This week’s quotes were absolutely absurd. Between Marshall’s night shirt, a graphic mental image involving glitter clump and douche tags, it was pretty much a free-for-all. Hey, remember when Lucy and Ricky slept in separate beds because showing a married couple sleeping together was too risque for television audiences? Yeah, those were the days.
Anyway, these are some of our favorite quotes of the week. As always, feel free to post yours in the comments.
How I Met Your Mother
Marshall: “Ted, Karen’s a douche.”
Ted: “Wow, thanks for sugar coating it.”
Marshall: “Douche is sugar coating it.”
Marshall: “It’s a night shirt.”
Barney: “You can call it ninja star danger jock if you want, it doesn’t make you any less of a cross-dresser.”
Breaking Bad
Schrader: “Study the face. Study the file. Get a big ol’ raging hard-on at the idea of catching this piece of shit. Ah! My apologies to the HR department: ‘grow tumescent with anticipation.'”
The Big Bang Theory
Sheldon: “To start with, she has a terrible problem with moisture-induced glitter clump.”
Penny: “Yeah, it’s a bitch.”
Wolowitz: “Ah, I’ve seen this before.”
Leonard: “Where?”
Wolowitz: “It’s a common stripper problem.They dance, they sweat, they clump.”
Reaper
“Since when do you need more than one pair of pants? What are you, Jude Law?” – Sock
Ben (kissing Nina): “Tastes like pennies.”
Nina: “That’s just blood, silly.”
“Wow, you are a horrible judge of character when it comes to women.” — Nina, to Ben when she heard the story about green card marriage
“Don’t worry; it’s perfectly safe. Don’t ever sleep next to it because it will give you nightmares. And don’t ever make wishes upon it or get it next to a nuclear reactor. And then, just use a regular damp cloth to clean it.” — Nina, on caring for the hell geode gift she gave Ben
“Punishing souls is like raising children. They need consistency and you can’t reward bad behavior. They step out of line, you just have to give them a time out in the closet of abysmal agony.” – The Devil
“No, I’m not growing a douche tag!” – Sam to Ben when he suggests Sam grow a soul patch
South Park
Cartman: “I’m just mad because you shouldn’t use the term ‘fag’, Kyle. That’s a hate word, and it’s insensitive to butt pirates.”
30 Rock
“His video game made a fortune and he invested all of it in a company that dismantles bank signs, they’re doing… very well.” – Jack on Tracy
“Be careful, Lemon. You wake a sleepwalker, you risk getting urinated on.” – Jack
“Nope, I lost it. That was Batman.” – Liz, on trying to do a Jack impression
“Tonight I have to ride my bike over to his house in New Jersey to hold his hand during Lost.” – Kenneth on Tracy
Battlestar Gallactica
“I want the gun captains to do their jobs and start firing immediately, and to continue to fire until they run out of ammo. Then … I want them to start throwing rocks.” – Adama
Clacked by Kona Gallagher 
on Mar 23, 2009 @ 10:00 EST5EDT
