Of course, Big Love has an ensemble cast and isn’t about only one character. That is why the show is so complicated. But if you peel away all of the storylines except Nicki’s, it becomes really clear that even with all of the other characters and plotlines, Nicki represents the heart of the show.
When we first met Nicki, she was a spoiled, indulgent girl with a big spending problem. However, it makes sense: She went from a very sheltered life on the compound, where she had no power, to having credit cards. She felt entitled, so she bought herself a lot of things. It’s not hard to figure out that she was trying to buy feelings of love and acceptance that she certainly never gotten at home. Her parents and siblings are manipulative psychopaths. So, if Nicki’s a little messed up, too, she comes by it pretty honestly.
Nicki is also a hypocrite. It’s a survival technique, apparently. Everyone on the compound lies. The men all claim that polygamy is necessary to eternal salvation, but they barter and trade for young wives like they are Pokemon cards. The only power the women can claim is by vocally accepting polygamy and vying for the highest positions within their marriages. I have been so focused on Barb’s struggles with polygamy that it never occurred to me that Nicki might be having her own problems with it. Though, with what we have discovered about Nicki this season, everything is starting to make sense.
Nicki may have been in love with Bill, but she was chosen for him and given to him. This, after her first marriage, which she managed to escape only through being Roman Grant’s daughter. Ray’s attention to Nicki in the D.A.’s office was probably the first time she ever had a man flirt with her who didn’t completely creep her out. She likely didn’t get taken on dates; she didn’t need to be wooed when she was being given away.
She told Ray in this week’s episode that working at the D.A.’s office was the only time in her life she had ever liked who she was. She was judged only by the quality of the work she did and who she was; not for being someone’s daughter, sister, or wife. Whether or not Nicki loves Bill and the rest of the family may be irrelevant. She is, perhaps, finally starting to love herself. She is also beginning to see herself as someone who could work, support herself, and be wooed. Those are pretty big steps toward actualization.
It is through Nicki’s journey, even more than Ronda’s and the trial, that we begin to see how insidious polygamy really is. We are supposed to be sympathetic to polygamy because we like the Henricksons so much. However, we have been seduced. Bill’s patriarchy and the narrow-minded function of the principle are becoming more and more evident. If Nicki returns to the Henricksons, she will be forced to stop taking the pill and to have more babies. Her life’s purpose will be devoted to the family’s good. She may face an uncertain future without them, but it’s one she could choose. And the only way she may be able to escape criminal charges might be to be the last witness against Roman Grant. She would not only escape criminal charges, but in doing so, she might ultimately be free.
Would you go back?
Clacked by Jen Creer
on Mar 10, 2009 @ 10:00 EST5EDT
I am sure these guides will help lot of folks.
I am sure these guides will help lot of folks.
Oops…forgot to say great post! Looking forward to your next one.
Nicki wants to be with Ray. When she turned away from BIll and ran to Ray, she was running to the life she wanted. There is no denyine there is a deep bond that has formed with Ray and Nikki. Ray was deeply hurt by the betrayal because more than simple feelings are involved. Out of all the relationships on the show this one has taken over everything else. It is time for this woman Nikki to take control over her own destiny
I think Nicki is at the heart of the show, but she isn’t its only heart. I also think the whole self actualization theories are a bit too simplistic. At the heart of it, Nicki’s been told what to do so much that she never gained a voice or a way to speak up for herself.
We actually don’t know that Nicki was “given” to Bill, especially since she told Margie that she made that happen. I think she pursued him and dedicated herself to nursing Barb as a way to find a way into Bill’s family and to get off the compound. Yes, her marriage to Bill did cement her father’s tie to Bill, but I don’t think it would have occurred without her wanting it to.
Yes, Barb and Bill want Nicki to have more babies, but the true problem is Nicki doesn’t know how to tell them she wants something more than just babies. She needs to find a way to tell them about her dream of nursing and pursuing school, etc. Her self actualization and whatever form that will take can only happen when she can speak up for herself, which she has shown us time and time again that she is unable to do. She spouts the dreams that other people think she should have versus the dreams she has.
I don’t think Nicki could work within the confines of a monogamous marriage. She needs the confusion that comes with additional people to hide and misdirect her misdeeds. At Nicki’s core there is a need to manipulate in order to feel in control, and I know that she will never be perfectly behaved. But she does need to feel that she belongs and is accepted despite her faults.