The X-Files Virgin’s Diary – Aliens, angels and mean girls

(Season 1, Episodes 9-11)

There aren’t enough kid villains in the world. Thank god there’s The X-Files. Plus, I never knew anyone took that “face of mars” image and made it into a creepy mask on an old man’s face. All in all, these were pretty solid spook-em-up installments. I felt for Mulder trying to defend himself in an obviously crooked system. I’ve been there, man, try getting customer service on the line about your phone bill!

9 – “Space”
(Original Air Date: November 12, 1993) I recognized Ed Lauter right away, despite the horrible toupee they had on him in that flashback sequence. His is one of those faces we see everywhere in guest roles that’s always memorable. And he always plays those intense roles, this time losing his mind as Col. Belt, head of a NASA space mission going horribly awry.

At one point Mulder was trying to calm Michelle Generoo, who’s fiance was on the shuttle that Belt was apparently willing to sacrifice to keep NASA afloat, he grabbed her on both sides of her waist in an incredibly uncomfortable moment … at least for me. Most people grab arms or shoulders, but not Mulder. As close to the crotch as decorum allows. One thrust and he could have physically assaulted her right there. It did have the desired effect, though, as she did relax. Or she wanted big daddy!

All in all, I found this episode to be less than compelling. The alien entity that had apparently possessed Belt was vague at best. What was its motivation? At least Scully was there this time when Belt’s face was transforming into “the face of Mars.” And, of course, in the end he killed himself, but does that kill the creature?

Maybe it was because the “action” took place in a NASA control center, meaning there was no action at all. There was virtually no tension in the entire episode, nor was there suspense or any of those things I’m enjoying about The X-Files.

10 – “Fallen Angel” [MythArc]
(Original Air Date: November 19, 1993) Damn you US Government! Always covering up something. At least we’re back on familiar X-Files ground. A secret government installation hastily set up at a presumed alien crash site, or Libyan aircraft with a nuclear warhead, or make that a derailed train. Who do you believe? Why Fox Mulder, of course.

I don’t know what this “fallen angel” is, but they’re not taking any chances with it. Even through the bad acting by everyone in the military, I could tell. Even worse than the acting was the “special effects” when the men were attacked. A bright floodlight, a close-up shot with the camera and screaming. Ooh, color me terrified! Nostrils!

I’m sure I’m just spoiled by 2009 capabilities in effects (and casting?). At least the makeup was good on the burn victims. Even scarier, I used to sport the exact same hairdo as Max (ballcap with long frizzy hair) at around the same time. I’d say we were trendy, but I don’t think Max was trendy. Medicated schizo possible alien abductee, but not trendy. Just like me.

At the end, it was nice to see that the government dickery extends to Mulder and Scully’s own FBI. As cavalier as Mulder has been, I’m as surprised as he that he lasted this long, until Deep Throat revealed it’s the “keep your enemies closer” adage. He’s kept on so they can keep an eye on him. You’d think it’d be easier to just kill him.

A great line that sums up Mulder’s position: “How can I disprove lies that are stamped with an official seal?”

11 – “Eve”
(Original Air Date: December 10, 1993) Today we remember how much Mulder loves his slide projector. At any possible moment he’ll flip that light switch in his office and start flipping through slides that are always prepared for whatever he’s talking about. I think he carries the remote in his pocket at all times. “Oh, sorry Scully. Didn’t know that one was on there. Impressive, eh?”

The “Eve” we met in the psych ward is Eve 6, the inspiration for the band’s name. So either they liked the episode or thought she was hot. Maybe they wanted her to bite into their eyeballs.

I know Scully is the skeptic, but she took it a bit beyond the realm of believable when she didn’t want to stop by the motel to check up on the woman who came in twice with the same girl (but never left with her). Come on, that’s at least suspicous.

It was pleasantly surprising that the elder Eve was actually trying to do the girls, and the world, a favor. And that the younger Eves were actually the murderers. Beyond that, the little bitches were monsters, and incredibly devious. I love it!

What wasn’t as impressive was the staff at the place the Eves were being held not recognizing another Eve in a lab coat come to take the girls. I guess nobody looks beyond the coat. That said, what a great episode. You can never see enough diabolical kids on television.

I’m only going to do three episodes this week, and possibly next because I just got my hands on a doctor’s coat and I got me some drugs to pilfer. I figure if I have two three-episode installments per season, then I won’t have to have a two-episode diary at the end of a season. Would you believe there’s a plan?

Previously on The X-Files Virgin’s Diary
Season 1, Episodes 1-4
Season 1, Episodes 5-8

Clacked by Jason Hughes
on Jun 12, 2009 @ 09:00 EST5EDT