and the victims are retching out their guts at the very least. Alien incompatibility? And why the drive to mate so often, killing humans left and right — the Kindred in the compound don’t seem to have this compulsion. An aberration?

This episode made me realize that I’m probably going to be frustrated about a lot of things on this show. One of the things I love best is world building. I love a show that creates an alternate reality that I can fully immerse myself in. But that means I want to understand as much about that world as possible. And, as proven here, it looks like we’ll be getting little more than snippets here and there.

Basically, I need to think of The X-Files as two different things. There’s the “MythArc” larger story, and then beyond that it’s a supernatural/sci-fi/fantasy anthology series. Short vignettes that you take for what they are and what you can get out of them and then move on. I think I can handle that.

15 – “Lazarus”
(Original Air Date: February 4, 1994) Man, they really wanted to put Scully through the ringer these past few episodes. First, kill off her dad, but have her haunted by his presence through a deranged death row inmate. Sure, no problem. What’s next?

How about we kill off one of your mentors and ex-boyfriends and then have his body taken over by a different deranged criminal. That way you can experience even more emotional turmoil before we finally and ultimately kill him off again. See, the goal is to have you completely lose it so you’re more open to Spooky Mulder’s crazy theories.

This one read like Ghost Whisperer meets Bonnie & Clyde. I couldn’t help but think of how Jim’s love kept him from dying and he was ultimately able to come back to Melinda in a different body. Only Melinda didn’t betray him and ultimately try to kill him.

I enjoyed the tone of this episode, both in how it let us learn that Scully was dating a man who certainly looked a lot older than her, even if the writers lied and said they’re close to the same age. I’m going to say it’s daddy issues, because her dad was a bit of a cold dick in that Christmas scene.

16 – “Young at Heart”
(Original Air Date: February 11, 1994) Fox’s stalker has not only nice penmanship, but is also a damn fine photographer. Now that he’s thwarted death, he should maybe consider a job in the exciting world of wedding photography. The way he captured the mood of Mulder coming around his car… the somber expression in his eyes as he looked to the distance….

The paparazzi would kill for talent like that. Imagine getting an up-skirt shot of today’s latest “thing,” but with a delicate grace and lighting that belies the fact that you had to lie in the gutter waiting for her limo to arrive to get that shot.

You know how to create tension during a phone conversation? Zoom in on the eyes. Phones are scary business. That phone ringing scared the shit out of Reggie, Mulder’s former supervisor who was there when the dead-not-dead killer was finally brought down. So much that he got choked to death, leading Mulder to ask, “What the hell is going on, Reggie?” about thirty times. I wonder if that catch phrase ever wound up on X-Files t-shirts.

Bring in a doctor who’s sort of got the cure for aging, and got me to look up progeria to learn more about it, and you’ve got the government back involved. Of course they’d want in on that action. Enter Deep Throat to say he’s not real happy with how things have turned out, but what are you gonna do.

It also made me miss my cello. I just got new strings so maybe I can bone up on practicing so I can be involved in the next government sting operation to flush out a salamander-handed reverse-aging lunatic with a vendetta against a friend of mine’s coworker. I mean that has to happen all the time, right?

Oh, and remember the number 935, okay. They showed it to us so it must be important, right? The X-Files goes back to these things sometimes, don’t they? Give me hope for at least some follow-up to these umpteen gazillion open-ended plots….

Previously on The X-Files Virgin’s Diary
Now you can just click the show title under TV Shows over there on the right for all our previous installments. Handy, isn’t it?

Clacked by Jason Hughes
on Jun 16, 2009 @ 15:00 EST5EDT