Quotation Marks – House; 30 Rock; Friday Night Lights

(Week of January 24)

It was a good week for quotes. Between Parker pretending to be a flight attendant on Leverage, and House and Cuddy just being House and Cuddy, there was a lot of hilarity on the tube. Read on for CliqueClack’s favorite quotes of the week and feel free to post your own in the comments.

Smallville:

“You’re not Davis Bloom. You’re not even human.” — Brainiac explaining to Davis who he really is

“I definitely feel a whole lot dumber.” — Chloe after Brainiac was extracted from her

Lie to Me:

Cal Lightman: “Charge by the lie. We can retire tomorrow.”
Congressman: “So, Dr. Lightman assumes I’m lying because I’m a politician.”
Foster: “No, Dr. Lightman assumes you are lying because you’re a homo sapien.”

Leverage:

“In the event of a water landing, your seat cushion can be used as a flotation device. But let’s face it, if this thing goes down in the water, more than likely the impact will kill you. Please take a moment to locate the nearest emergency exits; if this plane’s on fire, you’re gonna want to get out quick. Jet fuel burns at over 1,000 degrees — that’s hot, folks.” — Parker

“Look, flying isn’t really all that scary when you think about it. I mean, there are a lot more likely ways to die than on a plane. Car crash, house fire, electrocution, drowning, autoerotic asphyxiation. I mean the fact is, death haunts us everyday, no matter where we are.” — Parker

House:

Cuddy: “House, I’ve got a DYFS home visit on Friday.”
House: “And I’ve got a w-h-o-r-e visit on ah ….”

“This guy makes house look like a Christian Scientist.” — Foreman, about the huge amount of pain meds in the patient’s house.

House: “If you want a man to take your crap, you’ll have to marry him first.”
Cuddy: “Or employ him.”

Patient: “You don’t have a family, do you? ”
House: “Left them all back on Krypton.”

The Office:

“She’s hot. She’s hot as heck. She’s a female Boris Becker.” — Angela, on Hillary Swank

30 Rock:

“That’s a white myth Ken, like Larry Bird or Colorado.” — Tracy, on diet affecting Diabetes.

“Sorry! I dropped it when I was pretending it was my penis! Robot penis.” — Liz, playing with her Lego train.

“You can’t say ‘a-doy’ to me in mixed company” — Jack to Liz

“Now Dog the bounty hunter is the second grossest guy I’ve been with” — Jenna, on sleeping with Frank

Friday Night Lights:

Tim: “I know how to dress myself.”
Lila: “No, Tim. You know how to put on a plaid shirt and button one button.”

Lila: How’d you know that?
Tim: “Google. Why?”
Lila: “I didn’t know you Googled.”
Tim: “I’m not retarded. I can Google.”

Clacked by Kona Gallagher
on Jan 25, 2009 @ 12:00 EST5EDT