Leverage’s Parker and the little naked man

My favorite new character on television this season is Parker from Leverage. Normally, this would be for superficial reasons. You know, because she possesses certain feminine assets that appeal to my personal masculine tastes. While I find her absolutely adorable, my like for Parker extends beyond her physical appearance to her overall character.

Her sly, unassuming grin reveals the innate knowledge of a skilled larcenist. She has an uncanny ability to adapt on the fly and is rarely frazzled in the face of pressure. I mean if your profession of choice is thief, nerves of steel would seem to be a prerequisite. Parker is damn good at what she does and she knows it. A confident confidence woman is cool indeed.

This past episode of Leverage, “The First David Job,” showcased Parker’s quick-on-her-feet thinking in one very clever sequence. When asked to lift a priceless statue (aka, the little naked man) from a museum with zero planning, she didn’t blink. To pull off this seemingly impossible crime all she needed was the following:

• A tight evergreen dress borrowed from Sophie. I’m being superficial now, but she looked fine in that dress and it gained her entrance into the museum.
• A cup of ice. Nothing blocks a room’s heat sensor better than frozen water.
• An impromptu make out session with Hardison. A perfect way to trigger a door’s silent alarm without arousing suspicion from the museum guards.
• Dark eye shadow. Brush a little on a fingerprint keypad and you have yourself a clear print to bypass the lock.
• Hardison’s gum. Great for affixing the cup of ice to the heat sensor.
• A roll of tinfoil. Used to reflect the laser beams on the floor. Very MacGyver of her.
• A succinct quote to account for her expertise: “Some people do crosswords.”

How can you not love Parker? I’d marry the girl, but I’m afraid she’d rob me blind. She might steal too much of my attention. I’d be heartbroken if she cheated on me. Alright, I’ll stop with the dopey puns. We all can’t be as keen as Parker.

Clacked by Scott Tunstall
on Feb 20, 2009 @ 17:00 EST5EDT