Reality Clack – Don’t Hammertime on Gene Simmons Family Jewels!

by Jackie Schnoop

Nick Tweed Simmons Anyone know what time it is? Why, it’s Hammertime — time to revisit big pants and popping definitely many steps below the talent of Phillip Chbeeb on So You Think You Can Dance. Okay, I’ll confess that when I think of MC Hammer, I might just take to humming “You Can’t Touch This” and boppin’ my head a bit. In his heyday, I found him entertaining. But will I remain entertained watching a show all about his family life? It’s getting so that almost every has been, washed-up, or just need-a-PR-jolt celebrity is getting into the reality genre. Some can be entertaining, others not so much.

On the other hand, I was never either a Gene Simmons nor KISS fan. Yet that Hammer better not go near those Family Jewels. I’ve grown quite addicted to that one. Yeah, it could be that cougar crush thing with Nick, but it’s my TV. I can watch what I want!

That was the week it was

Since I already brought it up, let’s talk Hammertime on A&E. I somewhat liked Snoop Dogg’s show, but he’s stayed more in the public eye than Hammer has over the past decade or two. All I can think of that MC Hammer’s done in that time is The Surreal Life, and that reality show had Vanilla Ice on it. I think that’s enough said for the quality of the surrealism. So, what’s my verdict of his latest attempt to get his name back in showbiz? Boring!

About the only thing I found entertaining about the entire show was when I went to the website to get the link and came across the Hammer Pants video. A flash mob raided a trendy store and hilarity ensued. It’s definitely better than the show itself.

So You Think You Can Dance had its first elimination this week. Tony and Paris got the boot. I’m not heartbroken over the loss. Tony seemed to think he was way too cute, and personality isn’t going to win a dance contest. Perhaps Paris might have made it through with another partner. I think this season has the most talented group of dancers to date. It’s kind of like the talent on American Idol stepping up the game. Meanwhile, auditions are open for the fall season. No, I’m not applying!

I’m a Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here is still a train wreck. And, more surprisingly, the voters kept Janice on while getting rid of Daniel Baldwin. I say, they kept the Lesser Baldwin in lieu of the one who actually works! They also brought in Heidi Pratt’s sister and there have been hints of a romance between her and Sanjaya. I think Janice has her eyes on Sanjaya and we’re going to see a major cat-fight when she defends her territory. Meow!

I just can’t wait for the arrival of Big Brother. This stuff is driving me crazy! Meanwhile, I’m just going to have to consider late night talk shows part of the reality genre and let the Palin/Letterman brouhaha amuse me. Or, better yet … I’ll just be wickedly entertained by Craig Ferguson’s off the wall openings.

Feed me reality TV!