Last week was a great week on television in general, which means that it was a great week for quotes. Between the suicide on House, Scott Bakula guest-starring on Chuck and Portia De Rossi just being awesome on Better off Ted, there were a lot of hilarious lines. These are some of our favorites from this week. As always, feel free to leave your own quotes in the comments section.
House
Cuddy: “I’m sorry for your loss.”
House: “It’s not my loss.”
Cuddy: “I’m sorry you don’t think it is.”
“Suicide means you could have helped him; murder means you’re off the hook.” – Cameron
“You can’t feel that much guilt without love.” – Taub.
Chuck
“Hooo Boy!” Chuck’s father (Scott Bakula), in response to his daughter’s reaction at seeing him (And, for those not initiated to the world of ‘Quantum Leap’, Sam used to end each episode with the same two words).
Castle
“Awesome right? It’s my first cold case. C’mon, it’s a little funny.” – Castle
“Wow… I feel like Alfred in the Batcave for the first time.” – Beckett
90210
“Sesame Balls? Is that your nickname for Navid?” – Naomi
Reaper
Sock: “If we were meeting at the bar for the first time, I’d probably try and pick you up with my best line.”
Kristen: “OK. Pick me up.”
Sock: “Excuse me. Hi. I think you’re standing on my penis.”
Rescue Me
“So you fight fires once or twice a month, then the rest of the time you sit around picking your ass.” – Dwight
Sheila: “Are you staring at my tits?”
Her therapist: “Tommy’s staring at your tits.”
The Mentalist
Gabriel: “I’ve been exploring other aspects of my life.”
Jane: “Narcotics and despair?”
Gabriel: “It’s been tough, OK. I’ve come extremely close to having to take a TV gig.”
“You’re not gonna like getting squeezed by Cho.” – Lisbon
Better Off Ted
“Here, I bought you some briefs. The boxers you were wearing didn’t highlight your assets … penisly speaking.” – Veronica
Saturday Night Live
Gay couple from NJ: “We were just agreeing that we like you a lot better without your beard.”
Seth Meyers: “I never had a beard…”
Gay couple from NJ: “We meant Amy Poehler.”
Clacked by Kona Gallagher 
on Apr 13, 2009 @ 09:00 EST5EDT
